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husband relasped
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<blockquote data-quote="everywoman" data-source="post: 238782" data-attributes="member: 1436"><p>AOG--know your pain. My husband does not drink. He is a narcotic addict---loratab and xanex (sp) are his drugs of choice this time. Before it was Oxycontin---then when he couldn't get that he moved on to crack. </p><p></p><p>Thanks for the link gvc. I have read Codependent No More. I have lived its principals for over 20 years now---I think its been that long. I would not have survived if not. I have done the Al-Anon/Narc-Anon group. I know the mantra---I know the literature---Guess I need to get my books out and read again. I do not feel guilty. I do not think it's my fault. I am willing to allow him to face his consequences. I forgive him, my faith allows me to do that---my problem comes with the forgetting!!!! It took 3 years before I could ride by some old haunts without getting that feeling and as long before I could sleep all night without waking to check and see if he was still here. Do I have another three years to live with that nagging---and will it take even longer this time? </p><p></p><p>But, I'm still heartbroken. I feel like my husband has another woman that I can't compete with---and believe me if it were a woman, I could compete---but I can not/ will not compete with a drug for love and adoration. It just wouldn't be a fair fight. I make life real---his mistress makes it an illusion. I am honest---his mistress lies and makes it seem okay. He is numbed by his mistress. I can't do that!!!</p><p></p><p>Sorry, I'm still working through all of this AGAIN. I'm not trying to hog the board....but there is no one here to talk to---and if I talk to anyone I know, I will break down----can't do that!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="everywoman, post: 238782, member: 1436"] AOG--know your pain. My husband does not drink. He is a narcotic addict---loratab and xanex (sp) are his drugs of choice this time. Before it was Oxycontin---then when he couldn't get that he moved on to crack. Thanks for the link gvc. I have read Codependent No More. I have lived its principals for over 20 years now---I think its been that long. I would not have survived if not. I have done the Al-Anon/Narc-Anon group. I know the mantra---I know the literature---Guess I need to get my books out and read again. I do not feel guilty. I do not think it's my fault. I am willing to allow him to face his consequences. I forgive him, my faith allows me to do that---my problem comes with the forgetting!!!! It took 3 years before I could ride by some old haunts without getting that feeling and as long before I could sleep all night without waking to check and see if he was still here. Do I have another three years to live with that nagging---and will it take even longer this time? But, I'm still heartbroken. I feel like my husband has another woman that I can't compete with---and believe me if it were a woman, I could compete---but I can not/ will not compete with a drug for love and adoration. It just wouldn't be a fair fight. I make life real---his mistress makes it an illusion. I am honest---his mistress lies and makes it seem okay. He is numbed by his mistress. I can't do that!!! Sorry, I'm still working through all of this AGAIN. I'm not trying to hog the board....but there is no one here to talk to---and if I talk to anyone I know, I will break down----can't do that!!! [/QUOTE]
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