How was your Mother's day?

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by ski10, May 8, 2011.

  1. ski10

    ski10 New Member

    Not heard from my daughter today at all, didn't think too much of it this AM but it's 4:30 here and nothing, when I talked with her yesterday she said she couldn't buy me anything as she has no money, I said don't worry about that, it's totally ok.

    But, no phone call today, I'm suprised, my very sweet elderly neighbor brought over a box of chocolates and said "Happy Mother's Day" so I'm sitting here eating those, oh well.....
  2. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    ski...I'm so sorry. I don't know your story...but know this kind of thing hurts. Your difficult child daughter probably didn't fully "get it" that a nice call and/or a home made card would have meant a lot. OR, there is more going she has some guilt or is being passive aggressive (she is angry and is showing it by refusing to express herself up front and appropriately and therefore is expressing anger indirectly).
    Some time in the future, you might let her know (when the time is right) that if she can't afford a present, it would still mean a lot to you to get a nice call.
    In the mean time, what a blessing that you have a good friend that brought you the chocolates!!!!!!!
    Just so you know, we've had plenty of WEIRD and difficult holidays around here in the past a la difficult child "stuff."
    Mother's Day this year (knock on wood) was fine! Whew!
  3. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Aww dangit! Sorry to hear this ski... I know how disappointed you must have felt. Honestly if my daughter had not texted my difficult children yesterday prompting them to call me I doubt I would have heard from them either. They aren't scoring any points when they can't even break for one simple call. It was 4:30 before I heard from my difficult children and I had already started feeling let down and a bit angry though my oldest difficult child did stop by on Friday with flowers but still...gotta have that call.

    easy child painted me a picture and on it she said I love you mom happy mothers day. I baked her birthday cake and we all celebrated since she goes back to Louisiana today for college and her real birthday is tomorrow.
    I spent the evening with my mom her boyfriend and his daughter.

    Hoping you finally heard from your daughter at some point yesterday. And what a very kind/thoughtful neighbor you have. I think my difficult children former behavior issues in our home have officially scared off all of our neighbors sigh a couple yrs ago I watched a whole group of trick or treaters walk across the street to avoid our house...I hardly ever lock our doors I tell everyone it's because Were the scariest house in the neighborhood!

    Anyway hope you finally heard from daughter.
  4. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    Remember, ski, they're like two year olds: self centered and the world revolves around them. No doubt she thought she had it covered when she explained she couldn't buy a gift and it never entered her self-centered brain that a phone call would mean twice as much. So very glad you have such a kind neighbor. How sweet.

  5. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Mine was ok, with moments of depression. I'm not a fan of Mother's Day and it's usually a pretty tough day for me. I'd go so far as to say that I hate it most years.

    The positives: Youngest helped my grandson make a card for me with adorable 4 year old drawings on it. Oldest made us all a nice dinner, and she paid for all the ingredients.

    Of course, I had to pick Oldest up (she has no car/license), then take her by the grocery store so she could pick up a few more things for dinner, and drive her home after dinner was over. I spent money buying Youngest a gift from her children. I cleaned the kitchen before and after the meal.

    Yup, just another day in my house.
  6. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Mine had it's difficult moments, but husband and I made a nice pot roast and new potatoes and asparagus and ate it on our own. Later we got into a tiff because someone had taken a few nice photos of us - I haven't had my photo taken on purpose in 20 years because of a very noticeable facial deformity when I smile - and I thought these ones didn't look half bad. It was easier because I was with husband and happy and at ease at the time they were taken. I was getting somewhat comfortable with getting my photo taken again and husband finally glances at these and says "I won't even bother looking, I ruin every photo I'm in." I give up. He knows how I feel about having my photo taken, and he makes it all about thinking his face is round?

    Got a call from M, he says he sent me a card but figures it will be late. I'm not holding my breath, but at least he made some sort of personal contact. Got a text from L, "Happy Mother's Day Xoxo". It's the same thing she got me last year. The girl wears designer clothes and designer bags and designer shoes, and her birthday is practically a national holiday. Her father gets taken to dinner and a gift every Father's Day, birthday, and Christmas. I remembered her at Christmas with a gift even though we dont' celebrate, and remember her on her birthday every year with a specific traditional gift and dinner. I get bupkus. Last year when she sent the same text I was foolish and replied "thank you", so that made it her MD tradition with me. This year I was realistic and replied "Is this really what I get for Mother's Day from now on?" No reply. I'm sure that makes me an ingrate.
  7. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    husband was a sweetie, let me sleep in and then made food for me...

    Onyxx and Jett did not even bother to say hello to me, much less happy anything.

    [Then this morning Jett copped an attitude 'cause we refuse to add minutes to his tracfone that he a) keeps losing in his room, b) does not carry anywhere, so we can't get hold of him (even across the street), and c) uses solely to text BM when she is late to pick him up. (This is quite a lot.) husband asked him about texting us, and he said, "I text you guys all the time!" ...Me once, husband twice. Since December. When he got the phone, the agreement was - if he used all his minutes on BM, she would have to help pay for more minutes. She even agreed to this - but I sincerely doubt she will add minutes.]

    Anyhow, I'm happy. husband remembered. Several of my friends remembered. All is well.
  8. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    This is LOVELY.

    It REALLY irks me (although I don't always show it) how so many of our difficult children blow off this day or WORSE are miserable human beings this day. Of course, on some level, it is good to understand that they are suffering. And it is probably best to remain as unemotional as possible about it ESPECIALLY IN FRONT OF THEM.

    However, do NOT put up with any abuse. One thing we have done and it has worked well, is if our difficult child is in abuse mode....she is quickly shown the door. If it is the phone, we get off super duper asap/pronto! She knows this and it has been mucho better.

    I DO SO LOVE THE IDEA of developing new traditions...ones that are likely to involves spouses, other relatives and good friends that love and care for us.

    I was blessed with- a good Mother's Day...difficult child made me a card that was very nice. I spent a lot of time with- our son and daughter in law. difficult child called me first thing in the morning and was very appropriate. All went well...whew! husband got me some nice candles that I love! (He's awesome...I so appreciate him!!! )

    Anyway, life is good. Sometimes, we just have to take a slightly different road to find it.
  9. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    Eldest remembered and sent a text and called! Best Mother's day from her ever as she used to always be a big B on that day and make it miserable for me. This time it was just a very nice text and phone call with NO drama. :)

    Youngest remembered and gave me a hug and then was supposed to clean upstairs.....don't think that got finished.....

    And the biggest shocker was my husband! He is usually of the mindset that I am not his mother. But, he brought me a beautiful bouquet of flowers, cooked me a fabulous brunch and dinner and didn't make me lift a finger all day. We spent the day outside in the pool - alone!!!! :)
  10. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Nichole gave me a day at the spa. I think she was really proud because this is one of the nicest things she's ever been able to really give me and she paid for it out of her babysitting money. A lovely gift.

    Travis wished me Happy Mother's Day. He remembered, with him that is enough. He's not working ect.

    husband nearly made me stroke. He rarely, unless guilted into it, gives me a gift for anything. This year I got one of those fancy steam mops I've been dying for.......birthday and Mother's Day. Nice. No one had to make him feel guilty either. lol

    easy child and grands are still working on it. Darrin handles Nana's birthday and mother's day just sort of morphed that way. He gets his feelings hurt if he can't do it.

    Other than that? Spent the day with water retention so bad I had lots of trouble breathing.......still went to Darrin's soccer game and managed to cheer and laugh my head off........came home and cut out coupons and mapped out this week's deals.

    My kids take special pains to make xmas, my birthday, and mother's day extra special for me. They do it because all their lives they watched their dad totally ignore me at those times. It also makes them go that extra mile for their spouses as well.
  11. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Hugs to those whose mother day was not great... I have been there. Mine was pretty good. Got a text from difficult child which was more than I expected.... girlfriend probably reminded him but I was glad he at least aknowledge me somehow. Went for a walk with my neighbor and it started to down pour... we decided to just get wet and tough it out and get the exercise... her husband came by to see if we wanted a ride. We said no... 10 min late my husband came by to see if we wanted a ride, I said no unless it starts to thunder then come back and get us. LOL. I thought it was sweet that both our dhs came to check on us. A hot shower was nice after.

    Then husband took me, my daughter and a good friend of mine out to a nice dinner which was fun...... no gifts but I got a nice card and dinner out so I was happy.
  12. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Lisa, you'll have to tell us how the steam mop works out!
  13. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    I have been wanting to know about those steam mops, too!!
  14. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    easy child had gotten herself one a while back. She was head over heels for the mop. She was so mad when her husband tripped over it and broke it. (big guy, fell hard right on top of it)

    So far it's awesome. Easy to use, does a great job........and part I like best is I can toss the pad into the washer! (they give you 2 pads) The kind I got was the same as PCs which is the Shark brand. Not too I didn't want to put a lot of money into something I wasn't sure I'd like. :D
  15. Star*

    Star* call 911

    For any of you who had a bad Mother's Day - I will say I've had plenty - So many in fact that I finally got tired of hearing myself complain about it and I have started a new tradition here on the board for everyone.

    Do I think it's the very best idea -? I dunno.

    Do it's a replacement for your children and family to remember you - Of course not.

    Do I think it was better than sitting around my house all day long waiting for something to happen that never did and remember the two kids that are dead and gone and not having the one I do here to do anything for me again? Yup - sure do.

    So - in retrospect - I got up, I did something for myself - and when someone asked me What I got for Mothers Day? Outside of you here whom I would have to answer honestly - I got my sons yard cleaned incase any of you drive by to see it and a portrait of my Granddog made out of Arby's curly fries........I can honestly say "I got a lovely bottle of Dove bath soap that i've been wanting to try." and Ham and Pineapple pizza -because it was try something new year - for Mother's Day. And I'm okay with that, and THIS year? I'm not sad, I'm not upset, I'm not disgusted with my son, I didn't cry about the others - and instead of being upset? I'm looking forward to what I am going to get myself NEXT year - and I hope you will join us - because it really worked out good for those that tried it.

    I'm not waiting on the kids anymore. I know I'll get ME something nice - If he does? good - if not? I've got a nice gift to talk about - and I may even pick myself out a card with meaning. lol -

    HUGS -
  16. troubled

    troubled Guest

    On Mother's Day I went with my DSIS and DBIL to see my Mother and enjoyed seeing her for a little while but after a few hours, the conversation turned to difficult child and I got angry and bad-mouthed difficult child and ruined the mood. It was my fault, I started it because I was feeling sorry for myself. Most of the time Mothers Day is more about my Mom and not me. I just want the day to pass by quickly, like Valentines day. difficult child did make and send me a card after my sister reminded her and probably since she has nothing else to do sitting in jail.I sent her a card back, thanking her for the card and telling her that she is in my thoughts and prayers, whether she believes it or not. It was a sympathy card, actually, but the poem on it seemed very fitting and was about there not being sunshine until after a rain, no strength until after a struggle, etc. Oh, well. My instinct told me to acknowledge her doing something positive despite the reason why and that was the only way I knew how to do it without any risk.