husband lost his job

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by ML, Mar 23, 2010.

  1. ML

    ML Guest

    We are stunned and shocked beyond words. This was totally unexpected. I'm scared out of my wits but trusting in my higher power more than ever. Have no choice! We were already paycheck to paycheck. The first thing manster said to husband is "are we going to be hobos now"? husband said told him that might be kind of fun to inject humor and talked about cooking out over a campfire. Manster said "but I'm afraid of hobos" lol. Though he is very happy about no more after school care as husband can now pick him up from school Got to always be looking at the positives. Please ladies (and gents), any prayers or positive thoughts you could send our way would be greatly appreciated. Love, ML
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Oh, ML, I'm sorry. I hope somehow this turns into a blessing in disguise. After a little time to regroup maybe he can brainstorm about ways to work for himself- I'm loving it!
  3. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    {{{ML}}} I will keep you all in my thoughts in hopes that once H is over the shock, he's able to find something suitable to your family. Manster just needs daily reassurance that he won't become homeless (normal for anyone, eh?) and I know you and H will work double time to provide that for him. Hugs, I'm so sorry.
  4. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Oh no no no!!!! Well, klmno has a good point... And since not much you can do, I am sending LOTS of hugs to you.
  5. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I feel for you, really. We are going through a lot of issues right now too. Another pay cut...a big one. I hope your husband finds something soon. Did he get any kind of severence?
  6. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Hugs and prayers!
  7. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    As much as it hurts to lose a job, it's the reaction of the children that always breaks your heart, isn't it? Poor Manster! So worried that he will be a hobo.

    When husband lost his job years ago, my DS ran to his bedroom to get his piggy bank. He thought that if he gave husband all of his pennies that would make up for not having a job. I just wanted to cry!

    I will send some good ju-ju your way. Hope things take a turn for the better, soon!
  8. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    ML, I'm so very sorry to hear this. Sending many hugs and prayers to all of you.
  9. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Oh gosh, I'm sooo sorry, ML!!!

    Big hugs,
  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Big hugs. So very sorry. Poor manster. Have to admit though, I got a little grin out of his comment.
  11. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Sending supportive thoughts and prayers your way.

    I don't know your husband, of course, but many years ago when I lost my job it had a major effect on my personal sense of worth. Having always been a confident head of family I spent days isolating myself (most of the time in my bed) before I could even begin to fall back and regroup. Applying for unemployment was a major challenge for me psychologically. My memories make me especially sensitive to your husband's trauma. Hugs. DDD
  12. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Hobos! LOL!

    Sigh. I am so sorry for your husband.

    Would he want to start his own company? I suppose he'd need capital, though, and you said you're already living paycheck to paycheck. Well, brainstorming is definitely what's going to happen ... along with-the classifieds and a cpl of headhunters.

    I am so sorry. Best of luck. Keep us posted! And hugs for husband.
  13. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Having recently come out of a six-month period of unemployment, I can relate to what you're going through. It was stressful. But we did see some positives come out of it for our family. husband was able to serve as assistant coach for easy child's soccer team because he was always home. He got to help transport kids to and from school because he was home. He got to help with their homework, meals, bedtimes, because he was home. It really was a nice experience for him, for them, and for me as well. It also taught husband a valuable lesson about frugality, and although he still splurges occasionally, he is much more aware of his spending, and tries to do without or do less expensively than he ever did before.

    That said, I hope your husband is able to find some positives during his "break" from work. If he's not aware of it already, is a valuable networking site for people looking for work. You can post your resume and other relevant information, and connect with others in your industry and even from your former employer. Headhunters comb through it looking for prospects frequently, and it allowed husband to connect with others from his company who were also laid off and keep tabs on where they landed. He ultimately got hired by a former colleague at a new company.

    My advice would be to take a short vacation -- even if it's a "stay"-cation, to allow your husband time to mentally decompress, because he won't have the opportunity to do that once he starts working again. (It's been an adjustment for us to go from 5 weeks of vacation a year to a zero balance!) Then he needs to get up each day like he's going to work and spend at least 4-6 hours actively working on his job search. It will give him a sense of control over his day, even if there are no leads for a little while. Eventually, the networking will pay off.
  14. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Awesome, Gcvmom. :)
  15. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    I'm so sorry, ML. You will have my prayers.

  16. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Gcv gives some excellent advice, as does DDD. Your husband probably needs some time to regroup mentally before plunging into a job search. I would suggest putting a limit on that time, though. At loose ends too long without actively looking and it's too easy to get stuck in a rut.

    I do have a few suggestions as well. I agree with Gcv that LinkedIn is a great resource for a job search.

    As for starting up a business, does your husband's line of work lend itself to being offered as a service? For example, if he's in technology, can he provide independent technical support to people, kind of like Geek Squad and other similar operations? He could set an hourly rate and a minimum number of hours per support visit (for example, $20 per hour, minimum 2 hours per support visit) and get started. That way, you're able to keep money coming in while he looks for something more permanent. It also allows your husband to put current employment on his resume, rather than having a gap.

    I'm not sure what your husband does, but there are lots of jobs out there for which you can start your own business without a lot of initial capital required. If you want to brainstorm on this a bit, please feel free to PM me.

  17. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry. This is such a scary thing!
  18. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    We're 6 months in to unemployment with husband not getting any nibbles due to age. This area has also been hit hard and that's not helping either. We're hanging on, barely.

    Check into any programs than can offer help.....even a little help can go a long way.

  19. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry, ML. We're there ourselves...Hubby was laid off Jan. 4.
  20. ML

    ML Guest

    Thanks everyone. The shock is gradually wearing off. I cried today and tonight I'm approaching acceptance. husband and I both think God wants us to trust Him more, so that is what we will do. Also, I will try to find the positives. I made my boss promise me he'd have his back for the next two years before he retires and he promised. Not that it's not possible it could still happen, but I do feel better. I know we're in good company and somehow we will get through this. I totally appreciate your awesome support. Love, ML