Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
I am a newbie...
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 230030" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>He certainly sounds like my son! Especially the negotiating.</p><p>I have found that if I negotiate with-my son, he must do the chores first before he gets the reward. Otherwise, he will find every excuse to get out of it, and he will have already reaped the benefits. Never, never, never let these kids get away with-that! It only gets worse.</p><p> </p><p>Here's an example. You said, "He got louder and more animated and was heading for a meltdown so we told him to go do what he wanted and if he screwed up and got in trouble too bad, so sad."</p><p> </p><p>You're giving in. </p><p>If he's headed for a meltdown, you send him to his room to be alone. No TV, maybe music, if it's soft. Tell him he's not in trouble, just that you all need to calm down. </p><p>If he's headed for a meltdown, you do NOT give in to his demands. </p><p>He is teaching you that he can win because you are afraid to confront his meltdowns.</p><p> </p><p>Read <strong>The Manipulative Child.</strong> It's great. It explains how we all try to avoid unpleasant behavior--the child tries to avoid chores, the parent tries to avoid conflict. Funny, the kids don't seem to mind ratcheting up their responses. They've got WAY more energy than we have and they can wear you down. You have to learn to be a Warrior Dad and stand firm. Not angry, just firm.</p><p>You don't do it all at once. Just one behavior at a time.</p><p> </p><p>I see so much of myself in your note!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 230030, member: 3419"] He certainly sounds like my son! Especially the negotiating. I have found that if I negotiate with-my son, he must do the chores first before he gets the reward. Otherwise, he will find every excuse to get out of it, and he will have already reaped the benefits. Never, never, never let these kids get away with-that! It only gets worse. Here's an example. You said, "He got louder and more animated and was heading for a meltdown so we told him to go do what he wanted and if he screwed up and got in trouble too bad, so sad." You're giving in. If he's headed for a meltdown, you send him to his room to be alone. No TV, maybe music, if it's soft. Tell him he's not in trouble, just that you all need to calm down. If he's headed for a meltdown, you do NOT give in to his demands. He is teaching you that he can win because you are afraid to confront his meltdowns. Read [B]The Manipulative Child.[/B] It's great. It explains how we all try to avoid unpleasant behavior--the child tries to avoid chores, the parent tries to avoid conflict. Funny, the kids don't seem to mind ratcheting up their responses. They've got WAY more energy than we have and they can wear you down. You have to learn to be a Warrior Dad and stand firm. Not angry, just firm. You don't do it all at once. Just one behavior at a time. I see so much of myself in your note!! [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
I am a newbie...
Top