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General Parenting
Hurting Self-
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<blockquote data-quote="mjhawks" data-source="post: 650950" data-attributes="member: 18841"><p>It's good that you recognize one of his motives is to upset you. Even better that you walk away. Not engaging most of these kids is the #1 lesson we should learn along the way. It's not likely to solve the problems, but when you realize engaging them doesn't work either, it's easy to walk away. DQ loves to fight, and nothing pisses her off more than the fact that I won't fight back anymore. And that's fine. I give myself permission not to waste my energy on something I know won't work. It's liberating. </p><p></p><p>The reason I suggested ER when he self harms is for 2 reasons.</p><p>1) It will document a pattern of behavior, and it may lead to more thorough testing for your son</p><p>2) It could help shield you from a CPS investigation down the road. It shows that you are doing everything in your power to help your son, and that you are already reporting the "abuse" yourself to the hospital staff. That way, if one day he's mad and not getting the reaction from you he wants, he can't turn around and say you did that to him. Trust me, it will get to that point where he will try to hurt you and the other child by accusing you of abuse.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mjhawks, post: 650950, member: 18841"] It's good that you recognize one of his motives is to upset you. Even better that you walk away. Not engaging most of these kids is the #1 lesson we should learn along the way. It's not likely to solve the problems, but when you realize engaging them doesn't work either, it's easy to walk away. DQ loves to fight, and nothing pisses her off more than the fact that I won't fight back anymore. And that's fine. I give myself permission not to waste my energy on something I know won't work. It's liberating. The reason I suggested ER when he self harms is for 2 reasons. 1) It will document a pattern of behavior, and it may lead to more thorough testing for your son 2) It could help shield you from a CPS investigation down the road. It shows that you are doing everything in your power to help your son, and that you are already reporting the "abuse" yourself to the hospital staff. That way, if one day he's mad and not getting the reaction from you he wants, he can't turn around and say you did that to him. Trust me, it will get to that point where he will try to hurt you and the other child by accusing you of abuse. [/QUOTE]
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