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How would you handle this?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 240171" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Acouple of things:</p><p></p><p>1) Where did he learn this from? I think you need to do some digging and find out. Because if someone was doing this to him, and usibng "I was only kidding" as a way to totally remove his 'right' to stand up for himself, then he needs to know how to defend himself from this kind of nasty thing.</p><p></p><p>2) He needs to know that this is what some people do, when they want to take a chance and say/do something mean, but still do it without having to take responsibility for their words/actions. This is not acceptable, from anyone.</p><p></p><p>A good friend of mine was tortured by her father like this, all the time she was growing up. He would say really mean things like, "You're a fat freak," but when she got upset he would say, "I was only kidding." Her failure to see it as funny was then added to the previous insult; not only was she a fat freak, she had no sense of humour either. In this way, it can be a really effective weapon for someone.</p><p></p><p>Maybe another thing you could add to your armoury in fighting this, is to point out, "If you have to explain you were only kidding, then you've gone way too far. 'Only kidding' does NOT give you a free pass to be mean, rude or a bully."</p><p></p><p>Good luck with nipping this in the bud. I agree with the idea of role play, it can be a useful technique with ADHD kids.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 240171, member: 1991"] Acouple of things: 1) Where did he learn this from? I think you need to do some digging and find out. Because if someone was doing this to him, and usibng "I was only kidding" as a way to totally remove his 'right' to stand up for himself, then he needs to know how to defend himself from this kind of nasty thing. 2) He needs to know that this is what some people do, when they want to take a chance and say/do something mean, but still do it without having to take responsibility for their words/actions. This is not acceptable, from anyone. A good friend of mine was tortured by her father like this, all the time she was growing up. He would say really mean things like, "You're a fat freak," but when she got upset he would say, "I was only kidding." Her failure to see it as funny was then added to the previous insult; not only was she a fat freak, she had no sense of humour either. In this way, it can be a really effective weapon for someone. Maybe another thing you could add to your armoury in fighting this, is to point out, "If you have to explain you were only kidding, then you've gone way too far. 'Only kidding' does NOT give you a free pass to be mean, rude or a bully." Good luck with nipping this in the bud. I agree with the idea of role play, it can be a useful technique with ADHD kids. Marg [/QUOTE]
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