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General Parenting
How to teach difficult child to deal with frustration, disappointment, boredom, etc?
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 386109" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Jules, you've gotten some great ideas here.</p><p>I'm with-SW and others ... it's both therapy and medications.</p><p>Age 8-10 were hard yrs for us. Imiprimene has helped difficult child a lot. So has his Concerta (Adderal). Honestly, I don't think we could have done it with-o the medications.</p><p>They calm him down enough that he can absorb the info we give him. Otherwise, it's like talking in a tornado.</p><p>When he's off his medications for whatever reason, some of the "training" sticks. Not all of it, but enough that we're all still alive to talk about it. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p> </p><p>I really think there is something missing in our difficult child's brain. Sounds like your difficult child is similar. There are certain things he just doesn't "get," and never will. So I've told him he just has to memorize what we say, no matter how ridiculous it sounds. He doesn't "get" why he should say "No, thank you," for instance, instead of just a harsh, "NO!" We can argue for hrs over something like that. Now we give him a reward for saying it ... sometimes it's verbal praise, sometimes computer time. He has actually learned a lot of things since he was, say, five yrs old. When I'm ready to give up on him, on whether he will deep down learn "why" and "get it," I think back to the way he used to be and realize he has come a long way.</p><p> </p><p>The hard part is that it takes umpteen gazillion times longer with-these kids. They have a very slow learning curve in regard to frustration tolerance, social skills, etc. I'm not talking about 1 yr behind, I'm talking 5-6 yrs behind. In some areas our difficult child is only 2 yrs behind but I have learned to lower my expectations.</p><p> </p><p>If any of us figure out a direct answer to your question, we'll win a Nobel in medicine.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 386109, member: 3419"] Jules, you've gotten some great ideas here. I'm with-SW and others ... it's both therapy and medications. Age 8-10 were hard yrs for us. Imiprimene has helped difficult child a lot. So has his Concerta (Adderal). Honestly, I don't think we could have done it with-o the medications. They calm him down enough that he can absorb the info we give him. Otherwise, it's like talking in a tornado. When he's off his medications for whatever reason, some of the "training" sticks. Not all of it, but enough that we're all still alive to talk about it. ;) I really think there is something missing in our difficult child's brain. Sounds like your difficult child is similar. There are certain things he just doesn't "get," and never will. So I've told him he just has to memorize what we say, no matter how ridiculous it sounds. He doesn't "get" why he should say "No, thank you," for instance, instead of just a harsh, "NO!" We can argue for hrs over something like that. Now we give him a reward for saying it ... sometimes it's verbal praise, sometimes computer time. He has actually learned a lot of things since he was, say, five yrs old. When I'm ready to give up on him, on whether he will deep down learn "why" and "get it," I think back to the way he used to be and realize he has come a long way. The hard part is that it takes umpteen gazillion times longer with-these kids. They have a very slow learning curve in regard to frustration tolerance, social skills, etc. I'm not talking about 1 yr behind, I'm talking 5-6 yrs behind. In some areas our difficult child is only 2 yrs behind but I have learned to lower my expectations. If any of us figure out a direct answer to your question, we'll win a Nobel in medicine. [/QUOTE]
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