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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 385292" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>PatsG - </p><p> </p><p>Ya know - I loved going to a therapist. Okay I did NOT NOT NOT at first. I actually was tricked into going the first time. Yup. Sad confessions of a therapy-holic. I went to PROVE TO EVERYONE (points there and you and you and you) that I did NOT NOT need it. I got in the car, I slammed the door like a 12 year old, I rode all the way there with my arms folded. I got out, I said "I'll show YOU who needs a therapist!" and my girlfriend locked me out of her car. O.M.G. Then she cracked the window and said "Either you go in, and talk to the woman about how crazy you are becoming or you can walk home." (home was 55 miles one way, I had no money and was bruised from head to toe from a beating from my then husband). yeah I did not need therapy. So I went in and talked, and talked and talked.....and if you think I write long - OMG....</p><p> </p><p>Anyway - I got my son into therapy shortly after I got into a domestic violence group and not too long after that? I got out of my marriage, moved, went into hiding, and well - (scratches head and chuckles) yeah like ohhhh I dunno 15 years later? I actually was told this past March - or was it last March..nope this March....no it was last March that I no longer needed therapy services. I was a little remiss, but I'd been going so long it had become habit. I ENJOYED what I would call and still call 'blowing it out my donkey'. I mean - what I learned in thearpy? Well basically? You can NOT bihtc to your husband about your kids. You can NOT b to your best friends about your kids, and you can't do it to your family either because if you want ANY of them to be your husband, best friends and family that stays around? Yeah (draws chin down like ewwww) well? You need to have a B'ing buddy - and someone who doesn't just go "Uh huh....WOW....Ohhh That's ....Gheeee and give you sympathy and empathy. You NEED to have someone to throw **** at and instead of it just sticking? That person says "Well here's what I think you should do - let's try THIS next week coming." and WORKS through your stress, anger, frustration, and your short comings. Oh tpfhhhht...you don't have any? I have tons! You can borrow some of mine and take a few of those to therapy if you think you are lacking - feel free to borrow as many as you like to get started. (lol) </p><p> </p><p>Seriously? And here was the BEST part of therapy......O.M.G. the. Best. Part. Yeah - see I had to face ME. I actually had to deal with junk in my past, my childhood, and my entire life that MADE me (MADE ME) allow my kid and my husband and my so-called friends and people in the world to treat me lesser than I deserve. Yeah give that a go now after 15 years of thearpy. Not gonna happen. (insert super hero music dat dah da haaa) I am no longer a door mat for anyone. I no longer would accept snippy little comments and sarcastic criticism without a really clever comback - not necessarily a totally sarcastic comeback- which I could dish up on a whim and man would it stick - but one that would shut a mouth and sit him in the corner. I mean basically - either you are here to help me? Or you can get the H out and H would not be my first choice of alphabetical letters. Don't like that answer? There is the door. I'm done playing with namby pamby men who think that raising a child is YOUR child and NOT my child - and this is ALL ON YOU and I get to go do this and that while you are frustrated to the nth degree - and I'll stand over here and make my snide comments, and you fume. No maam. </p><p> </p><p>HOWEVER - once I started therapy? Another great thing about that? Was the invitation. Oh the invitation? yesssssssss (say that like it's spelled) The invitation is where YOUR therapist asks why the Father figure in the home is NOT participating in Therapy as a Family unit. As a united front, as a HELP-MATE, as a HUSBAND. Then starts giving you ideas as to why you are with that person, how helpful is he, why are you there with him? Yeah see that's why MINE didn't want ME to go in the first place. So I snuck around and went without him knowing. With DF? He was a little iffy at first, but when he saw that I was really trying to help difficult child? And needed his help? He jumped right in both feet because like I said he got letter....F. I'm not in a relationship with a kid to be alone........we were a package deal. He knew that up front. Front is also where the door is - so if this wasn't going to be for him? There was the door. No I'm not kidding. I'd rather eat soup than have a man in my life that didn't want to see my son get help. Rift? Sure at some point you have to say "I've done all I can for you (child) and now you are on your own) and I have to concentrate on MY happiness. I did that when Dude turned 18. legal in the state of SC. Until then? I was responsible for him and in turn so was DF. </p><p> </p><p>So therapist shouln't be a slap in the face. I should be a welcome YES - a day out for ME. And eventually - you may just keep it for yourself or see that you want your husband involved - depending on how "enmeshed" you are with your daughter. (It's not co-dependent it's enmeshed) ugh - tell him to get the words right. pft. lol. </p><p> </p><p>Anyway - Hang in there - and come here and sound off as much as you need. Sometimes I don't think guys 'get it' and keep in mind they don't 'talk' like we do to get things clear. We can sit down and gossip about a bad dress we saw on TV and it's a release. I mean do we care about a meat dress? No. Will we ever wear one? No. Do I care? Not at all. But did I have to listen to 10 women in the doctors office talk about it? Yup. - Pure release - and I'm sure it had NOTHING to do with a meat dress. Just bottled up need to blow it out their donkey about 100 other things - and it came out as "meat dress." (nasty) - lol. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs & Love </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 385292, member: 4964"] PatsG - Ya know - I loved going to a therapist. Okay I did NOT NOT NOT at first. I actually was tricked into going the first time. Yup. Sad confessions of a therapy-holic. I went to PROVE TO EVERYONE (points there and you and you and you) that I did NOT NOT need it. I got in the car, I slammed the door like a 12 year old, I rode all the way there with my arms folded. I got out, I said "I'll show YOU who needs a therapist!" and my girlfriend locked me out of her car. O.M.G. Then she cracked the window and said "Either you go in, and talk to the woman about how crazy you are becoming or you can walk home." (home was 55 miles one way, I had no money and was bruised from head to toe from a beating from my then husband). yeah I did not need therapy. So I went in and talked, and talked and talked.....and if you think I write long - OMG.... Anyway - I got my son into therapy shortly after I got into a domestic violence group and not too long after that? I got out of my marriage, moved, went into hiding, and well - (scratches head and chuckles) yeah like ohhhh I dunno 15 years later? I actually was told this past March - or was it last March..nope this March....no it was last March that I no longer needed therapy services. I was a little remiss, but I'd been going so long it had become habit. I ENJOYED what I would call and still call 'blowing it out my donkey'. I mean - what I learned in thearpy? Well basically? You can NOT bihtc to your husband about your kids. You can NOT b to your best friends about your kids, and you can't do it to your family either because if you want ANY of them to be your husband, best friends and family that stays around? Yeah (draws chin down like ewwww) well? You need to have a B'ing buddy - and someone who doesn't just go "Uh huh....WOW....Ohhh That's ....Gheeee and give you sympathy and empathy. You NEED to have someone to throw **** at and instead of it just sticking? That person says "Well here's what I think you should do - let's try THIS next week coming." and WORKS through your stress, anger, frustration, and your short comings. Oh tpfhhhht...you don't have any? I have tons! You can borrow some of mine and take a few of those to therapy if you think you are lacking - feel free to borrow as many as you like to get started. (lol) Seriously? And here was the BEST part of therapy......O.M.G. the. Best. Part. Yeah - see I had to face ME. I actually had to deal with junk in my past, my childhood, and my entire life that MADE me (MADE ME) allow my kid and my husband and my so-called friends and people in the world to treat me lesser than I deserve. Yeah give that a go now after 15 years of thearpy. Not gonna happen. (insert super hero music dat dah da haaa) I am no longer a door mat for anyone. I no longer would accept snippy little comments and sarcastic criticism without a really clever comback - not necessarily a totally sarcastic comeback- which I could dish up on a whim and man would it stick - but one that would shut a mouth and sit him in the corner. I mean basically - either you are here to help me? Or you can get the H out and H would not be my first choice of alphabetical letters. Don't like that answer? There is the door. I'm done playing with namby pamby men who think that raising a child is YOUR child and NOT my child - and this is ALL ON YOU and I get to go do this and that while you are frustrated to the nth degree - and I'll stand over here and make my snide comments, and you fume. No maam. HOWEVER - once I started therapy? Another great thing about that? Was the invitation. Oh the invitation? yesssssssss (say that like it's spelled) The invitation is where YOUR therapist asks why the Father figure in the home is NOT participating in Therapy as a Family unit. As a united front, as a HELP-MATE, as a HUSBAND. Then starts giving you ideas as to why you are with that person, how helpful is he, why are you there with him? Yeah see that's why MINE didn't want ME to go in the first place. So I snuck around and went without him knowing. With DF? He was a little iffy at first, but when he saw that I was really trying to help difficult child? And needed his help? He jumped right in both feet because like I said he got letter....F. I'm not in a relationship with a kid to be alone........we were a package deal. He knew that up front. Front is also where the door is - so if this wasn't going to be for him? There was the door. No I'm not kidding. I'd rather eat soup than have a man in my life that didn't want to see my son get help. Rift? Sure at some point you have to say "I've done all I can for you (child) and now you are on your own) and I have to concentrate on MY happiness. I did that when Dude turned 18. legal in the state of SC. Until then? I was responsible for him and in turn so was DF. So therapist shouln't be a slap in the face. I should be a welcome YES - a day out for ME. And eventually - you may just keep it for yourself or see that you want your husband involved - depending on how "enmeshed" you are with your daughter. (It's not co-dependent it's enmeshed) ugh - tell him to get the words right. pft. lol. Anyway - Hang in there - and come here and sound off as much as you need. Sometimes I don't think guys 'get it' and keep in mind they don't 'talk' like we do to get things clear. We can sit down and gossip about a bad dress we saw on TV and it's a release. I mean do we care about a meat dress? No. Will we ever wear one? No. Do I care? Not at all. But did I have to listen to 10 women in the doctors office talk about it? Yup. - Pure release - and I'm sure it had NOTHING to do with a meat dress. Just bottled up need to blow it out their donkey about 100 other things - and it came out as "meat dress." (nasty) - lol. Hugs & Love Star [/QUOTE]
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