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Hurting
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 320126" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>You are helping her way more than many mothers would. She's 22, you raised her, you can help her if you like, but it's your choice. Is she getting any therapy to address her issues? She and boyfriend made a very irresponsible decision. This isn't an oops child. It was on purpose and her second one and it sounds like she can't even take care of herself. She should not expect you to mother her like you once did for the rest of her life.</p><p></p><p>I'm with Janet on the borderline traits. And if she has it, she wont get any better without a lot of hard work on her part. I would gently nudge her toward independence by not doing everything she asks, even if she tries to put a guilt trip on you. </p><p></p><p>I'm a big believer in putting your own love life on hold while you raise minor children, because I think kids need your attention to be them, not a SO. But your kids are grown. You have every right to focus on the yourself and the man in your life. And in my opinion you have a right not to be excited about the new baby who you know will not be born into a stable home.</p><p></p><p>(((Hugs))). I wish I knew something great to say, but I don't. Just live your life first, I guess. Be there when you want to and can, but you earned a happy retirement from parenting.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 320126, member: 1550"] You are helping her way more than many mothers would. She's 22, you raised her, you can help her if you like, but it's your choice. Is she getting any therapy to address her issues? She and boyfriend made a very irresponsible decision. This isn't an oops child. It was on purpose and her second one and it sounds like she can't even take care of herself. She should not expect you to mother her like you once did for the rest of her life. I'm with Janet on the borderline traits. And if she has it, she wont get any better without a lot of hard work on her part. I would gently nudge her toward independence by not doing everything she asks, even if she tries to put a guilt trip on you. I'm a big believer in putting your own love life on hold while you raise minor children, because I think kids need your attention to be them, not a SO. But your kids are grown. You have every right to focus on the yourself and the man in your life. And in my opinion you have a right not to be excited about the new baby who you know will not be born into a stable home. (((Hugs))). I wish I knew something great to say, but I don't. Just live your life first, I guess. Be there when you want to and can, but you earned a happy retirement from parenting. [/QUOTE]
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