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I am getting more and more upset over the buck situation
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 507231" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Janet, I know this is the last thing you want to do..........and I totally get why it is.........but I'm thinking you're going to have to sit down and do that paperwork with him for foodstamps or any other services he might qualify for, as well as hunt down HUD places or low rent places or whatever where he can go. I know this was a line in the sand for you. BUT......like when katie was here the first time.....if I hadn't dragged her everywhere she needed to go and either hovered over her while she filed stuff or did it for her.........she'd have <strong>never</strong> left our home. I did it for the sole purpose of getting her <strong>out</strong> as fast as possible. What she did once she was out was her problem because I'd already made up my mind she'd not be back.</p><p></p><p>This is obviously the situation you're in with Buck. He's right where he wants to be, being supported by other people, doesn't have to do a think all day except laze around eating and watching tv or whatever. If you want him out, I think you're going to have to drag him through the steps to leaving. Stinks to high heaven, and I don't blame you for not wanting to do it, but I see no other way to get him out of there. </p><p></p><p>Hmm. Now that I think of it, I had to do it this last time with Katie too, only I was already onto her game and it didn't take me months to get her out of here. </p><p></p><p>Moochers like Buck and Katie never leave on their own. They have to be forced out. </p><p></p><p>You're dealing with a ton of passive aggressive here. You're going to have to passive aggressive right back. Also, if you're actively trying to get the paperwork done ect and then he refuses.......(and I'd make a big deal about oh I'm going to help buck do such and such to Tony by the way) then it's on him and Tony will see much more quickly what is really going on. </p><p></p><p>I went head to head with Fred over Katie. At first she was just his poor little girl who had been homeless, who was pregnant with a young baby and how could I possibly think of putting her out! I spent all day long hunting for programs that would make her independent.......even found one that taught her how to drive for free, state gave her a car, so I didn't have to drive her around everywhere. (I don't think either program is available anymore) I made the calls and pulled strings to get her into the HUD apartments, I sat in her welfare meetings and did the request for her to get her GED for free, ect. It didn't take but several weeks for Fred to figure out that she just sat on the couch watching tv eating us out of house and home while I was doing all the work. That ticked him off because it hit him he might be stuck with her forever like her grandfather was with her biomom and he switched sides quick. lol </p><p></p><p>It's obvious buck is not going to do this own his own. He doesn't want independence, he wants someone to take care of him. </p><p></p><p>As for the personal space thing..................oh, yeah. Totally get it. </p><p></p><p>((hugs))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 507231, member: 84"] Janet, I know this is the last thing you want to do..........and I totally get why it is.........but I'm thinking you're going to have to sit down and do that paperwork with him for foodstamps or any other services he might qualify for, as well as hunt down HUD places or low rent places or whatever where he can go. I know this was a line in the sand for you. BUT......like when katie was here the first time.....if I hadn't dragged her everywhere she needed to go and either hovered over her while she filed stuff or did it for her.........she'd have [B]never[/B] left our home. I did it for the sole purpose of getting her [B]out[/B] as fast as possible. What she did once she was out was her problem because I'd already made up my mind she'd not be back. This is obviously the situation you're in with Buck. He's right where he wants to be, being supported by other people, doesn't have to do a think all day except laze around eating and watching tv or whatever. If you want him out, I think you're going to have to drag him through the steps to leaving. Stinks to high heaven, and I don't blame you for not wanting to do it, but I see no other way to get him out of there. Hmm. Now that I think of it, I had to do it this last time with Katie too, only I was already onto her game and it didn't take me months to get her out of here. Moochers like Buck and Katie never leave on their own. They have to be forced out. You're dealing with a ton of passive aggressive here. You're going to have to passive aggressive right back. Also, if you're actively trying to get the paperwork done ect and then he refuses.......(and I'd make a big deal about oh I'm going to help buck do such and such to Tony by the way) then it's on him and Tony will see much more quickly what is really going on. I went head to head with Fred over Katie. At first she was just his poor little girl who had been homeless, who was pregnant with a young baby and how could I possibly think of putting her out! I spent all day long hunting for programs that would make her independent.......even found one that taught her how to drive for free, state gave her a car, so I didn't have to drive her around everywhere. (I don't think either program is available anymore) I made the calls and pulled strings to get her into the HUD apartments, I sat in her welfare meetings and did the request for her to get her GED for free, ect. It didn't take but several weeks for Fred to figure out that she just sat on the couch watching tv eating us out of house and home while I was doing all the work. That ticked him off because it hit him he might be stuck with her forever like her grandfather was with her biomom and he switched sides quick. lol It's obvious buck is not going to do this own his own. He doesn't want independence, he wants someone to take care of him. As for the personal space thing..................oh, yeah. Totally get it. ((hugs)) [/QUOTE]
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I am getting more and more upset over the buck situation
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