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husband not on board
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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 341144" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Julie - I'm so sorry husband isn't on board but like smallworld and Terry said, it's not all that uncommon for the parents not to be on the same page (at first). My husband and I have had our less than stellar moments over the years, mostly in the beginning when things were roughest because of difficult child's behaviors *and* because husband and I weren't on the same page. I'm not sure there's a quick fix - it took a lot of time and a *lot* of work on communication for us to become a team. A fair amount of icy silences too. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p></p><p>I can only wholeheartedly agree with smallworld's comments about ODD. I would be very cautious about a medication trial without having a better understanding of what might be the root of the oppositional behavior. But I also understand (and remember well) your desperation.</p><p></p><p>One thing that did work with- my husband was I pretty much put it to him that if he was going to place arbitrary limits on what kind of treatment our son was going to receive then he needed to step up to the plate a whole lot more, and he needed to come up with a better solution. He was traveling a lot in those days (gone 3-4 nights a week) and I'm sure it put a strain on him, but when he really began to have to deal with the behaviors (and the school) on his own, he started to come around a bit. We haven't always agreed but we've learned to compromise sometimes and other times, if one of us feels <u><strong>really</strong></u> strongly about something, that partner has the final say. It's a balancing act.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there - hopefully you can get into the specialist quickly and hopefully you and husband will be able to come to a meeting of the minds.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 341144, member: 8"] Julie - I'm so sorry husband isn't on board but like smallworld and Terry said, it's not all that uncommon for the parents not to be on the same page (at first). My husband and I have had our less than stellar moments over the years, mostly in the beginning when things were roughest because of difficult child's behaviors *and* because husband and I weren't on the same page. I'm not sure there's a quick fix - it took a lot of time and a *lot* of work on communication for us to become a team. A fair amount of icy silences too. ;) I can only wholeheartedly agree with smallworld's comments about ODD. I would be very cautious about a medication trial without having a better understanding of what might be the root of the oppositional behavior. But I also understand (and remember well) your desperation. One thing that did work with- my husband was I pretty much put it to him that if he was going to place arbitrary limits on what kind of treatment our son was going to receive then he needed to step up to the plate a whole lot more, and he needed to come up with a better solution. He was traveling a lot in those days (gone 3-4 nights a week) and I'm sure it put a strain on him, but when he really began to have to deal with the behaviors (and the school) on his own, he started to come around a bit. We haven't always agreed but we've learned to compromise sometimes and other times, if one of us feels [U][B]really[/B][/U] strongly about something, that partner has the final say. It's a balancing act. Hang in there - hopefully you can get into the specialist quickly and hopefully you and husband will be able to come to a meeting of the minds. [/QUOTE]
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