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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 385204" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Yah know........(long exhale) </p><p> </p><p>Daisy Face said it - excellently, and I mean right down to the 'Don't you know she/he was lying to you just now?' part. I sit back and I think when DF (dear fiance) comes at me with that 'tude and I think "Noooooooo, no he was NOT, this is legit, this is MY son being serious, being scared, needing ME, NOT you.....asking ME for help, did he call YOU? NO! And WHY didn't he call YOU?" (long pause thinking) be...cause........becau.se.....(and DF will stand there looking at me with that nare-do-well blinking man stare that I.LOVE.SO.MUCH) Because he....he.....(defeated I hang my head and grumble the words I am sure DF LOVES (LOVES DO YOU HEAR ME) loves to hear. Because he KNOWS you will not buy any of this </p><p> </p><p>baloney, melarky, bullca-ca, wool-over-the-eyes, tricks, games, deceptions, slight of hand, cry wolf, poop, devious, ARRRRRRRRGH! lies. AGAIN. Now? DF just walks away. Twenty years of this and you would think I'd be a pro at hearing the lilt in his voice during the stories, or the build up to a deception - but nooooooooo, not me, not idiot me. So when I get 'had'? I'm mad as sin. Then to have DF 'lord' over me (and he really doesn't it just feels that way because a 20 year old 'got' me when no one else in the world can. I'm angry with myself. </p><p> </p><p>So now? I have a better plan A - Yup. EVERYTHING that comes out of his mouth? A lie. Hi Mom (okay) How are you? (suspicious) What are you doing today? (Why what do you want me to do for you???) Then there's that pause and WHAM....I know there is going to be a CAN YOU, DO YOU, WILL YOU, IF I - will you........and sure as shootin' the kid lays it out like pavement on a hot SC day. And anything after that is LIES LIES......LIES. I call it........Story time. </p><p> </p><p>I'm not sure if there ever will be a day I believe him or trust him (insert chortle here) after the years of lies and deceptions and hours of arguments he's started between DF and myself DUE to me wanting to believe him - but I know this much - A house divided will surely fall and these kids KNOW that. The day DF and I became UNITED? It went from mild deception to pure hades in our home and it became an obsession to divide and conquer until difficult child realized it was NOT going to happen no matter what. </p><p> </p><p>What I can tell you about my talks with difficult child TO my DF? I now start them off with - WELL you won't believe what he said THIS time - and that seems to soften the blow between DF and difficult child's believablilty meter. Letting DF know I'm not buying - and difficult child isn't selling it very well anymore. I figure I have to LIVE with DF - and 99.9% of the time difficult child is lying so if I start off with WELL YOU WON"T BELIEVE.....regarding any difficult child communication? I get a better audience with DF. and a little more understanding as a Mom who just wishes her kid was well....from a man who has NO CLUE what to do other than tough love.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 385204, member: 4964"] Yah know........(long exhale) Daisy Face said it - excellently, and I mean right down to the 'Don't you know she/he was lying to you just now?' part. I sit back and I think when DF (dear fiance) comes at me with that 'tude and I think "Noooooooo, no he was NOT, this is legit, this is MY son being serious, being scared, needing ME, NOT you.....asking ME for help, did he call YOU? NO! And WHY didn't he call YOU?" (long pause thinking) be...cause........becau.se.....(and DF will stand there looking at me with that nare-do-well blinking man stare that I.LOVE.SO.MUCH) Because he....he.....(defeated I hang my head and grumble the words I am sure DF LOVES (LOVES DO YOU HEAR ME) loves to hear. Because he KNOWS you will not buy any of this baloney, melarky, bullca-ca, wool-over-the-eyes, tricks, games, deceptions, slight of hand, cry wolf, poop, devious, ARRRRRRRRGH! lies. AGAIN. Now? DF just walks away. Twenty years of this and you would think I'd be a pro at hearing the lilt in his voice during the stories, or the build up to a deception - but nooooooooo, not me, not idiot me. So when I get 'had'? I'm mad as sin. Then to have DF 'lord' over me (and he really doesn't it just feels that way because a 20 year old 'got' me when no one else in the world can. I'm angry with myself. So now? I have a better plan A - Yup. EVERYTHING that comes out of his mouth? A lie. Hi Mom (okay) How are you? (suspicious) What are you doing today? (Why what do you want me to do for you???) Then there's that pause and WHAM....I know there is going to be a CAN YOU, DO YOU, WILL YOU, IF I - will you........and sure as shootin' the kid lays it out like pavement on a hot SC day. And anything after that is LIES LIES......LIES. I call it........Story time. I'm not sure if there ever will be a day I believe him or trust him (insert chortle here) after the years of lies and deceptions and hours of arguments he's started between DF and myself DUE to me wanting to believe him - but I know this much - A house divided will surely fall and these kids KNOW that. The day DF and I became UNITED? It went from mild deception to pure hades in our home and it became an obsession to divide and conquer until difficult child realized it was NOT going to happen no matter what. What I can tell you about my talks with difficult child TO my DF? I now start them off with - WELL you won't believe what he said THIS time - and that seems to soften the blow between DF and difficult child's believablilty meter. Letting DF know I'm not buying - and difficult child isn't selling it very well anymore. I figure I have to LIVE with DF - and 99.9% of the time difficult child is lying so if I start off with WELL YOU WON"T BELIEVE.....regarding any difficult child communication? I get a better audience with DF. and a little more understanding as a Mom who just wishes her kid was well....from a man who has NO CLUE what to do other than tough love. [/QUOTE]
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