I am a bad mom...

[ksm]

After taking two kids to school, I parked a block away from the house and waited ten minutes to make sure I wouldn't have to see difficult child again this morning. I leave the house at 7:30 and take little sis to the grade school about 12 blocks away (it is 13 degrees out today) Then I drop DFES off at the high school - about 1.5 miles away. Most days difficult child walks the 4 blocks to middle school, as she doesn't get up and get ready to leave at 7:30. Her school starts at 8am. If she got there early, she could eat breakfast at school, or go to classes where she is behind and get help. (Which is a LOT of classes!)

When we woke her up this morning, she starts screaming at husband and me. "I TOLD YOU TO WAKE ME UP AT THE REGULAR TIME - NOT EARLY!" We explain that it is the regular time. Then she says in a disgusted voice "Well, Alyssa isn't up... why wake me up before Alyssa?" Explain that Alyssa is up and in the bathroom. More screaming. It was an awful morning. She did come down stairs before we left... and again I asked her if she wanted to ride and she said no. Usually, when I get home, she is just on the way out the door so I end up giving her a ride anyway.

She was mad at little sis, as she wanted to wear her boots and easy child didn't want to share. I don't blame her as difficult child never wants to share her things. It is definitely a two way street. We never get apologies for her out bursts.


I just couldn't force myself to have one more encounter this morning. Well, I will print out my nice letter to the school psychiatric and take it to the office. I just feel like difficult child is slipping away from us. She is going from honor roll student in fifth grade... to failing half her subjects in 8th grade. KSM

 

[DaisyFace]

That sounds like a stressful morning - I don't blame you for "hiding"...

(((hugs)))

 

[remclick]

That sounds like our typical morning too. It's awful. Just know you are not alone and don't beat yourself up. We're doing the best that we can at that moment.

 

[rdland]

Don't feel bad. Seeing her again would have just set her off. It is ok to take a timeout for yourself some times.

 

[AnnieO]

You are SO not a bad mom!!!

LOL I've had lots of those moments. Especially after work... In the morning I'd get up, shower, wake kids, get ready (in my room with the door closed) and LEAVE (I have to be at work at 7:30). But in the afternoon... Many times I found myself making up errands to run, taking the long way home...

 

[JJJ]

Agree -- NOT a bad mom. You are lucky that you can leave her home alone and that she will get herself to school. Next time, don't just sit in your car -- go to Starbucks!

 

[InsaneCdn]

KSM...

In my books, the only thing you did "bad" this morning was call yourself a "bad mom".

NO namecalling, no negative labels. Even to yourself.

Otherwise... you ARE allowed to be human, to have limits, to get frustrated... even to get burn-out.

Try and look after yourself... (hard to find time, I know, but worth the investment)

 

[Bunny]

Ugh!! I hate thos bad mornings. Honestly, I would have done the same thing that you did. Why put yourself in the position to have to deal with another outburts is you can avoid it? And please don't call yourself a bad mom. You were frustrated. We've all been there and I know that I can totally relate.

I hope difficult child is in a better mood when she gets home from school.

 

[Methuselah]

KSM, you're not a bad mom! Because if you are, then I am! difficult children are exhausting. Their lack of self-awareness can be draining. When someone thinks about themselves and only themselves ... and then cranks for the sake of cranking? No one, not even moms, want to be around that. I always remind myself I am a human first and a mother second.

 

[StressedM0mma]

Ksm you are not a bad mom at all. I have done the dame thing on occasion when I need a break from difficult child. At least yours gets herslef up and ready for school. Right now I am battling even getting her up to go to school. We can't find the reason why she is getting 10 hours of sleep a night, and still cannot get up. I literally cannot get her up and out the door most mornings. So, if you just need to hide around the corner until you know she is gone, I say go for it. I am all for any type of sanity saver these days.

 

[buddy]

in my humble opinion, you are a SMART mom. You diffused a situation that could have made the day worse for you and her. good job!

 

[TiredSoul]

Human first - Mother second. I like that.