I am a bit scared and excited at the same timeI

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by rejectedmom, Dec 21, 2011.

  1. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    difficult child comes home tomorrow. We have a family meeting before his release and I'm told it will last about 2 hours. I am glad for that since there has been little imput from the facility as to what we should expect and how we can help him with his medications etc. This is going to be a real tricky thing for husband and I to not enable but still make easy child/difficult child's life managable. I am scared he will relapse. I am scared he will drink. I am scared he will not be accepted by his fellow employees when he tries to go back to work. I ned to get a support group for myself so will be checking out Alnon around here and maybe NAMI although we had a bad experience with them a few years back. Maybe it will be different since we have moved.

    I do not have everything ready for his homecomming but what is... is. We will just have to continue to plug away at things till we get it all done. He and husband can bring his bed over tomorrow afternoon. the rest can be moved during the week. I need to clean the house still for the family gathering on Saturday. Hopefully he and husband can help with that. I have most of my Christmas gifts wrapped, not as elaborately as in past years but they are wrapped LOL. I will be catering in some of the food for dinner Christmas eve. that is if I remember to order the platters tomorrow. I will cook prepared ravioli and salad and meatballs and end it with store bought baked goods. I went to our favorite Italian resturant yesterday to get the sauce but they didn't have it. I had called ahead and drove an hour for it but they didn't have it when I got there. I was angry but shrugged it off and went to the eye doctor next door instead. I had lost my glasses and he fit me in and did my exam and he called today to say my contacts came in. I am hoping my sister in law can pick them up for me tomorrow. I'll have him check for the sauce too if he does LOL.

    Anyway I am worried that easy child/difficult child might be overwhelmed at all the holiday fuss. I am going to tell him that it is OK to excuse himself and go upstairs if he is. if anyone has other suggestions they are appreciated.
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    That sounds like a great plan. You might also want to check with him (light-heartedly of course) throughout all the festivities. Just a simple "you doing okay buddy?" or even just keeping an eye on him for signs of something .... off...Know what I mean? and give him permission again to leave the area if he needs to.

    I understand your apprehension and hope that you are able to relax a little and enjoy the holidays. Who knows, everything might be just fine. I know....prepare for the worst....yada yada yada....Just don't get carried away with the "preparations". It will be what it will be.

    Happy Holidays to you.
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It is a wonderful idea to cater some of the food stuffs. I would do it too if we could afford it. Instead we are preparing just a minimalist meal because we really dont know who is going to be here. I think I will bake a cake or two and maybe a pie. Maybe cook a few sugar cookies that come in those packs so that if Keyana does come, she can paint them with that royal icing stuff you guys have talked about.
  4. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Maybe discuss ahead of time, some sort of subtle "stress signal" he can send you... sometimes, when they hit a stress point, we as the host/ess can make a switch in the setting that allows difficult child to slip away less noticed...
  5. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    You first - sounds like there have been a few snags in your plans but you handled them wonderfully - you will be the example for him to follow! You are obviously tuned into what could be triggers -- I like insanecdn's suggestion of a signal -- but I venture to guess you will be able to see it in his face.

    Wishing you and the family low stress and a happy holiday.

  6. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Thank you everyone. There has been a monkey wrench thrown into the soup. Please check out my new thread.