Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Humph! So Much for the "I want to change my life"
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 386623" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>Truthfully Lisa, changing katie's difficult child behavior as she says she will, is not going to be an instant change. It is going to have to be taught to her and reinforced over and over. </p><p>If she received money the thing she should do is offer you and husband something for the effort you put in. Even if it's 20.00 and you refuse it, it's what reasonable adults do. You don't take something for nothing. Sitting her down and teaching her how to budget so every penny stretches so she isn't without food or clothing for the children and herself is a good first step. Talking to her about changing her choices is how she may change but to think they wake up and say today, I won't act the way I did for 30 some years doesn't happen. It's a series of small steps. It's like an alcoholic. Even if he is at the bottom of a pit and wants to change he must work the steps and make changes, knowing he will fall from time to time and to start each day fresh. Katie needs to outline what small changes she can make to keep to a budget and to regain some control over her kids.</p><p>After saying that, they I would tell them they must pay you 10.00 for every meal they eat at your house and contribute 5.00 for gas. Save it for them when they are in dire straits or keep it or use it in a way that seems fit. Teaching her that everyone needs an emergency cushion is a good thing, instead of blowing it on nonsense. Things go bad for everyone in life but planning for it with even 5.00 hidden away is how you avoid financial and family catastrophe. </p><p>No free rides for anyone. You have been generous and helpful but you must teach her that despite being family, she is using your kindness. It creates feelings of being taken for granted. in you and your kids. She must pay her own way with the money bio gave Katie. She must budget out that money in a way that gets the best use out of it and she must write her bio a thank you note that says what she plans to do with it. She should write you and husband a thank you also. It helps putting words down more for the writer the recipient. </p><p>If they want to be around family then they have to contribute to the family unit in some way. If her husband likes it, he can participate, if not he can leave. </p><p>Katie will decide which is crucial for the well being of the children or being husband's rug, where he can wipe his feet on her. </p><p>She must find a job. Everyone goes to school or works unless they are bums. No one is supposed to get a free ride. What does she want to be? Obviously, her husband is a bum and has taught her that it's more fun to live off of public charity and beg family than to do the work and reap the benefits. </p><p>Even Travis with his multitude of disabilities always works and goes to school. What possible excuse could either of them have? </p><p>Hope Katie, takes the reins and asks how to be a contributing member of the family, society and her kids lives. If she asks how, then you can teach. One day at a time.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 386623, member: 3"] Truthfully Lisa, changing katie's difficult child behavior as she says she will, is not going to be an instant change. It is going to have to be taught to her and reinforced over and over. If she received money the thing she should do is offer you and husband something for the effort you put in. Even if it's 20.00 and you refuse it, it's what reasonable adults do. You don't take something for nothing. Sitting her down and teaching her how to budget so every penny stretches so she isn't without food or clothing for the children and herself is a good first step. Talking to her about changing her choices is how she may change but to think they wake up and say today, I won't act the way I did for 30 some years doesn't happen. It's a series of small steps. It's like an alcoholic. Even if he is at the bottom of a pit and wants to change he must work the steps and make changes, knowing he will fall from time to time and to start each day fresh. Katie needs to outline what small changes she can make to keep to a budget and to regain some control over her kids. After saying that, they I would tell them they must pay you 10.00 for every meal they eat at your house and contribute 5.00 for gas. Save it for them when they are in dire straits or keep it or use it in a way that seems fit. Teaching her that everyone needs an emergency cushion is a good thing, instead of blowing it on nonsense. Things go bad for everyone in life but planning for it with even 5.00 hidden away is how you avoid financial and family catastrophe. No free rides for anyone. You have been generous and helpful but you must teach her that despite being family, she is using your kindness. It creates feelings of being taken for granted. in you and your kids. She must pay her own way with the money bio gave Katie. She must budget out that money in a way that gets the best use out of it and she must write her bio a thank you note that says what she plans to do with it. She should write you and husband a thank you also. It helps putting words down more for the writer the recipient. If they want to be around family then they have to contribute to the family unit in some way. If her husband likes it, he can participate, if not he can leave. Katie will decide which is crucial for the well being of the children or being husband's rug, where he can wipe his feet on her. She must find a job. Everyone goes to school or works unless they are bums. No one is supposed to get a free ride. What does she want to be? Obviously, her husband is a bum and has taught her that it's more fun to live off of public charity and beg family than to do the work and reap the benefits. Even Travis with his multitude of disabilities always works and goes to school. What possible excuse could either of them have? Hope Katie, takes the reins and asks how to be a contributing member of the family, society and her kids lives. If she asks how, then you can teach. One day at a time. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Humph! So Much for the "I want to change my life"
Top