hi sorry yup me again and venting. husband really is literally driving me nuts. I'm at a point where i have to be honest if i had a job i'd probably say listen i love you, yet we require alot of work and i think it's best you leave while we go to therapy. thank good ness he's only here 2x a week on his days off and we cope tremendously well. he isnt' sleeping as of late, pretty much since i returned from portland. i have been lately standing my ground on sleep and taking it. i used to fold stay up all hours of the night when he walked in at 11:30 and midnight. than pay the price the next day. yet lately i've been going to bed, i'm also sick so i need the rest. he isn't liking it. first night i tried 4 nights ago he had a mini meltdown after we watched a movie and i said i gotta sleep. he wanted to let's say spend more time and i said i gotta sleep. so on he went on a mini tantrum. you always do this, it's not fair my night was good up till now on and on he went than went and sat in the bathroom like a two year old for two hours. ofcourse i havent' been able to sleep past 3 nights due to anxiety he's causing and also because he's in and out of bathroom (which is in our room) smoking out window, than into kitchen to eat, than back to bathroom. it's insane. luckily kids sleep thru it. we have a small 3 bedroom ranch so you hear everyone else when their walking thru hallway. i told him you can't keep doing all this stuff. i'm lacking sleep, just go stay in den. his answer i'll go where i want. oh sheesh. than i say you can't keep throwing fits each time you dont' get that from me. his answer nothing but rubbish. so i'd have to say we are at the biggest standstill we've ever been at. he's stubborn as am i. yet not willing to admit he's got issues there that are worth investigating and working thru. he remains strong willed in stating i have no issues. it's all your fault lol. i said why are you going to therapy with-me? to convince therapist it's all your fault lol. i said listen we can't go on this way. your giving me more than my share of anxiety and grief i'm lacking sleep due to you now. it's dysfunctional. i'm working hard with-kids all day long than my second day begins at midnight with-you. way too much. literally nothing i say gets thru to him or makes a difference. this insecurity he has is so severe he isnt' willing to go down the path to even talk about it. yet it's been 4 years of torment over this issue. i can't hack it anymore. we'll c what monday brings. i just know sleep for me is crucial and this man doesn't sleep. wants what he wants and i just cant' do it anymore thanks for letting me get that out. he's really throwing me over the edge im contemplating popping a xanax.