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I acted on a suspicion
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<blockquote data-quote="Jabberwockey" data-source="post: 690989" data-attributes="member: 18238"><p>He's had nothing but time. Would have had more if he wasn't being blindly loyal to a "friend" and just come straight home when we offered it. He has been here since around mid April and was supposed to be gone by May 1st. Now we are looking at July 1st. He's had plenty of time, he chose not to take advantage of it. Even now, knowing he will be pushing it to have the money for the rent, what does he do? He goes out with friends to spend what little money he has. As for professional help, he doesn't want it. Oh, when you bring it up, he goes. But its done more in the manner of "See! I'm what you asked me to!" not truly seeking help. He still doesn't think he needs help.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Nothing to be sorry for. I know you would, always have. You would have given him the car if it weren't for me. You would pay his bills, at least for a time, if it weren't for me. I just can't see that as being a good thing for him. I also CAN'T have him living in this house much longer with me. Either I'm going to piss him off or he's going to piss me off. Either way it won't end well.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>There is one of the problems in our situation. Lil is more than happy to have him live here and give him rides. She made a deal with him to give him three rides a week over to his friends house. I won't do it. As far as I'm concerned, if he wants to get there he can walk or ride a bike. That's what I had to do when I was in High School. I rarely had access to a car and we lived a mile or two out of town. If I wanted to go into town and see my friends I either waited for someone who was heading into town or rode my bike. When I did get access to a car or one of my sisters gave me a ride, I put gas in the tank. Our son thinks that rides are owed to him and it makes me want to smack him. He asked me for a ride the other day and I told him no, I had chores to do and didn't want to give him a ride. He asked "What if I help with the chores?". I said "I don't want to." Lil gave him a ride when she got home.</p><p></p><p>So its not just about what SHE can stand but what WE can stand. I'm trying to be more in tune with what she wants and she's trying to be more in tune with what I want and its working, but not all that well. Neither one of is is willing and/or able to come up with a true compromise on this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jabberwockey, post: 690989, member: 18238"] He's had nothing but time. Would have had more if he wasn't being blindly loyal to a "friend" and just come straight home when we offered it. He has been here since around mid April and was supposed to be gone by May 1st. Now we are looking at July 1st. He's had plenty of time, he chose not to take advantage of it. Even now, knowing he will be pushing it to have the money for the rent, what does he do? He goes out with friends to spend what little money he has. As for professional help, he doesn't want it. Oh, when you bring it up, he goes. But its done more in the manner of "See! I'm what you asked me to!" not truly seeking help. He still doesn't think he needs help. Nothing to be sorry for. I know you would, always have. You would have given him the car if it weren't for me. You would pay his bills, at least for a time, if it weren't for me. I just can't see that as being a good thing for him. I also CAN'T have him living in this house much longer with me. Either I'm going to piss him off or he's going to piss me off. Either way it won't end well. There is one of the problems in our situation. Lil is more than happy to have him live here and give him rides. She made a deal with him to give him three rides a week over to his friends house. I won't do it. As far as I'm concerned, if he wants to get there he can walk or ride a bike. That's what I had to do when I was in High School. I rarely had access to a car and we lived a mile or two out of town. If I wanted to go into town and see my friends I either waited for someone who was heading into town or rode my bike. When I did get access to a car or one of my sisters gave me a ride, I put gas in the tank. Our son thinks that rides are owed to him and it makes me want to smack him. He asked me for a ride the other day and I told him no, I had chores to do and didn't want to give him a ride. He asked "What if I help with the chores?". I said "I don't want to." Lil gave him a ride when she got home. So its not just about what SHE can stand but what WE can stand. I'm trying to be more in tune with what she wants and she's trying to be more in tune with what I want and its working, but not all that well. Neither one of is is willing and/or able to come up with a true compromise on this. [/QUOTE]
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