How will I make my son go to a rehab center?

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Barbaramoore, Dec 16, 2015.

  1. Barbaramoore

    Barbaramoore New Member

    Hi! My son (17 year old ) has changed a lot since last 3 months. He is becoming more arrogant, more indifferent. He gets violent for very silly reasons. He gets back home late at night and I recently came to know that his new set of friends are a set of drug addicts and drug dealers. I'm scared! I do not know how to handle this situation. I'm a single mother and there is no one but only a close friend of mine with whom
    I can share my problem with. She said that I should sent him to an addiction rehab center. I'm ok to send him but I do not know how to tell him about this. He will never agree to this. How will I make him go?
     
  2. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome Barbara. You may want to change your user name so that you are anonymous. Go to the top right corner and click on your name and then go to the "username change" link.

    If you are going to take action you must do it soon before he turns 18. You should not have to be frightened in your own home. Each and every time he is violent you should call the police. He is still a juvenile and they may be able to order him into rehab for you, but you need to act fast.

    If this is your first post can you give us a little background on his behavior and what kind of drugs he is using.
     
  3. New Leaf

    New Leaf Well-Known Member

    Welcome B,
    I am sorry for your need to be here. I agree with Nancy that you need to act fast. In addition to calling police for his outbursts, you may also want to check with the school counselor, a therapist, or hotlines (211?) for direction and resources in your area.
    It is imperative to act fast, once he turns 18, it is out of your hands as your son is considered an adult.
    Since he is almost that age, do keep in mind that people have to want to change........

    Hoping you are able to find resources in your area.....
    (((Hugs)))
    leafy
     
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    You can also find out whether there is a resource officer in your area - here, we have them assigned to specific schools. They also have good insight into what options might be available.
     
  5. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    17 is a very difficult age. A policeman once told me that it was the worst age for parents because the authorities won't take action since they are almost 18 and parents really can't make them do what they don't want to do at that age.

    Basically, you may have to wait it out until he is 18 and then give him a choice of leaving or going to rehab. In the meantime, don't pay for anything for him. No phone, car, spending money, etc. All you are required to provide is three meals and a roof over his head. He can earn all of the rest if he wants the nice things in life.

    As the others have said, do not stand for any violence. Call the police each and every time he threatens you or your property.

    Hang in there. Check the laws in your state about what you can do when he turn 18. In my state, you have to go through the eviction process in order to kick out an adult child. Some states let you tell them they have to leave without going through that. I believe some states even hold parents responsible until the child turns 21.

    If you have money, you may have more options. You could check with an interventionist about hiring them to get your son into rehab. I have to warn you though that it is very expensive. I have even read about people hiring a team to forcibly take a teen to rehab or a wilderness program.

    In the meantime, find a therapist or support group to help you through this. Families anonymous is a great one for families in distress. Keep posting, too. You will find that the SA members truly understand what you are going through as we have already been down this path.

    ~Kathy
     
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2015
  6. Tymica

    Tymica Member

    In my opinion, the only way you can "make" him go to rehab is to make it more uncomfortable for him to be in your home than rehab would be. Cut off any money you give him. He is 17 so you have to feed him and clothe him, but you don't have to give him gas money, pay for cell phone, etc... Stay on top of where he goes, who hes with, what he does, etc... If he resists and becomes violent or scares you, call the police, and follow through.

    But in my experience in dealing with an addict around the same age who spent 2 stints at rehab only to relapse (and is now in jail at 18) rehab will not help him if you make him go. Rehab will only help him if he sees a problem with the way he is acting and wants to change. By giving ultimatums or forcing his hand you will buy yourself some time until you can legally have him removed from your hom, and there is a small chance he will realize the error of his ways while there, but here is a bigger chance that he will resent you, and nothing will change when he gets home. If our addicts do not want it for themselves, change will not happen.
     
    • Winner Winner x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
    • List
  7. NC Momma

    NC Momma New Member

    The person you need to ask is a magistrate. There are laws about when a person is dangerous to himself or others, the police can take them to be checked in to speak with professionals. In my experience, you can always, as his mom, call and tell of your concerns before he gets to the facility. That way, the medical professionals know what to address when he gets there. This is just an idea of how you might could get him some help. Best of luck to you.
     
Loading...