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How would you handle this?
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 470456" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>Hi malika! I would have done the same as you did ultimately with the cards. just that now after 10 more years of it than you, I expect that is what I have to do. He spilled something the other day and he did have to clean it, we both had rags, I did a little, he did a little etc. It keeps the stress down and the fights too. Yeah, you know the score...smile! He was tired and you probably were too. You know one of my favorite memories of my mom is that even though I was in fifth grade, I would ask her to put my socks on for me (remember knee-highs?). I could do them myself, and I remember our neighbor lady once criticizing my mom/me for doing that. But, she just did it because she knew it reduced my stress and I needed her (it wasn't so much about the socks). It is thru these little things, our matching their needs that we make happy memories. Now, there are times when difficult child will actually say in a SINCERE voice, thanks mom, and gives me a super hard hug.</p><p></p><p>As for the "rude" sounding talk, our kids are different in many ways so we probably have different expectations but it sounds really important to you-and it should be- but I would consider his age and his difficult child-ness. (I have had to adjust my life long goals for this but we do continue to work on it). Maybe at a not angry/not upset moment, that might be the time to address that further. Would he understand if you did a little role play, he is the mommy and you show him what you want him to sound like and what he did sound like...have him practice...maybe in a play food/restaurant situation or something....</p><p></p><p> I would not do anything ever or go anywhere if I didn't realize that mine WILL be "rude" to me during the set up or transition phase of things. Once into the activity it typically dies down. About once per month (ahem) he gets in more trouble with it (Yes, I know it is really my level of patience that is different, not his behavior)</p><p></p><p>not much help. You are doing fine, just have to take it day by day.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 470456, member: 12886"] Hi malika! I would have done the same as you did ultimately with the cards. just that now after 10 more years of it than you, I expect that is what I have to do. He spilled something the other day and he did have to clean it, we both had rags, I did a little, he did a little etc. It keeps the stress down and the fights too. Yeah, you know the score...smile! He was tired and you probably were too. You know one of my favorite memories of my mom is that even though I was in fifth grade, I would ask her to put my socks on for me (remember knee-highs?). I could do them myself, and I remember our neighbor lady once criticizing my mom/me for doing that. But, she just did it because she knew it reduced my stress and I needed her (it wasn't so much about the socks). It is thru these little things, our matching their needs that we make happy memories. Now, there are times when difficult child will actually say in a SINCERE voice, thanks mom, and gives me a super hard hug. As for the "rude" sounding talk, our kids are different in many ways so we probably have different expectations but it sounds really important to you-and it should be- but I would consider his age and his difficult child-ness. (I have had to adjust my life long goals for this but we do continue to work on it). Maybe at a not angry/not upset moment, that might be the time to address that further. Would he understand if you did a little role play, he is the mommy and you show him what you want him to sound like and what he did sound like...have him practice...maybe in a play food/restaurant situation or something.... I would not do anything ever or go anywhere if I didn't realize that mine WILL be "rude" to me during the set up or transition phase of things. Once into the activity it typically dies down. About once per month (ahem) he gets in more trouble with it (Yes, I know it is really my level of patience that is different, not his behavior) not much help. You are doing fine, just have to take it day by day. [/QUOTE]
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