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General Parenting
Husband is giving up on son
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 96308" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Oh dear. So sorry.</p><p></p><p>Ultimatums don't work unless you're willing to follow through with-consequences. Your husband doesn't have consequences. He has a short temper. How ironic, the similarities I see between him and your difficult child! Sorry, don't mean to hurt your feelings, just poing out that when you're a parent, you're in charge and it's not always fun. There is no easy ride here.</p><p></p><p>You have got to get husband into counseling. Family counseling with-someone who knows a lot about kids would be a good idea.</p><p></p><p>If there is a way to sit down with-husband and tell him that he's forcing you to choose when you love both of them, you want to do your duty to your difficult child, but you want to stay with-husband, whom you love. It is unfair. If you can tell him in a logical, calm way, it would be helpful. Listen when he complains about how hard it is, and even if/when he accuses you of exacerbating the situation. Just let him vent. Then repeat the whole deal about how HE needs to do his duty just as you are doing yours, and you two can make it easier on one another by having a date night and having fun together.</p><p></p><p>IOW, make sure he knows that you care about him. Then ask him if he cares about you.</p><p></p><p>Good luck!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 96308, member: 3419"] Oh dear. So sorry. Ultimatums don't work unless you're willing to follow through with-consequences. Your husband doesn't have consequences. He has a short temper. How ironic, the similarities I see between him and your difficult child! Sorry, don't mean to hurt your feelings, just poing out that when you're a parent, you're in charge and it's not always fun. There is no easy ride here. You have got to get husband into counseling. Family counseling with-someone who knows a lot about kids would be a good idea. If there is a way to sit down with-husband and tell him that he's forcing you to choose when you love both of them, you want to do your duty to your difficult child, but you want to stay with-husband, whom you love. It is unfair. If you can tell him in a logical, calm way, it would be helpful. Listen when he complains about how hard it is, and even if/when he accuses you of exacerbating the situation. Just let him vent. Then repeat the whole deal about how HE needs to do his duty just as you are doing yours, and you two can make it easier on one another by having a date night and having fun together. IOW, make sure he knows that you care about him. Then ask him if he cares about you. Good luck! [/QUOTE]
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