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How would you handle this?
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 470482" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Thanks for all these thoughts.</p><p>The reason I get so upset and concerned about the rude, disrespecful talk is not so much because of how it affects me (though of course it is not nice) but because I see it as a REAL social handicap that will blight J's life if he does not learn that it is a boundary not to be crossed. He does actually have some control over it - hard to explain how I know this, but I just intuitively see that he is choosing to be rude in those moments, in his four year old way, of course. It is one of the things I really want us to overcome. Time will tell if that is a realistic aim on my part...</p><p>I think there is something in what you say, Step. I think he does really want to play outside and he loves playing with T, the 7 year old who lives near us. But really it is too late for him to play out on a school evening - and then I just feel like we should have time together. We did have a nice time after we first got back home, with him telling me all about his day - I was quite impressed with his logical sequencing of events and recall, actually - and then fun playing hide and seek. I do sometimes use the "beat the clock" technique with him, and of course he enjoys it and is quick to take up the challenge, but tonight, as you say CIVA, he was too far gone in his crying and rolling around for that to have worked. </p><p>I have read the explosive child, pepperidge! Probably need to re-read it... <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 470482, member: 11227"] Thanks for all these thoughts. The reason I get so upset and concerned about the rude, disrespecful talk is not so much because of how it affects me (though of course it is not nice) but because I see it as a REAL social handicap that will blight J's life if he does not learn that it is a boundary not to be crossed. He does actually have some control over it - hard to explain how I know this, but I just intuitively see that he is choosing to be rude in those moments, in his four year old way, of course. It is one of the things I really want us to overcome. Time will tell if that is a realistic aim on my part... I think there is something in what you say, Step. I think he does really want to play outside and he loves playing with T, the 7 year old who lives near us. But really it is too late for him to play out on a school evening - and then I just feel like we should have time together. We did have a nice time after we first got back home, with him telling me all about his day - I was quite impressed with his logical sequencing of events and recall, actually - and then fun playing hide and seek. I do sometimes use the "beat the clock" technique with him, and of course he enjoys it and is quick to take up the challenge, but tonight, as you say CIVA, he was too far gone in his crying and rolling around for that to have worked. I have read the explosive child, pepperidge! Probably need to re-read it... :) [/QUOTE]
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