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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 385534" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>PatsG - </p><p> </p><p>I'm glad you are going to seek out someone for you. THAT is Awesome!!! I'm flattered that I can help. Somedays when my life felt like it was never going to make sense again I wondered why? Maybe not just for me, but for all of us the beauty of hard times is in being able to help others eventually and mostly knowing and avoiding disaster when we see it. For me? That much of it is priceless. My former life was very interesting, and now I sit back and think - O.M. WORD are you lucky to be alive. I think it's what makes me happy - that and the fact that i've lost the curiosity of having to know the why's being it all. After raising a difficult child you just realize and accept a lot of things for what they are and deal with them the best way you know how. </p><p> </p><p>It is my hope that in seeing a therapist that it strengthens you as a person and helps your relationship with your husband. For me and my house it allowed us to clear the air, and not that we didn't have established relationship rules or know how to fight fair already - but the thearpy time almost seemed like a neutral ground to just be completely honest about everything that was bugging us and we had a referee of sorts that would say things like "Well just last week now Star YOU ---- or when DF said something HE felt I had done unfairly the therapist would say "Now DF I can remember at least X amount of things that Star has said X, X & X which were very complimentary about you." and then he would sit there and say "OH...oh yeah!" instead of "No no I don't remember THAT." and not have anyone non-partaisan to side with you both. I mean the therapist had NO gain to side with either of us - so when he did side? It was completely neutral and for OUR benefit. Once you work on that kind of trust for five years it also builds a pattern and then he just kinda let US go....I mean it was interesting to me because Im SO weary of people working angles that even the therapist said "You have to trust someone sometime." to me. I laughed and said "What angle are you working with this?" I mean it was very hard for me to even let HIM do what he was trying to do to help. He really had a tough job with me. (oh yeah says YOU) ahem. </p><p> </p><p>Anyway - I'm much better now. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tongue:" title="tongue :tongue:" data-shortname=":tongue:" /> lol.......ahem. besides.....a boatload of fun. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /> And it's a lot more fun to wake up in the morning with a happy go lucky attitude than that of a badger. If I had a chance to go back once a month or so and recap with my former therapist? I'd go. And I don't even really have anything to complain about - I mean other than loosing my job to a liar of a boss, my house falling apart, df being disabled, wanting to move and my house being a -----oh I said that twice it must really bother me huh?, m k......anyway - just daily junk - but still....save the fun stuff for your buddies - and give the garbage to the therapist. and us......I like to dumpster dive. and curb shop. So put it out there sista! </p><p> </p><p>Hugs & love </p><p>Star </p><p>and I'll put in an extra word for my niece - (and dinner gets colder and colder..........gotta add THAT to my list) maybe Santa will bring me a plate warmer. hehe. What I really want Santa is A DONKEY!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 385534, member: 4964"] PatsG - I'm glad you are going to seek out someone for you. THAT is Awesome!!! I'm flattered that I can help. Somedays when my life felt like it was never going to make sense again I wondered why? Maybe not just for me, but for all of us the beauty of hard times is in being able to help others eventually and mostly knowing and avoiding disaster when we see it. For me? That much of it is priceless. My former life was very interesting, and now I sit back and think - O.M. WORD are you lucky to be alive. I think it's what makes me happy - that and the fact that i've lost the curiosity of having to know the why's being it all. After raising a difficult child you just realize and accept a lot of things for what they are and deal with them the best way you know how. It is my hope that in seeing a therapist that it strengthens you as a person and helps your relationship with your husband. For me and my house it allowed us to clear the air, and not that we didn't have established relationship rules or know how to fight fair already - but the thearpy time almost seemed like a neutral ground to just be completely honest about everything that was bugging us and we had a referee of sorts that would say things like "Well just last week now Star YOU ---- or when DF said something HE felt I had done unfairly the therapist would say "Now DF I can remember at least X amount of things that Star has said X, X & X which were very complimentary about you." and then he would sit there and say "OH...oh yeah!" instead of "No no I don't remember THAT." and not have anyone non-partaisan to side with you both. I mean the therapist had NO gain to side with either of us - so when he did side? It was completely neutral and for OUR benefit. Once you work on that kind of trust for five years it also builds a pattern and then he just kinda let US go....I mean it was interesting to me because Im SO weary of people working angles that even the therapist said "You have to trust someone sometime." to me. I laughed and said "What angle are you working with this?" I mean it was very hard for me to even let HIM do what he was trying to do to help. He really had a tough job with me. (oh yeah says YOU) ahem. Anyway - I'm much better now. :raspberry-tounge: lol.......ahem. besides.....a boatload of fun. :winking: And it's a lot more fun to wake up in the morning with a happy go lucky attitude than that of a badger. If I had a chance to go back once a month or so and recap with my former therapist? I'd go. And I don't even really have anything to complain about - I mean other than loosing my job to a liar of a boss, my house falling apart, df being disabled, wanting to move and my house being a -----oh I said that twice it must really bother me huh?, m k......anyway - just daily junk - but still....save the fun stuff for your buddies - and give the garbage to the therapist. and us......I like to dumpster dive. and curb shop. So put it out there sista! Hugs & love Star and I'll put in an extra word for my niece - (and dinner gets colder and colder..........gotta add THAT to my list) maybe Santa will bring me a plate warmer. hehe. What I really want Santa is A DONKEY! [/QUOTE]
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