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husband - back
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<blockquote data-quote="crazymama30" data-source="post: 269564" data-attributes="member: 3184"><p>ditto what JOG said. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Hun, your self worth have to come from inside of you. It is ok to be discouraged by others, but your life is ruled by how your family treats you.</p><p> </p><p>My husband has severe chronic pain. No on really knows why, other than he abused himself when he was younger. He is 41. For years he ignored it, and I started ignoring him. He would not go to a doctor, and I decided if you won't help yourself then I am not going to try to help you. Especially if you are an adult. Done end of story. I think you need to take this stance with your husband. He knows what to do to get help, and if he does not then let him suffer. If you can't take it, then make an ultimatum, but you HAVE TO make good on it. Years ago when my husband's drinking was out of control, I kicked him out. He went to jail for duii. When he was released he moved in with a friend. After several months of being out and not drinking, I let him move back in. Mean what you say and say what you mean. Always. </p><p> </p><p>I am glad you have this place. If you need to sit and cry then do so. But after that you need a plan. You are one of the most abused women I know, and it never used to be physical, but now it may head that way with you difficult child. </p><p> </p><p>No one can love you the way you want them to untill you love and respect your self.</p><p> </p><p>KJS, I believe all the advice here is offered to help you no matter what is said. No one is trying to degrade you. Many of us have in some way been where you are, acted in similiar ways.</p><p> </p><p>Are you still in therapy?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="crazymama30, post: 269564, member: 3184"] ditto what JOG said. Hun, your self worth have to come from inside of you. It is ok to be discouraged by others, but your life is ruled by how your family treats you. My husband has severe chronic pain. No on really knows why, other than he abused himself when he was younger. He is 41. For years he ignored it, and I started ignoring him. He would not go to a doctor, and I decided if you won't help yourself then I am not going to try to help you. Especially if you are an adult. Done end of story. I think you need to take this stance with your husband. He knows what to do to get help, and if he does not then let him suffer. If you can't take it, then make an ultimatum, but you HAVE TO make good on it. Years ago when my husband's drinking was out of control, I kicked him out. He went to jail for duii. When he was released he moved in with a friend. After several months of being out and not drinking, I let him move back in. Mean what you say and say what you mean. Always. I am glad you have this place. If you need to sit and cry then do so. But after that you need a plan. You are one of the most abused women I know, and it never used to be physical, but now it may head that way with you difficult child. No one can love you the way you want them to untill you love and respect your self. KJS, I believe all the advice here is offered to help you no matter what is said. No one is trying to degrade you. Many of us have in some way been where you are, acted in similiar ways. Are you still in therapy? [/QUOTE]
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