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General Parenting
Husband is giving up on son
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 96342" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>Oh, my... :frown:</p><p></p><p>I think it's somewhat typical for men to react this way. My father did to me. He wouldn't go to family therapy because it was my problem that was getting in the way. I was 12.</p><p></p><p>While I comprehend the thoughts that your husband is having, they're not very practical. If you choose him and not your son, who exactly is going to raise your son? That's child abandonment, and the state will charge you both. I get it that your husband doesn't want to see a therapist, maybe a better way to approach it with him is to see a lawyer as a couple asking advice about what your legal obligations to your son are. Then your husband can see that it's about <em>him</em> choosing between you and your son, or no one and he better figure out how he is going to make the child support and alimony payments.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes lawyers who specialize in family law are more therapist to their clients. I would tell husband that you have an open mind, and you want to protect yourselves from legal action by knowing your rights and responsibilities as a parent. Find a lawyer who specializes in juvenile/family law, and speak frankly when you are there. The lawyer will probably have ideas about placement and treatment, as well. Don't get upset, your husband can do that for both of you when he figures out that he doesn't get to take his ball and go home.</p><p></p><p>Your son's initial behavior sounds pretty typical for a kid his age who may have been a little over-supervised by dad in the past. It sounds like dad needs to loosen his grip a little bit if he wants a wife, home and family.</p><p></p><p>{{{{{{{{{{Big hugs}}}}}}}}}}} Sorry you are having a rough time of it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 96342, member: 99"] Oh, my... [img]:frown:[/img] I think it's somewhat typical for men to react this way. My father did to me. He wouldn't go to family therapy because it was my problem that was getting in the way. I was 12. While I comprehend the thoughts that your husband is having, they're not very practical. If you choose him and not your son, who exactly is going to raise your son? That's child abandonment, and the state will charge you both. I get it that your husband doesn't want to see a therapist, maybe a better way to approach it with him is to see a lawyer as a couple asking advice about what your legal obligations to your son are. Then your husband can see that it's about [i]him[/i] choosing between you and your son, or no one and he better figure out how he is going to make the child support and alimony payments. Sometimes lawyers who specialize in family law are more therapist to their clients. I would tell husband that you have an open mind, and you want to protect yourselves from legal action by knowing your rights and responsibilities as a parent. Find a lawyer who specializes in juvenile/family law, and speak frankly when you are there. The lawyer will probably have ideas about placement and treatment, as well. Don't get upset, your husband can do that for both of you when he figures out that he doesn't get to take his ball and go home. Your son's initial behavior sounds pretty typical for a kid his age who may have been a little over-supervised by dad in the past. It sounds like dad needs to loosen his grip a little bit if he wants a wife, home and family. {{{{{{{{{{Big hugs}}}}}}}}}}} Sorry you are having a rough time of it. [/QUOTE]
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