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<blockquote data-quote="Tiredof33" data-source="post: 588203" data-attributes="member: 13558"><p>It is extremely difficult and my BiPolar (BP) was through the roof. I find that the 'average' person just doesn't understand the toll it takes on us. A 38yo was in trouble in my area due to drugs, alcohol, and poor choices, all I kept hearing was, 'where is his family?'. </p><p></p><p>As RC posted it does get easier as we step back and let them live their lives and take control of ours again. I have so many friends and family members dealing with difficult children and the same pattern will continue if you let it.</p><p></p><p>It's hard to understand (at first anyway) that we are doing them just as much harm as oursleves by enabling them. The many books on enabing and codependence are a great help. I also have to come back and reread some of the posts and well as reread some of the books when I start to second guess my decison to step back and live my own life. I have days where I still play the 'what if' and 'what did I do wrong' game, but overall I am much more at peace without the constant daily drama. Remember the only actions that you can control are yours. </p><p></p><p>(((huggs and blessings for us all)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiredof33, post: 588203, member: 13558"] It is extremely difficult and my BiPolar (BP) was through the roof. I find that the 'average' person just doesn't understand the toll it takes on us. A 38yo was in trouble in my area due to drugs, alcohol, and poor choices, all I kept hearing was, 'where is his family?'. As RC posted it does get easier as we step back and let them live their lives and take control of ours again. I have so many friends and family members dealing with difficult children and the same pattern will continue if you let it. It's hard to understand (at first anyway) that we are doing them just as much harm as oursleves by enabling them. The many books on enabing and codependence are a great help. I also have to come back and reread some of the posts and well as reread some of the books when I start to second guess my decison to step back and live my own life. I have days where I still play the 'what if' and 'what did I do wrong' game, but overall I am much more at peace without the constant daily drama. Remember the only actions that you can control are yours. (((huggs and blessings for us all))) [/QUOTE]
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