hurt mother

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by amberlina1, Mar 29, 2015.

  1. amberlina1

    amberlina1 New Member

    In a nut shell. My daughter and I were the best of friends . Today her father decides to move to Florida where we live and now my daughter decides she wants to give him a chance to be family. All this after I raised her. Today he, his wife and my daughter take pictures with captions that say how "wonderful "of a family they are and how they are going to be closer. I have had my dealings with her father and wife in the past and they know Im against a relationship with them, but they just keep making it it obvious and continue to play happy family with my daughter. My problem is that she knows how I feel about this , and she sais "she will persue the relationship with her father" . In the mean time, she has made no tatempt to visit me like she use to for mothers day or my birthday. She has lost all interest in me as her mother and friend and it's distroying me. I dont have any other child, as my youngest daughter passed away in a car accident at 21. She is all Ive got and today I feel like im loosing her too. Ive written letters to her , Ive called her and told her how I feel. It has not helped at all as a matter of fact , she sais I should "deal with it". I do know from my history with her that the more I try to keep her relationship with her father from happening the more she runs towards him. I have accepted that one day she would have this relationship with her father , however , I never thought she would turn away from me for it. I can live with that, I have thick skin. She's now 32 years old and can take care of herself. She knows I cant be in the same room with her father , because it doesn't go well with us, there are too many unresolved issues. My daughter thinks that I will finally give her what she wants and give in to her requets for her father and i to mend things , but she's mistaken. I have determined that in order for her to be happy, I will have to be honest with her. I will have to tell her that I will be willing to step down and accept that she will now share holidays with her father and family and that I want her to be happy. That I will be there when she gets married and if she ever needs me for any medical emergancy and such . Basically I will be on the sidelines and if she ever needs me Ill be there. This is the only way I can find it comfortable enough for me to bear this situation.
     
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome Amberlina,
    I'm sorry things are so rough right now. Hopefully in the future she will change her mind and be more inclusive. Sending hugs for your hurting heart.
     
  3. runawaybunny

    runawaybunny Administrator Staff Member

    I'm sorry your daughter is unwilling to take your point of view seriously @amberlina1. Hopefully time will soften her approach to you and give her some understanding of how and why you feel the way that you do.
     
  4. Confused

    Confused Active Member

    Im sorry your going through this, I am wishing for better days for you and your daughter. :hugs:
     
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