difficult child is "home" until he "goes back to school" on Friday. Except he is still suspended from school and he is going back to an apartment to room with two losers who are in school and difficult child has no job lined up. I stressed to him that I thought it was an unrealistic plan-that perhaps he should stay home & work, pay his rent there but live here and relieve himself of living expenses and continue at his current job . He bristled, said he had a plan and needs to stick with his plan and I dropped it. That was Tuesday. Wednesday, we drove together 1-1/2 to and from pc15's fb game and he told me about his desire to get back into school, what he wants to major in, career goals etc. He was as though the last year never happened. Like a kid who has it together. But he is clueless and completely unrealistic. Sure, it *could* work if he were driven, studious, self disciplined. (But even under the best circumstances, his plan is unrealistic.) Plus, he is none of those things. (he was once) And he has a huge burden of tuition, living expenses, a deficient gpa and he is still suspended from school! But I zipped my lip. He talked about other school options, major options. I gave suggestions- he dissed his own school and many suggestions as "too this", "not enough that"- a weird snobbery coming from a kid who failed out! Then he said his Grad school choice would probably be more important. The kid has a 1.4 GPA and 28 credits and has dropped out of school- and is talking as though he is the 3.0 college junior he was supposed to be... Aggghh He talked about getting a job at XXXX - in college town fir the year and I told him that they have a strict drug testing policy. He claims to be clean. I don't know But we kept the conversation pleasant and mostly light. I did not express my many reservations (been there done that), and I truly enjoyed his company. He was great at the game and with easy child. Last night, he came home late from work. I fed him pizza and wings and he told me he had to start making a list of things he needs to get before he goes "back to school" on Friday. I wanted to scream "YOU DONT GO TO SCHOOL" but instead, I rummaged around for some of the things on his list so he wouldn't need to buy them. (toiletries mostly) As he ate, he talked about the taxes taken out of his check and I asked him how much Fed & State taxes were being with-held and he showed me his check stub. I explained he would likely be refunded his withholdings at tax tine as he will fall under the limit. In the meantime, I see that he has TAKEN HOME over $4500 this summer yet he has only paid $250 of his past due tuition (2k) which is why he can't enroll this semester. Does that sound like a kid who is motivated to get back into school? Lip still zipped. He did mentioned that he probably won't get a job with XXXX, he hadn't realized they were more than 4 miles away on the highway.(he has no transportation, the cynic in me wonders if it's the drug testing) I wonder to myself why he is going back to college town without any chance of enrolling and with no job. Out loud, I say something supportive. He stayed home last night. He, his brothers and I sprawled on the couch together and watched HungerGames and a bit of SNL. The boys ate ice cream and bantered and I took a mental picture of us together and thought "this is what I prayed for, this is what I want." I went to bed and loved listening to them chatting & laughing as I fell asleep. Yet, I know these family moments are contingent upon me being an ostrich. And being an ostrich is what got me into this situation. And I know it's wrong. I am playing with fire-trying to be there for the part of him who is my son yet trying not to enable the difficult child. So, I will give him toiletries but I won't pay his tuition or his living expenses while he is gone. I don't know what I am doing. And I am sticking my head in the sand so I can have my family back.