I am getting more and more upset over the buck situation

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful
Ohhh good suggestions. I have one better.

Cow brains. And yes, you can get them at the store although you have to ask. Not only do they look distinctively disgusting, the smell is indescribable. Mom pulled it on us when I was about 5 or 6 and I still can call up both the sights and aroma of that meal. And I did NOT eat it. I was the only one. I'd noticed she didn't eat any. lol

Head cheese is another good one. The appearance alone might send him running.

But I do like the road kill idea............um, since Tony hunts you're bound to have certain skins around or know someone who does..........a little creativity might convince someone what's in the pot is fresh roadkill if you can't find any fresh. lol
 
H

HaoZi

Guest
Of course if Tony grew up hunting to help put food on the table, roadkill might be considered tre' gormet, too. No lead to remove, after all!
 

donna723

Well-Known Member
Now all you have to do is convince him that "dinner" is something you peeled off the yellow line on the road! The grocery budget is getting tight you know, with an extra mouth to feed ... and feed and feed and feed.

And here you can actually buy brains in the grocery store. I'm not sure if they're from cows or pigs but they come in a can and they're in the section with the other canned meats like tuna and salmon. It turns my stomach just to look at the cans but someone must buy the stuff because they still stock it. Must be a southern thing. I've heard of people mixing them in with scrambled eggs. Bleeech!
Here's hoping that you can boot Buck out the door pretty soon! :kickedoutsmile:
 

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful
LOL donna, best place to get them is to ask the people in the meat dept and pick it up fresh. More impact that way.

Canned, huh? ewww And yes, people mix it with scrambled eggs, so I hear. Mom's idea of serving it was a practical joke... It didn't go over well. lol
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
Do you people not remember from where these people came? They ate head cheese, pigs brains, fish roe, snake, anything they could kill and Im sure road kill wasnt off the menu if it was fresh. These people were extremely poor and one winter all they lived off of was beans and cabbage and the only reason they had the cabbage was because they grew it. They didnt even have indoor plumbing until the last house they lived in.

Tonight Tony cooked some of his deer meat with some of the rice I buy. I dont like cooking rice from scratch. I am lazy and I simply dont like watching it. I buy the boil in the bag rice. Its simply easier for me. Well we normally make two bags for Tony, me and Billy. Tony made 3 bags considering we had Buck. Each bag is supposed have 3 servings in it but we are bigger eaters of course. Tony walked over and noticed that Buck was opening 2 bags of rice and putting them on his plate alone! Tony stopped him immediately and said...hey...what are you doing? Normally we split 2 bags between 3 people. No way are you getting 2 bags just for you! You can have one bag but the other two bags are split between the rest of us! Buck was just laughing and saying well you know I get hungry. WTH. At least Tony put him in his place that time.

I had Tony go over the paperwork plus Billy told Buck he could take him around tomorrow. Buck said he would go if he felt like it. He better feel like getting a move on. So far he is far too comfortable. Tony made a comment about moving him into a neighbor's old trailer that is about 50 feet from our house but it has no electricity and no water or bathroom/kitchen in it which would mean he would have to come to our room for all those things. He could put a hot plate and microwave out there and I am sure I could find a small fridge for him but still he would have to come here to use the bathroom and shower plus he would have to run a drop cord from my house for all power. Nope, I am not supplying his power because that still means I am supporting him. I want him to go apply for low income house plus go apply for his indian card which would help him get benefits here too. He wants to refuse to do that because it would mean he had to do that based on his bioparents. He cant do it based on his adopted parents. That wont work. He says he wants nothing to do with his bio's but they are actually from here! Sigh. He makes things so much harder than things have to be.
 

hearts and roses

Mind Reader
I'm glad Tony noticed and said something. It's great that Tony is also thinking up alternative living for Buck!

Buck is a real waste of skin and air. Lazy slacker.
 

DDD

Well-Known Member
Thanks for sharing that you can buy brains at the store, Donna. Now all I have to do is figure out how to do an "at home" transplant and I might return to the smart thing I used to be! :) DDD
 

DaisyFace

Love me...Love me not
JMHO, but I don't think Buck is the kind of guy that will take a "hint"....I would also not expect him to abide by any kind of stickers, color coding, lists or what-not in regards to food.

I think you need to address every issue bluntly, to his face, using small sentences.

"Buck - stop eating all our food."
"Buck - go fill out your paperwork."
"Buck - clean up your mess."

That sort of thing...
 

TerryJ2

Well-Known Member
I agree, it sounds like Buck needs straight talk. Good for Tony. Sounds like you are being way too subtle, Janet, and letting it eat away at you.
Many hugs. :hugs:
 

witzend

Well-Known Member
Oh, Janet - I know this is Tony's brother, but you don't owe him this. Tony doesn't owe him this. Personally, I'd be ready to bop Tony in the nose for allowing his brother to come before your wishes on it. You and Tony need to set a date certain that Buck will be gone, come hell or high water. Hopefully Buck will figure out something other than the homeless shelter before then, but he won't necessarily do that, and it's not your problem. I haven't read all of the responses, so I probably missed a bit. Is Tony being reasonable about your feelings? If he were my husband with his brother in my house, they'd all know that Mama ain't happy until this situation gets resolved.

It sounds to me like that grown man ain't ever planning to leave your couch.
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
Well I dont think he plans on leaving either but I think Tony is beginning to get that idea too. I have gotten in the really bad habit of staying up all night so that I am awake when Tony gets up at 4 am and we can have about half an hour together then I normally take my morning medications and fall asleep after turning on morning shows.

This morning I was woken up at 9 am because my little dog was barking in the house. I new everyone except Tony was here so I was a bit shocked and thought maybe it was later and maybe someone was here so I got up. Billy was up too and let the dog out. At 9 am, Buck still wasnt up! Now last night I know he was out of my living room before 11 so I have no idea why he wasnt up earlier. He didnt get up when Tony got up either. Billy had told him if he was up this morning then he would take him around but Buck was just so iffy about it. Well one of Billy's friends called him and asked him to go out so Billy asked Buck if he planned to go out with him today and he got a "naw, I dont think so" so Billy headed to the beach.

I tried to go back to sleep after getting woken up at 9 something. Actually by the time that was all over it was 10. I ended up not falling back asleep until about 11:30 and then he started banging around in the living room doing something and woke me back up. Thats okay, I need to go out and figure out what we need for groceries, go to the pharmacy, and make my meal plan.
 
S

Signorina

Guest
Arghhhh
He's acting like an insolent 15 yo difficult child, so start treating him like one. Instead of asking him what he would like to do - start telling him what to do.

I know you don't want to be the one to take him to do this stuff, but it might be a necessary evil. I would tell Buck you are going to do it together tomorrow and about 1/2 hour before you want to leave - tell him to get ready to go. And I would take the scenic route past the homelss shelter and point it out to him...

Don't give him any choices.
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
We dont have any homeless shelters in our town. That is one of the problems I really had when Tony brought him down here. Once he came, we were stuck. Now my living room is full of all his junk. I am really so mad at Tony now because I found out that he could have gone into a sober living place connected to the one is girlfriend is living in but he didnt want to do that. He doesnt think he needs it and besides that, he cant have her over if he lives in sober living. Well he cant have her here either! Of course I dont think she even wants to come anyway.
 

DDD

Well-Known Member
Keep you eye on the ball, Janet. The goal is to get Buck out on his own. Try your best to keep Tony connected to you by only speaking up when you have to. You want Tony to learn that the two of you are the focus for the future. If you give Tony reason to "buck" (aren't I funny with my puns, lol) that will be playing into Buck's game plan. Hugs DDD
 

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful
Janet

You have no idea how I am admiring your patience with this.

Now you know we're teeny here. I stuck katie and M clear up in Dayton at first if you remember, just to keep them OUT of the house. Check with some other counties/towns nearby. There has to be one somewhere, and I'm sure once you get Buck out you're not going to be wanting him back for visits anyway.

I agree with the Don't ask, TELL him policy. I know he's an adult, but he's acting like a child. I had to do this when dealing with katie and M. If I'd have asked them to do anything, they'd still be sleeping with the kids in the diningroom. I had to tell them what to do, when it was going to be done, and how to do it, then stand over them to make sure they did it.......if it wasn't done right, I made them do it again.

As for that sleeping in nonsense...........I'd have to look up how to purchase things such as itching powder and the like. ugh (Molly was enough to motivate M to not want to over stay....or to return, she bit him in the rear the last time he was here. lol )

And I'd be asking Tony about giving him some jobs to do around the place for room and board. That is a reasonable request. If he does it, great. If not, it drives it home to Tony faster that he's just freeloading.

((hugs))
 

donna723

Well-Known Member
I hope Tony will soon catch on that Buck has no intention of doing anything other than what he's doing ... sitting on his butt, eating up your groceries, and letting you support him! Does Tony know that Buck was given the opportunity to go look for a job today but turned it down? Somebody should tell him! He needs to know this stuff! If given the choice, Buck is going to choose to sit in front of the TV and NOT look for a job or turn in that paperwork for services! If it was me, I wouldn't give him the choice, just tell him to load up, then put him out at every fast food joint, grocery store, or restaurant in town to ask for a job! Have you talked about giving him a deadline when he has to be out? Right now he has no reason to do anything! He's got it made!

You know, I have the feeling that sooner or later Tony is going to realize that his brother has no intention of finding a job or doing anything to help himself and plans to freeload off of him for the rest of his life! And when he does, it won't be pretty! I would think that as hard as Tony works and with all his health problems making it even more difficult for him, when he finally realizes that his brother expects to just sit in front of the TV all day while he supports him ... he's going to explode and I wouldn't blame him! If he's already starting to notice things, maybe it's just a matter of time ...
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
I do think its beginning to become noticeable to Tony. I made up my weekly menu (dont know if I already said that) and I listed everything on it. What the meals were, what the ingredients were that were needed for those meals. Then I had a list on the side that gave foods that were available for breakfasts and lunches and snacks. I put on there that if it wasnt on the list for breakfasts, lunches or snacks, then he wasnt to eat it unless he ran it by me. I did put some decent things on there. I understand he has to eat because of his medications and the diabetes. I have eggs, grits, canned biscuits with canned sausage gravy, chef boyrdee stuff, some animal cracker cookies, applesauce cups, pbj, bread.

I normally dont eat like that at all during the day. I normally eat maybe a sandwich or a can of vienna sausages and a can of fruit...max. I never get up and eat breakfast and lunch before cooking dinner too. He eats a full breakfast, a full lunch then a snack sometime during the afternoon, then a HUGE dinner of at least two large servings and then he is looking for a snack before bedtime. If I ate that much I would weigh 500 pounds.

I had to go out today to get MORE groceries and pick up some of my prescriptions and when I got back home I asked him if he had called any of the clinics I had asked him to call sometime last week. This was probably about 4:30 and I had just noticed the time and thought Oh *^%*, I bet he hasnt done that. He only came with 30 days of medicine and I know it can take weeks to get an appointment!

He told me he hadnt called the clinic so I made him call. He got his packet of papers out and couldnt find the name in any sort of timely manner so I simply got out my phone and looked up the number myself...lol. By the time I was on hold with the clinic I was over there looking at his papers and found his paper and told him to call another number to see if he could get in without being on hold to another clinic. He couldnt manage that on his own...sigh. Finally I got a live person, and it will still be a problem because he needs proof that he has no income and he has never sent off the income verification form that social services gave him 2 weeks ago! I really gave him the what for over that one. I asked him why he was holding on to it and hadnt mailed it. He said he thought social services was just gonna call Burger King and have them fax the stuff. I told him if they gave him a form they expected him to send it out. They arent going to do all your work for you. Now this waiting is going to cost you time. I also explained to him how his going to food stamps on that late date in January is going to mess up his stamps. He was like..oh, I didnt know. I said well, if you had asked Tony, he would have told you to ask me about what to do about anything to do about social services because I am the expert on that seeing as how I worked there forever and I day. But oh well, you did it on your own and screwed up and nothing you can do now. There is an off chance that since he has failed to turn all his junk in on time they wont even start his stuff until February anyway. Lets hope.

I would love to attempt to get him into Fayetteville. I looked into placements there but Tony just isnt listening to me on that front. I have a call into one place that is supposed to let me know if they get an opening in their facility. I think it would be perfect for him. They help homeless men and women find jobs, get started with services in the area, get training if needed, learn bus routes because that city has a bus and we dont, and they can live there for up to two years.

Tony did tell me he is going to attempt to get him on working drywall where he works. I cant see that working out well. Buck is pretty much lazy and doesnt move fast at all. He has told me he has really bad hips. If Tony pushes Cory out to give Buck Cory's job, I will pitch one hell of a fit.
 
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