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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 588017" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>ViVi, welcome. I am very sorry you are going through this drama with your daughter. You are not alone, many of us here have lived a similar story, it is very painful, sad and out of our control. I believe you are doing the right thing in asking her to leave. It's a hard road, but at 32 years of age, she is way old enough to know better. </p><p></p><p>Perhaps you look up the local woman shelters and provide her the addresses and put her clothes in a bag outside. You don't have to see her. You can also call the police if she gets violent of abusive. If you see her be very prepared for the onslaught of MAJOR manipulations to get you to feel sorry for her and to give her what she wants. Most of our kids are masters at that. Hold your ground, it is the only way you will ever get your life back and find some semblance of peace. Otherwise you will simply be held hostage by her crazy making continuing dramas. </p><p></p><p>My advice to you is to get yourself some serious support. This is a pattern you and your daughter have perfected over many years, it will be very difficult for you to break it. You will need some professional support and tools to learn how to detach and to accept what you cannot change. Your daughter sounds as if she may be an alcoholic. You cannot change her, nor can you help her. She has to help herself. And, what I believe is the truth is that as long as you allow her to live in your home and you withstand all the abuse from her, she will NEVER change. The only person who can change this is YOU. And, it is hard to do. Which is why I recommend a therapist to help you. </p><p></p><p>You may want to read the article at the bottom of my post on detachment, it's helpful. I'm very glad you found us, there are many wonderful parents here who will give you support and offer the knowledge that you are not alone. Keep posting, it really helps. I'm truly sorry you are going through this and I hope you seek help for YOU so that you can begin to heal from your daughter's bad choices. I wish you peace.............</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 588017, member: 13542"] ViVi, welcome. I am very sorry you are going through this drama with your daughter. You are not alone, many of us here have lived a similar story, it is very painful, sad and out of our control. I believe you are doing the right thing in asking her to leave. It's a hard road, but at 32 years of age, she is way old enough to know better. Perhaps you look up the local woman shelters and provide her the addresses and put her clothes in a bag outside. You don't have to see her. You can also call the police if she gets violent of abusive. If you see her be very prepared for the onslaught of MAJOR manipulations to get you to feel sorry for her and to give her what she wants. Most of our kids are masters at that. Hold your ground, it is the only way you will ever get your life back and find some semblance of peace. Otherwise you will simply be held hostage by her crazy making continuing dramas. My advice to you is to get yourself some serious support. This is a pattern you and your daughter have perfected over many years, it will be very difficult for you to break it. You will need some professional support and tools to learn how to detach and to accept what you cannot change. Your daughter sounds as if she may be an alcoholic. You cannot change her, nor can you help her. She has to help herself. And, what I believe is the truth is that as long as you allow her to live in your home and you withstand all the abuse from her, she will NEVER change. The only person who can change this is YOU. And, it is hard to do. Which is why I recommend a therapist to help you. You may want to read the article at the bottom of my post on detachment, it's helpful. I'm very glad you found us, there are many wonderful parents here who will give you support and offer the knowledge that you are not alone. Keep posting, it really helps. I'm truly sorry you are going through this and I hope you seek help for YOU so that you can begin to heal from your daughter's bad choices. I wish you peace............. [/QUOTE]
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