I am getting more and more upset over the buck situation
- Thread starter DammitJanet
- Start date
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Signorina
Guest
I agree 100%. You should not feel ill at ease in your own home
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
Well Tony says he IS pretty much illiterate when I made complaints so I guess I have to cut him some slack and that his comments about not reading are probably a way to save face with me. I really do find this confusing since he went to 12th grade but he did repeat 12th grade so maybe so. He didnt graduate though. Tony was the first person in his family to graduate HS.
One thing we are going to have to do, and Tony is in support of me in this, is going to have to put up meal charts for the week and what ingredients go into those meals. We do buy some extra cheap stuff he can eat during the day for breakfast and lunch because we realize he does need to eat but he simply cannot graze through our ingredients for dinners. Last night we found out that he had eaten things we needed for our dinner that we had thought we had. I had bought 2 10 packs of flour tortilla shells and he had eaten one whole pack of one of them except leaving one tortilla shell in one pack. I was shocked! I turned on Tony and said...WTH? Tony tried to blame it on Billy when Buck spoke up and said he had been using them to put eggs in them and what ever. I was ticked. What was I supposed to do at the last minute?
I also went absolutely off on him because I have been telling him since he got here about him chopping ice out of bottles of water every day with knives. I bought two very nice and expensive knives for Tony for xmas. I got them on sale for $40 but the regular price was $80. They are self sharpening and they are supposed to be kept in this sheath that has this sharpening stone inside the sheath. It is bright orange and is very easy to see setting on my counter. I tell him daily to keep the knives in those sheaths. He never does. He wants to use those knives to chop at the ice. I catch him and yell at him. Tonight Tony was attempting to slice my tomatoes and he noticed my smaller knife was bent and not as sharp. He commented on it and Buck tried to say he hadnt bent the tip. I went off. I told him he was going to replace the knives. Tony asked him why he didnt just use the knives that Tony told him he could use or do it the way I had told him to do it? Buck just shrugged. I told him if I caught him using my orange knives again, he was gonna be thrown out of my house right then.
One thing we are going to have to do, and Tony is in support of me in this, is going to have to put up meal charts for the week and what ingredients go into those meals. We do buy some extra cheap stuff he can eat during the day for breakfast and lunch because we realize he does need to eat but he simply cannot graze through our ingredients for dinners. Last night we found out that he had eaten things we needed for our dinner that we had thought we had. I had bought 2 10 packs of flour tortilla shells and he had eaten one whole pack of one of them except leaving one tortilla shell in one pack. I was shocked! I turned on Tony and said...WTH? Tony tried to blame it on Billy when Buck spoke up and said he had been using them to put eggs in them and what ever. I was ticked. What was I supposed to do at the last minute?
I also went absolutely off on him because I have been telling him since he got here about him chopping ice out of bottles of water every day with knives. I bought two very nice and expensive knives for Tony for xmas. I got them on sale for $40 but the regular price was $80. They are self sharpening and they are supposed to be kept in this sheath that has this sharpening stone inside the sheath. It is bright orange and is very easy to see setting on my counter. I tell him daily to keep the knives in those sheaths. He never does. He wants to use those knives to chop at the ice. I catch him and yell at him. Tonight Tony was attempting to slice my tomatoes and he noticed my smaller knife was bent and not as sharp. He commented on it and Buck tried to say he hadnt bent the tip. I went off. I told him he was going to replace the knives. Tony asked him why he didnt just use the knives that Tony told him he could use or do it the way I had told him to do it? Buck just shrugged. I told him if I caught him using my orange knives again, he was gonna be thrown out of my house right then.
hearts and roses
Mind Reader
Sounds like Tony is beginning to notice how Buck's presence is bad for not only you, but him as well. Hmmmm, maybe in time this will work itself out? On the meantime, keep standing your ground, make that meal plan, put Buck in his place as necessary and help get that paper trail going!
Hound dog
Nana's are Beautiful
Buck is a difficult child, and there is nothing worse than an adult difficult child, especially if they're not related to you. These little things will begin to add up. (I know for you it already has) Sounds as if Tony is beginning to see a glimmer as to how this might not have been such a hot idea.
The illiterate part doesn't surprise me, even if he made it to his senior year in HS. I know people who managed to graduate who couldn't read much above the first / second grade level. Despite katie's claims, M can read, he just does it very poorly........and I do mean poorly and he can't spell at all. He's probably around a first / second grade level......although the 2nd grade part is probably pushing it.
Hopefully this doesn't go on too long.
((hugs))
The illiterate part doesn't surprise me, even if he made it to his senior year in HS. I know people who managed to graduate who couldn't read much above the first / second grade level. Despite katie's claims, M can read, he just does it very poorly........and I do mean poorly and he can't spell at all. He's probably around a first / second grade level......although the 2nd grade part is probably pushing it.
Hopefully this doesn't go on too long.
((hugs))
tiredmommy
Well-Known Member
You may want to print off images of labels or pics of the actual ingredients for the meal plan if you suspect he can't read. 
donna723
Well-Known Member
About the groceries, could you maybe buy some of those little stickers, the ones that are just peel-off dots in different colors, like the ones the Walmart greeters stick on your umbrella when you go in? You could color-code your groceries when you put them away. Even Buck could understand that he is allowed to eat anything with a green dot on it but heaven help him if he eats something with a red dot because that is something needed for a meal you are planning!
DDD
Well-Known Member
Geez, Donna, you are sharper than I am. I can't believe in one post I suggested he was illiterate and then suggested posting a list of meals for the week. Hmmm...not too bright here, lol. Your sticker idea makes a heck of alot more sense.
In answer to "what am I suppose to make" Janet, I really think you should simply pull out cans of soup or eggs for dinner and then quietly say "we were going to have meatloaf but the meat is gone, sigh". That will make a direct impact on everyone. Tony will be deprived of what he wants and needs and Buck will be facing the obvious at meal time. DDD
In answer to "what am I suppose to make" Janet, I really think you should simply pull out cans of soup or eggs for dinner and then quietly say "we were going to have meatloaf but the meat is gone, sigh". That will make a direct impact on everyone. Tony will be deprived of what he wants and needs and Buck will be facing the obvious at meal time. DDD
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Signorina
Guest
I think a sharpie marker and an X on all the things he cannot eat (because they are meant for a meal) is the easiest solution.
No "X" and it's aok to eat. If necessary write a number on the box -box of 8 pop tarts & he can have 2 -write 2 on the box. Dozen eggs & he can have 4-write 4 on the carton etc.
It would drive me bananas-and I would lose it. Kitchen is mamas domain here.
H and I had some battles when he started working from home & my meal items disappeared for his lunch! Or he would plow thru the leftovers I had planned to feed the kids on busy nights. Epic battles lol
No "X" and it's aok to eat. If necessary write a number on the box -box of 8 pop tarts & he can have 2 -write 2 on the box. Dozen eggs & he can have 4-write 4 on the carton etc.
It would drive me bananas-and I would lose it. Kitchen is mamas domain here.
H and I had some battles when he started working from home & my meal items disappeared for his lunch! Or he would plow thru the leftovers I had planned to feed the kids on busy nights. Epic battles lol
hearts and roses
Mind Reader
What great ideas you're getting here! Wow! H has a habit of using ingredients I'm saving for a particular meal, but since I've been out of commission, I think he's beginning to understand how frustrating it is to plan a meal and then discover you don't have what you need!
I think you should serve cold cereal - with milk if there is any left, without if Buck drank ti all - for dinner when Buck has eaten all the ingredients. THe whole big sigh, this is what we have for dinner now Tony. Buck ate this and this and this and this and this and this and we just don't have anything left.
If you have a camera on your phone and you can print out a picture from the computer, take a picture of those knives that he has ruined, take a picture every time they are on the counter not in the sheath, and of every toher thing he is destroying and post the photos in your room where Tony will see them when he uses the bathroom or gets up or whatever. Keep adding to the wall of things Buck has destroyed and before long Tony will start being as ****** about the cost of a Buck in your house as your are. Be SURE to ptu the $$ value of each item that Buck destroys on the picture. I would be SOOOOOOOOOOOO tempted to set a $$ amt ($2000 or $400 or whatever is your abso max you are willing to spend on him) and make one of those thermometers that groups use to show how much they have raised toward a goal. Where you color in up to a line to show $100 or $200 or whatever (our United Way and many toher fundraising groups use these to help raise $$) and it would show exactly how much Buck has cost you. LIke the $180 in grocereis that he ate $150 of in 3 days? That would go on with a picture fo all the trash from the empty packages.
It would be a visual to help get Tony to live in the real world and to realize that as long as he allows Buck to mooch, then Tony won 't be able to afford a dr for his problems and those are SERIOUS so Buck needs to go.
For meals I would NOT use color coding. Buck will be "confused" or he will just move the dots from what he wants andput on the color that says he can have it - then YOU will get blamed for markign it wrong. Put an X on anythng he cannot have. Give him a drawer and he can ONLY eat what is in that drawer. Put the X on everything else (even every egg because a number on the package assumes he can count. He will take 4 eggs now, and 4 in 2 hrs and 4 2 hrs after that because it said 4 and he "forgot". So put an x on each egg or indiv item that he cannot have. Then TAKE PICTURES OF EVERYTHING YOU PUT AN X ON. It will get to that point, so go there now with your smartphone. Document the date, and show the x's so you have PROOF because Buck will try to tell Tony that you didn't have an X where he could see it or you didn't have it there at all. So document NOW.
If you have a camera on your phone and you can print out a picture from the computer, take a picture of those knives that he has ruined, take a picture every time they are on the counter not in the sheath, and of every toher thing he is destroying and post the photos in your room where Tony will see them when he uses the bathroom or gets up or whatever. Keep adding to the wall of things Buck has destroyed and before long Tony will start being as ****** about the cost of a Buck in your house as your are. Be SURE to ptu the $$ value of each item that Buck destroys on the picture. I would be SOOOOOOOOOOOO tempted to set a $$ amt ($2000 or $400 or whatever is your abso max you are willing to spend on him) and make one of those thermometers that groups use to show how much they have raised toward a goal. Where you color in up to a line to show $100 or $200 or whatever (our United Way and many toher fundraising groups use these to help raise $$) and it would show exactly how much Buck has cost you. LIke the $180 in grocereis that he ate $150 of in 3 days? That would go on with a picture fo all the trash from the empty packages.
It would be a visual to help get Tony to live in the real world and to realize that as long as he allows Buck to mooch, then Tony won 't be able to afford a dr for his problems and those are SERIOUS so Buck needs to go.
For meals I would NOT use color coding. Buck will be "confused" or he will just move the dots from what he wants andput on the color that says he can have it - then YOU will get blamed for markign it wrong. Put an X on anythng he cannot have. Give him a drawer and he can ONLY eat what is in that drawer. Put the X on everything else (even every egg because a number on the package assumes he can count. He will take 4 eggs now, and 4 in 2 hrs and 4 2 hrs after that because it said 4 and he "forgot". So put an x on each egg or indiv item that he cannot have. Then TAKE PICTURES OF EVERYTHING YOU PUT AN X ON. It will get to that point, so go there now with your smartphone. Document the date, and show the x's so you have PROOF because Buck will try to tell Tony that you didn't have an X where he could see it or you didn't have it there at all. So document NOW.
H
HaoZi
Guest
Awwww Star, and here I thought you were going to say nothing says sees ya later like (cold shoulder of) alligator.
Star*
call 911........call 911
Sounds like we can all help Janet pull a menu together -
Just FYI Haozi - Gater is pretty good eating. Now I'm not too sure about Gater shoulder - but tail is delicious. And my Dad used to make a rattlesnake meat spaghetti sauce that was wonderful. OMG - TONGUE - THAT's Mondays menu -
BOILED TONGUE - Rocky mountain oysters, and tripe with hot sauce.
Just FYI Haozi - Gater is pretty good eating. Now I'm not too sure about Gater shoulder - but tail is delicious. And my Dad used to make a rattlesnake meat spaghetti sauce that was wonderful. OMG - TONGUE - THAT's Mondays menu -
BOILED TONGUE - Rocky mountain oysters, and tripe with hot sauce.
H
HaoZi
Guest
I know gator tail is pretty good, he might stick around for that, so I wouldn't suggest it, lol!
