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How would you handle this?
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 470427" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>For me, you already said the key words early in your post... long day, hyper, etc.</p><p></p><p>In other words, he is TIRED. Mentally, physically, emotionally, and every other form you can imagine.</p><p> </p><p>So... he did NOT intend to drop the cards. He just can't work to the level of detail that would at 11:00 on Sunday morning. Follow so far? So, my reasoning would be... that his motor skills AND his coping skills are at least blasted back to a 2-year-old level. Therefore... what expectation would you have of a 2-year-old in that situation?</p><p></p><p>I still find that it helps to adjust my expectations to where difficult child is actually AT, at the moment. And yes, its tough when a teenager gets blasted back to 2-year-old - but he does. And he can't help it.</p><p></p><p>A two year old would probably have heard "oops, here, help me pick these back up". </p><p></p><p>The rude defiance... is because he <u>already</u> has lost control... you just don't see it until the 'last straw' happens. By the end of his "school" day, J essentially has nothing left in his gas tank.</p><p></p><p>We had to restructure our lives and get rid of before-and-after school care... BOTH kids were too far beyond coping by the time school was over. But I have NO idea how you do that as a single parent. SO... you need to reduce your expectations in the evening, and focus on making it pleasant for J - and therefore for you. Expect top behavior at school, and on days off. But after a hard days work... he needs bonding time more than anything else in the world. And he's perceptive enough to understand that the expectations change - when there's a problem and he is fresh, he must do his part, but you understand that sometimes, at the end of the day, he can't quite do it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 470427, member: 11791"] For me, you already said the key words early in your post... long day, hyper, etc. In other words, he is TIRED. Mentally, physically, emotionally, and every other form you can imagine. So... he did NOT intend to drop the cards. He just can't work to the level of detail that would at 11:00 on Sunday morning. Follow so far? So, my reasoning would be... that his motor skills AND his coping skills are at least blasted back to a 2-year-old level. Therefore... what expectation would you have of a 2-year-old in that situation? I still find that it helps to adjust my expectations to where difficult child is actually AT, at the moment. And yes, its tough when a teenager gets blasted back to 2-year-old - but he does. And he can't help it. A two year old would probably have heard "oops, here, help me pick these back up". The rude defiance... is because he [U]already[/U] has lost control... you just don't see it until the 'last straw' happens. By the end of his "school" day, J essentially has nothing left in his gas tank. We had to restructure our lives and get rid of before-and-after school care... BOTH kids were too far beyond coping by the time school was over. But I have NO idea how you do that as a single parent. SO... you need to reduce your expectations in the evening, and focus on making it pleasant for J - and therefore for you. Expect top behavior at school, and on days off. But after a hard days work... he needs bonding time more than anything else in the world. And he's perceptive enough to understand that the expectations change - when there's a problem and he is fresh, he must do his part, but you understand that sometimes, at the end of the day, he can't quite do it. [/QUOTE]
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