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<blockquote data-quote="bonkers" data-source="post: 24572" data-attributes="member: 3521"><p>Thank you all again for you responses,</p><p></p><p>Marguerite - The Midwest mom orginally quote was not alarming, just strong and straight forward no BS - which is why my reaction was WOW- it was not a specific statement.. I was taken aback - but it was what i needed to hear and was good for me to hear. I can not really tell you what I expected though...</p><p></p><p>He is actually doing well in School right now, We worked VERY closely with them and we have several processes in place including a daily card he brings home, he gets yes' or no's on all Items through the day (recess, math etc..) for both behavior and work completed... more yes' then no's means he goes to the school counsoler after school and gets to pick from a prize bucket, when he gets home he gets lots of "good job's" and the card get matted onto colored construction paper, glitter letters are drawn on with the words of his choice (difficult child ROCKS!, etc...) with sticks draxinmgs etc... and posted on his wall... Not so hot days resuilt in a , come on kido we both know you can do better then this - tommarow is another day though.. kinda talks... Breif and to the point - as much as I can manage.</p><p>As For medications, I am not anti - medications, not by any means, We put him on prozac for about 2 weeks as recommended for anxity, the reason we stopped is at the 2 week period when it was fully in his system was the first time he became violent - to an extream! This went on severly for about another week after he was taken off... We found out later that one of prozac's possiable side effects in kids is the possibility of extream violence... We wnat to make sure if he is taking medications it is for the right diagnoses... For ADD/ADHD I have been told the expected medication is a stimulant - he reacts to caffine and other stimulents the same way most folks react to expresso the first time they have it... I want to make sure it is right... When he came to live with us he was on a huge does of cloanadine (sorry my spelling is horriable - very phonic based!)for ADD and nightmares.. His dose had been uped 3 time in 4 months and everyone said it was not making a difference.. We took him off it (because if it was not helping what was the point) with the support and assistance with his then psychiatric. As for the nightmares within 2 months of living with us he does not have them anymore, unless he had a visit with Grandfather, or even as little as a card from Grandmother.. We are down to MAYBE one a month, closer to every other month. They were three to four times a week, blood curdling screeming night terrors (they were always called night mares, but when his dreams scare me and everyone else in the house I think night terrors is closer...) We are not against medications.. Just want to make sure it is right..</p><p></p><p>My Partner and I actually have a great relationship, we just celebrated out 11th anniversary and are going strong, Our biggest issue is the lack of time we have to spend together. We have never been fighters, we have always been able to accept our differences and find comprimies where needed.... Sounds too good to be true? I still wake up in the mornings wondering what I did to be so lucky in love and to find my perfect match. difficult child tried to push us apart attempted to play us against each other - the normal plays to the level that only difficult child can acheive (I am sure you know what I mean with your difficult child's) to no avail. He has learned - still tries but not as hard - nor is he no longer superised when he is caught and consiquenses are enacted!...</p><p></p><p>P.S.</p><p>Bonkers is how I feel fairly often these days - After all I must be at least a little nuts a looitle loopy and bonkers to still be able to smile through some of this... Though some days it is a lot harder... It is not an insult to me, mearly a reflection of my perceived mental status in my own odd humor... <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite6" alt=":cool:" title="Cool :cool:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":cool:" /></p><p></p><p>MidwestMom:</p><p>Thank you for the clairfication, I spoke with my partner last night and we both see merit in the MD for the psychiatric, you also make a very strong point for not specilizing. I feel their is merit in Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) for difficult child, however I do not feel that means he CAN NOT attach - which for some reason many think it does. He was mis-treated neglected tossed all over the place Bio mom would drop him off somewhere and not come back for weeks when she would say it would only be and hour etc... He was brought into care at 4 in one home for a month then into his only other foster home - a therputic home because of speach and neglect issues. He was there for almost 2 years before living with us. He does not seem to be bonded in anyway with her, nor did she seem to be with him - like I said, a very cold home.. But I do not think that means he can not attach. I feel that in many ways he is attached to my partner and I, just not in a healty "normal" way - YET... I have hope... Maybe that goes back to the bonkers screen name!! Thank you again.... Please keep advising!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="bonkers, post: 24572, member: 3521"] Thank you all again for you responses, Marguerite - The Midwest mom orginally quote was not alarming, just strong and straight forward no BS - which is why my reaction was WOW- it was not a specific statement.. I was taken aback - but it was what i needed to hear and was good for me to hear. I can not really tell you what I expected though... He is actually doing well in School right now, We worked VERY closely with them and we have several processes in place including a daily card he brings home, he gets yes' or no's on all Items through the day (recess, math etc..) for both behavior and work completed... more yes' then no's means he goes to the school counsoler after school and gets to pick from a prize bucket, when he gets home he gets lots of "good job's" and the card get matted onto colored construction paper, glitter letters are drawn on with the words of his choice (difficult child ROCKS!, etc...) with sticks draxinmgs etc... and posted on his wall... Not so hot days resuilt in a , come on kido we both know you can do better then this - tommarow is another day though.. kinda talks... Breif and to the point - as much as I can manage. As For medications, I am not anti - medications, not by any means, We put him on prozac for about 2 weeks as recommended for anxity, the reason we stopped is at the 2 week period when it was fully in his system was the first time he became violent - to an extream! This went on severly for about another week after he was taken off... We found out later that one of prozac's possiable side effects in kids is the possibility of extream violence... We wnat to make sure if he is taking medications it is for the right diagnoses... For ADD/ADHD I have been told the expected medication is a stimulant - he reacts to caffine and other stimulents the same way most folks react to expresso the first time they have it... I want to make sure it is right... When he came to live with us he was on a huge does of cloanadine (sorry my spelling is horriable - very phonic based!)for ADD and nightmares.. His dose had been uped 3 time in 4 months and everyone said it was not making a difference.. We took him off it (because if it was not helping what was the point) with the support and assistance with his then psychiatric. As for the nightmares within 2 months of living with us he does not have them anymore, unless he had a visit with Grandfather, or even as little as a card from Grandmother.. We are down to MAYBE one a month, closer to every other month. They were three to four times a week, blood curdling screeming night terrors (they were always called night mares, but when his dreams scare me and everyone else in the house I think night terrors is closer...) We are not against medications.. Just want to make sure it is right.. My Partner and I actually have a great relationship, we just celebrated out 11th anniversary and are going strong, Our biggest issue is the lack of time we have to spend together. We have never been fighters, we have always been able to accept our differences and find comprimies where needed.... Sounds too good to be true? I still wake up in the mornings wondering what I did to be so lucky in love and to find my perfect match. difficult child tried to push us apart attempted to play us against each other - the normal plays to the level that only difficult child can acheive (I am sure you know what I mean with your difficult child's) to no avail. He has learned - still tries but not as hard - nor is he no longer superised when he is caught and consiquenses are enacted!... P.S. Bonkers is how I feel fairly often these days - After all I must be at least a little nuts a looitle loopy and bonkers to still be able to smile through some of this... Though some days it is a lot harder... It is not an insult to me, mearly a reflection of my perceived mental status in my own odd humor... 8-) MidwestMom: Thank you for the clairfication, I spoke with my partner last night and we both see merit in the MD for the psychiatric, you also make a very strong point for not specilizing. I feel their is merit in Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) for difficult child, however I do not feel that means he CAN NOT attach - which for some reason many think it does. He was mis-treated neglected tossed all over the place Bio mom would drop him off somewhere and not come back for weeks when she would say it would only be and hour etc... He was brought into care at 4 in one home for a month then into his only other foster home - a therputic home because of speach and neglect issues. He was there for almost 2 years before living with us. He does not seem to be bonded in anyway with her, nor did she seem to be with him - like I said, a very cold home.. But I do not think that means he can not attach. I feel that in many ways he is attached to my partner and I, just not in a healty "normal" way - YET... I have hope... Maybe that goes back to the bonkers screen name!! Thank you again.... Please keep advising! [/QUOTE]
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