In my very long vent (sorry) from yesterday, I stated husband went to GNC for some pills for his knee's. Well, he finally came home. He said he ran into some buddies from work and went to have a drink. OK, fine. husband does not drink often. He might have one beer a week. And in the 21 years I have been with him he has never had "one too many", been "hung over" needed anything for pain..he's a man you know. So, I knew not to ask about how much he drank, I could tell. He then said he wanted to go to a near by bar for a bloody mary. I offered to drive and pick him up. He says no..he didn't drink that much. OK. been there done that. husband is a very mean drunk, or drinker. He proceeded to scream at me at the top of his lungs about how "he hurts(knees)", but I hurt worse. Then how his teeth hurt, but mine hurt worse, then how MY job is SO hard, and how he has only taken TWO vacation days in the last year. Meanwhile, I am trying to interject and it just gets out of hand. He hits me in the arm and I left. I grabbed my purse, thinking I was going to get in the car..then forgot I gave the car to easy child to go to the concert. So I start walking. Came to my neighbors house and they have their camper all set up, opened up. They were still up so I asked them if I could stay in their camper for the night, which I did. First of all, I took out, and paid for really good insurance so husband could get his knee(s) replaced. He refused saying it wouldn't help.(nothing helps him...he is a man) I DO say I hurt, (never said worse than him) but I call the doctor and I try to do something to relieve the pain. I have made Dr. appointment's for husband but he cancels. So, I quit making them. In 21 years he has never had a physical. I make an appointment for that, and he refuses to leave work early and cancels. My job is not hard, my HOURS are hard. He stated to me that he would never work anything but first shift. Well..you got to do what you got to do. The hours are the toughest for me since nobody else thinks you have to sleep. I go to the dentist, and if my teeth hurt I call the dentist. here too, I have made numerous appointments for husband and he always cancels, so I don't do that anymore. Vacation,,I have begged husband to take vacation with us (me and the boys). We have a cottage (my family) up north on the water and I have begged husband to come every year. He always told me "I don't get vacation". So, I quit asking. I know he does, but I am not going to beg him to take it. He rarely sleeps in the same room with me, so I doubt he even knew I was gone last night. I went home early this morning to shower so difficult child wouldn't realize I was gone. husband never mentioned last night. I am so angry. Does he actually believe all the things he said? When he is yelling like that he doesn't let anyone say anything, just continues louder and louder. So husband starts cleaning/washing the deck today. (big deck with lots of spindles)Hurts his back. Tells me he never had this kind of pain where it hurts when you breathe. I get him ice, he says that makes it worse. I get him heat, he says it doesn't help. (difficult child was at friends most of the day) I get ready to pick him up and husband says, "I'll get him". I ignored him, picked up difficult child, dropped him off and came to work. Do I address these issues with husband or just let them be? If I would address them it could never be in conversation, that would just make him angry and he would either yell or do the silent treatment. If I write him a note, more than likely he would throw it away without reading it. But, I would feel better. Long again. Sorry.