husband is still mad at me for telling difficult child's counselor about an inappropriate touching incident with his little sister, because I knew she would have to report it to CPS. He has told me the safety plan is stupid, and isn't following it. He told the DCFS investigator that the incident was normal and if it was up to him he would have kept it in the family and not told anyone. He told difficult child that the alarm was coming off his door as soon as the investigation is over. We haven't talked about it since the first night DCFS came for the visit, because husband gets immediately angry. He's always had anger issues, but not nearly as severe as the first few years of marriage. He's the kind of guy that will yell and scream and cuss and call names, then 30 minutes later it's over and he's wondering why I'm still upset. Well, I thought we should try to talk again the night before last because we need to be on the same page. It didn't go well. husband was mad the minute I brought it up. He said there wasn't anything to talk about because I messed everything up. It's my fault they are investigating and giving us stupid safety plans. I am willing to sacrifice difficult child for something I imagine could possibly happen to easy child in the future. I am overanalyzing and I am wrong because I didn't go to school to be a psychologist. difficult child's counselor, who agrees with the way I've handled it, isn't right because she sees the worst cases so she is assuming the worst. I guess only he is right, because he can yell the loudest. difficult child was in the other room and didn't hear any of the argument until husband yelled quite loudly that he hated me (with some cuss words thrown in for good measure) and then left the room, slamming the door behind him. He came in about an hour later and said he was sorry. Last night he did the usual, acting like nothing happened. He asked me why I was in a bad mood. I told him it was hard to take someone saying they hate you and blaming you for everything. He said I should know that it's just the way he is, he gets angry and goes off. He told me he loved me more than anything but added that last night when he said he hated me, he meant it at that moment. He also said he's going to continue to be mad about it and at me until we get a letter saying the investigation is over and nothing more is going to be done. I talked to difficult child's counselor yesterday and realized that husband does exactly what difficult child does. He gets angry and lashes out at me. He says he hates me (and other choice words) when he gets mad. He doesn't take responsibility for things he does and blames me for making him mad. Even after the fact it's my fault he got that mad and said those things because I kept pushing him (in husband's case) or grounded him or made him turn off the video game (in difficult child's case). Whenever something bad happens, someone else has to take the blame and it is never him. All I know is I'm feeling like I'm done. I can take it from difficult child, but I'm not sure I want to deal with it from husband anymore.