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<blockquote data-quote="Sara PA" data-source="post: 178033" data-attributes="member: 1498"><p>When my son was violent towards me, I racked my brain trying to figure out where there was help. He had already been in a phos and the resutls were underwhelming. After discussing it with his new psychiatrist and considering other facilities including one on the other side of the state, I saw no point in doing that again. I couldn't figure out what help the juvenile justice system could be. If they had answers they would gladly hand them over to the public just so they wouldn't be dealing with all these kids with neurological conditions. But they have no answers either. </p><p></p><p>My concern was less for my own safety and more for my son's care. I really didn't see that anyone had more answers than I did or that he would have gotten better care anywhere else. That's not to say I knew it all or was the greatest caregiver, just that I didn't see that anyone else had answers. In fact, I felt that all the options open to him ...or me....would likely make things worse. I couldn't get past wondering what is suppose to change if I put him in a phos? What could they do there that couldn't have been done outpatient over the previous two years? After hours of doctor's appointments, after spending thousands of dollars, after he took hundreds of pills, he was worse than when we started. Did that mean I should hand him over to the doctors full time? And he was sick, not a criminal. Why would I want him in jail/juvy? We fought hard to keep him out of the juvenile justice system simply because it we would have lost some control, forcing us to limit our options. </p><p></p><p>I slept wearing my glasses in clothing I could wear in public, my car keys and cell phone in my pocket in case I was forced to flee. I told my best friend and my dear aunt that if my son killed me, to make sure people knew he was sick, not evil. I bore the brunt of his rages while treating him with the respect that I would treat any ill person. I was scared but I knew my real son loved and respected me despite how he treated me in those psychotic rages. </p><p></p><p>And, for us, it worked out. I was fortunate, in this respect, that he is an only child and that my ex supported us financially, though not emotionally, through it all. I didn't have to work. My choices and options would have been quite different if those two things hadn't been true. </p><p></p><p>klmo, there are no answers. It's a different balancing act for each of us. And everything is constantly changing. We do the best we can to make the right choices for our children and ourselves. We do the best we can. That's all we can do. That and hope/pray we are making the right choices.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Sara PA, post: 178033, member: 1498"] When my son was violent towards me, I racked my brain trying to figure out where there was help. He had already been in a phos and the resutls were underwhelming. After discussing it with his new psychiatrist and considering other facilities including one on the other side of the state, I saw no point in doing that again. I couldn't figure out what help the juvenile justice system could be. If they had answers they would gladly hand them over to the public just so they wouldn't be dealing with all these kids with neurological conditions. But they have no answers either. My concern was less for my own safety and more for my son's care. I really didn't see that anyone had more answers than I did or that he would have gotten better care anywhere else. That's not to say I knew it all or was the greatest caregiver, just that I didn't see that anyone else had answers. In fact, I felt that all the options open to him ...or me....would likely make things worse. I couldn't get past wondering what is suppose to change if I put him in a phos? What could they do there that couldn't have been done outpatient over the previous two years? After hours of doctor's appointments, after spending thousands of dollars, after he took hundreds of pills, he was worse than when we started. Did that mean I should hand him over to the doctors full time? And he was sick, not a criminal. Why would I want him in jail/juvy? We fought hard to keep him out of the juvenile justice system simply because it we would have lost some control, forcing us to limit our options. I slept wearing my glasses in clothing I could wear in public, my car keys and cell phone in my pocket in case I was forced to flee. I told my best friend and my dear aunt that if my son killed me, to make sure people knew he was sick, not evil. I bore the brunt of his rages while treating him with the respect that I would treat any ill person. I was scared but I knew my real son loved and respected me despite how he treated me in those psychotic rages. And, for us, it worked out. I was fortunate, in this respect, that he is an only child and that my ex supported us financially, though not emotionally, through it all. I didn't have to work. My choices and options would have been quite different if those two things hadn't been true. klmo, there are no answers. It's a different balancing act for each of us. And everything is constantly changing. We do the best we can to make the right choices for our children and ourselves. We do the best we can. That's all we can do. That and hope/pray we are making the right choices. [/QUOTE]
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