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<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 690804" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>Wow....soooo much I want to respond to and I appreciate what everyone is saying. So if I miss you, I'm sorry.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Oh, I'd LOVE to do this. But if the bills were still paid, mine wouldn't care. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> I'm sorry you have to deal with everything when you should be able to lean on your adult kids.</p><p></p><p>Leafy, I so appreciate you responding. It's good to "see" you. These kids sound JUST like mine.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Leafy can come to Missouri and I'll go to Hawaii. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> Just saying....</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Mine would just go bat <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> crazy right back.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I know this. But what leverage is throwing him out, when he knows we aren't letting him come back? We ONLY let him come back this time because the apartment burned. If not for the fire, he would NOT be in our house. He knows this. He knows that any minute now we could put him out. He knows that we have said we'll put him out when the apartment is open. So what leverage is there. We're putting you out and you can never come back...so change. Why? Why change at all? What can he get other than "approval" if he knows it's coming anyway and that it's permanent barring another disaster?</p><p></p><p>I don't see that we have any leverage.</p><p></p><p>He's been LUCKY that the apartment opening keeps being pushed back. He's had TIME to find work. But he doesn't see it this way. He sees it as a bad thing because his "friends" have had time to change their minds. K found some girl to shack up with. J is planning on running off apparently. Because he didn't listen to us and get a full-time job...or any job...for ages.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I'm speechless.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I agree.</p><p></p><p>I can't help but sympathize, just the tiniest bit, that he hasn't applied for these jobs because he won't pass the drug test. But my sympathy runs out about a month back! He KNEW he has to get work. He KNEW that a full-time job is the best thing he can do...necessary if he doesn't have a roommate - and how reliable have those been? He KNEW that these places drug test. SO WHY DIDN'T HE STOP SMOKING POT RIGHT AWAY? By NOW he'd be able to pass the fricken test! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite4" alt=":mad:" title="Mad :mad:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":mad:" /> He moved in mid-April. It's JUNE! If he stopped right away, he'd be able to pass a drug test now.</p><p></p><p>But he loves it so much he wants to move to Colorado and grow weed. That's his ambition. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/cry.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":cry:" title="cry :cry:" data-shortname=":cry:" /> I'm so damn disappointed in him.</p><p></p><p>And I want to help him.</p><p></p><p>Please understand I don’t WANT to do it FOR him. But like you didn’t know how to use a computer until someone showed you how, doesn’t someone need to teach you how to find work? How to get started and present yourself? I thought I taught him this. I thought he knew. But more and more I think back on how I didn’t actually tell him what to do or anything and maybe I fell down on my job? Maybe he can’t do these things because I didn’t teach him how when he was young.</p><p></p><p></p><p>But he won't listen. He won't listen when I tell him to bathe and brush his teeth and he certainly doesn't listen to us when we tell him how to dress for work. Hell, I tell him I want him to get a haircut for court (pointing out I'm speaking as his lawyer, not his mother) and he flatly refuses. So he’ll walk in there looking like the pothead loser he is, with his “dress-up” clothes and unruly shaggy head. Yeah...he may go to jail.</p><p></p><p>It's exhausting.</p><p></p><p>On the up side, I feel pretty well rested today. He went to J's last night and never came home. About 9:30 we went to bed. I will admit, I usually take ibuprofen before bed...flexeril if my muscles are screaming at me. Instead, last night I took a vicodin that I had left over from the last time I had serious back problems. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/whistling.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":whistling:" title="whistling :whistling:" data-shortname=":whistling:" /> I was not nearly in enough pain to do so, but it's the first time in ages I haven't woken up with my shoulders aching. I think it's time I see an MD about them. I can't be taking narcotics every night as a preventative measure.</p><p></p><p>I'll be in training all day, with only my phone. So not much responding after this. Again...just me again, with my piddly little problems.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 690804, member: 17309"] Wow....soooo much I want to respond to and I appreciate what everyone is saying. So if I miss you, I'm sorry. Oh, I'd LOVE to do this. But if the bills were still paid, mine wouldn't care. :( I'm sorry you have to deal with everything when you should be able to lean on your adult kids. Leafy, I so appreciate you responding. It's good to "see" you. These kids sound JUST like mine. Leafy can come to Missouri and I'll go to Hawaii. :) Just saying.... Mine would just go bat :censored2: crazy right back. I know this. But what leverage is throwing him out, when he knows we aren't letting him come back? We ONLY let him come back this time because the apartment burned. If not for the fire, he would NOT be in our house. He knows this. He knows that any minute now we could put him out. He knows that we have said we'll put him out when the apartment is open. So what leverage is there. We're putting you out and you can never come back...so change. Why? Why change at all? What can he get other than "approval" if he knows it's coming anyway and that it's permanent barring another disaster? I don't see that we have any leverage. He's been LUCKY that the apartment opening keeps being pushed back. He's had TIME to find work. But he doesn't see it this way. He sees it as a bad thing because his "friends" have had time to change their minds. K found some girl to shack up with. J is planning on running off apparently. Because he didn't listen to us and get a full-time job...or any job...for ages. I'm speechless. I agree. I can't help but sympathize, just the tiniest bit, that he hasn't applied for these jobs because he won't pass the drug test. But my sympathy runs out about a month back! He KNEW he has to get work. He KNEW that a full-time job is the best thing he can do...necessary if he doesn't have a roommate - and how reliable have those been? He KNEW that these places drug test. SO WHY DIDN'T HE STOP SMOKING POT RIGHT AWAY? By NOW he'd be able to pass the fricken test! :mad: He moved in mid-April. It's JUNE! If he stopped right away, he'd be able to pass a drug test now. But he loves it so much he wants to move to Colorado and grow weed. That's his ambition. :cry: I'm so damn disappointed in him. And I want to help him. Please understand I don’t WANT to do it FOR him. But like you didn’t know how to use a computer until someone showed you how, doesn’t someone need to teach you how to find work? How to get started and present yourself? I thought I taught him this. I thought he knew. But more and more I think back on how I didn’t actually tell him what to do or anything and maybe I fell down on my job? Maybe he can’t do these things because I didn’t teach him how when he was young. But he won't listen. He won't listen when I tell him to bathe and brush his teeth and he certainly doesn't listen to us when we tell him how to dress for work. Hell, I tell him I want him to get a haircut for court (pointing out I'm speaking as his lawyer, not his mother) and he flatly refuses. So he’ll walk in there looking like the pothead loser he is, with his “dress-up” clothes and unruly shaggy head. Yeah...he may go to jail. It's exhausting. On the up side, I feel pretty well rested today. He went to J's last night and never came home. About 9:30 we went to bed. I will admit, I usually take ibuprofen before bed...flexeril if my muscles are screaming at me. Instead, last night I took a vicodin that I had left over from the last time I had serious back problems. :whistling: I was not nearly in enough pain to do so, but it's the first time in ages I haven't woken up with my shoulders aching. I think it's time I see an MD about them. I can't be taking narcotics every night as a preventative measure. I'll be in training all day, with only my phone. So not much responding after this. Again...just me again, with my piddly little problems. [/QUOTE]
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