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How would you handle this?
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 470640" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Well, it's all learning on the job... Of course if I had thought about it at the time, I would have realised J's tiredness and helped him. But I was just reacting out of habit, as we do - the habit that he picks up what he has dropped. Next time I will be more aware of how significant his tiredness is. </p><p>That's a very fair point, Marguerite, about the avoidance mechanism. Saw it operating with J this morning, actually - SO much energy goes into avoiding something he does not want to do. And then I have my own points of rigidity and fixity - this morning we had a battle about hats, as a good example. It has suddenly turned freezing cold here and I wanted him to wear a hat. So brought down his selection of four or five winter hats and asked him to choose, thinking he would be happy to make the choice... wrong! Big shouting and crying protest about wearing a hat at all. So I said okay you can wear your jacket with the hood or a hat, and he chose, very reluctantly, the jacket with hood - though he refused (Custer's last stand) to put the arms of the jacket on. Such a silly thing and I am almost as attached to him wearing a hat in the freezing cold as he is to not wearing one. Philosophically I told myself I should just let him suffer the consequences of a cold head and ears, but as a mum I want him to be warm and not get sick...</p><p>Anyone who says it's easy? Send them out into the snow with no hat on! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 470640, member: 11227"] Well, it's all learning on the job... Of course if I had thought about it at the time, I would have realised J's tiredness and helped him. But I was just reacting out of habit, as we do - the habit that he picks up what he has dropped. Next time I will be more aware of how significant his tiredness is. That's a very fair point, Marguerite, about the avoidance mechanism. Saw it operating with J this morning, actually - SO much energy goes into avoiding something he does not want to do. And then I have my own points of rigidity and fixity - this morning we had a battle about hats, as a good example. It has suddenly turned freezing cold here and I wanted him to wear a hat. So brought down his selection of four or five winter hats and asked him to choose, thinking he would be happy to make the choice... wrong! Big shouting and crying protest about wearing a hat at all. So I said okay you can wear your jacket with the hood or a hat, and he chose, very reluctantly, the jacket with hood - though he refused (Custer's last stand) to put the arms of the jacket on. Such a silly thing and I am almost as attached to him wearing a hat in the freezing cold as he is to not wearing one. Philosophically I told myself I should just let him suffer the consequences of a cold head and ears, but as a mum I want him to be warm and not get sick... Anyone who says it's easy? Send them out into the snow with no hat on! :) [/QUOTE]
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