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How will you be ringing in the new year?
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 330193" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>The plans you ladies have sound great to me! I, too, like the relaxing sort of things, maybe a little socializing and time with immediate family. difficult child and I started our own tradition of grilling out our favorite foods no matter what the weather is doing, watching a movie together or playing a board game, and then trying to stay awake to watch the ball drop on TV. Not too exciting, but quality time nonetheless. We'd usually take the tree down over New Year's, too, and plan a vacation for the upcoming year for warm weather! Gosh I miss that this year.</p><p></p><p>But this year, I too have been experiencing the toxic feeling from dysfunctional people and worried about difficult child, etc. After spending the past two nights up half the night crying, I made a resolution for myself and difficult child. Since I have given up on finding a therapist who even understands what I'm talking about or who is able/willing to pick up with the recovery program my old therapist started me on (seems tdocs these days all want to throw anything previous out and do their own thing, which isn't much), I decided to just dig back in on my own. And, I decided that I need to talk to difficult child about this. I hadn't been comfortable about that before because I thought he needed to work on his own issues re. his absent father and coping skills and I did not think he was old enough to have old family issues dumped on his shoulders. But, maybe since he has thrown up to me that I have issues, too, which I always agree with him about that, I decided I don't really have to tell him everything about old family issues- I can however explain dysfunctional families to him and how they pass from generation to generation and that I am trying hard to stop that cycle and am going back to actively working on myself due to this. Maybe at some point I can get him on board to understanding that parts of this need to be worked on as a family, but parts of it are worked on individually and I'm doing my part so he can get a little involved, too. Even with the little I've read so far I can see where even though I thought I had made sure difficult child and I weren't acting codependent or enmeshed (and I still do believe that for the most part), there are "residual" aspects of this that contributed to him being a difficult child and has left him with less than adequate coping skills. </p><p></p><p>So I went to the bookstore today and short-listed six books, sat there and read a little from each one to try to pick out two to buy. I ended up buying three, LOL! Then I came home and googled "breaking the cycle in dysfunctional families" and found preview passages of another I'd like to get.</p><p></p><p>To finally answer your question- I'll be watching a football game, reading, maybe a fire in the fireplace, and a <u>little</u> pink champagne! And I'll be thinking my Higher Power that this year and decade are over and praying that this upcoming year is a turning point!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 330193, member: 3699"] The plans you ladies have sound great to me! I, too, like the relaxing sort of things, maybe a little socializing and time with immediate family. difficult child and I started our own tradition of grilling out our favorite foods no matter what the weather is doing, watching a movie together or playing a board game, and then trying to stay awake to watch the ball drop on TV. Not too exciting, but quality time nonetheless. We'd usually take the tree down over New Year's, too, and plan a vacation for the upcoming year for warm weather! Gosh I miss that this year. But this year, I too have been experiencing the toxic feeling from dysfunctional people and worried about difficult child, etc. After spending the past two nights up half the night crying, I made a resolution for myself and difficult child. Since I have given up on finding a therapist who even understands what I'm talking about or who is able/willing to pick up with the recovery program my old therapist started me on (seems tdocs these days all want to throw anything previous out and do their own thing, which isn't much), I decided to just dig back in on my own. And, I decided that I need to talk to difficult child about this. I hadn't been comfortable about that before because I thought he needed to work on his own issues re. his absent father and coping skills and I did not think he was old enough to have old family issues dumped on his shoulders. But, maybe since he has thrown up to me that I have issues, too, which I always agree with him about that, I decided I don't really have to tell him everything about old family issues- I can however explain dysfunctional families to him and how they pass from generation to generation and that I am trying hard to stop that cycle and am going back to actively working on myself due to this. Maybe at some point I can get him on board to understanding that parts of this need to be worked on as a family, but parts of it are worked on individually and I'm doing my part so he can get a little involved, too. Even with the little I've read so far I can see where even though I thought I had made sure difficult child and I weren't acting codependent or enmeshed (and I still do believe that for the most part), there are "residual" aspects of this that contributed to him being a difficult child and has left him with less than adequate coping skills. So I went to the bookstore today and short-listed six books, sat there and read a little from each one to try to pick out two to buy. I ended up buying three, LOL! Then I came home and googled "breaking the cycle in dysfunctional families" and found preview passages of another I'd like to get. To finally answer your question- I'll be watching a football game, reading, maybe a fire in the fireplace, and a [U]little[/U] pink champagne! And I'll be thinking my Higher Power that this year and decade are over and praying that this upcoming year is a turning point! [/QUOTE]
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