DDD
Well-Known Member
I have been a cigarette smoker since my early teens. The last time I quit was fourteen years ago +or- a few months and I got over the addiction until two or three years ago when I had all the family come for a reunion/birthday party for my husband combined with the annual fund raiser that I have been Chairman of for four or five years. The stress was literally "overwhelming" and I convince myself that "one" cigarette would be therapeutic. As soon as I inhaled that first (suppose to be only) cigarette...my body and my mind relaxed. It was like the release on a pressure valve. I no longer had to struggle with the stress. I had relief.
Now it has been two or three years and I have fourteen days with-o a cigarette. I WANT a cigarette. I WANT to pop one of the nicorette pills to help me. I completely "know" that I need to fight this demon with-o pills. I am drinking Cutty LOL but even though I have mentioned Cutty for ten years or so I am NOT addicted to Cutty in any way. My addiction is nicotene.
Why am I posting? I'm posting because the kid I love more than life itself is an alcoholic who can smoke pot and "chill out" with-o his addiction which is booze. I spend alot of time hoping and praying that he can have a normal life and here I am miserable because I can't have a "legal" cigarette to halp me thru the stresses. I'm not sure what the "message" is tonight. I guess the message is that I do actually admire myself and I admire that I have fought so hard to "save" my difficult child's for almost fifty years and yet.........here I am....fighting the urge to just have "one" cigarette. Very scarey. DDD
Now it has been two or three years and I have fourteen days with-o a cigarette. I WANT a cigarette. I WANT to pop one of the nicorette pills to help me. I completely "know" that I need to fight this demon with-o pills. I am drinking Cutty LOL but even though I have mentioned Cutty for ten years or so I am NOT addicted to Cutty in any way. My addiction is nicotene.
Why am I posting? I'm posting because the kid I love more than life itself is an alcoholic who can smoke pot and "chill out" with-o his addiction which is booze. I spend alot of time hoping and praying that he can have a normal life and here I am miserable because I can't have a "legal" cigarette to halp me thru the stresses. I'm not sure what the "message" is tonight. I guess the message is that I do actually admire myself and I admire that I have fought so hard to "save" my difficult child's for almost fifty years and yet.........here I am....fighting the urge to just have "one" cigarette. Very scarey. DDD