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I am having a hard time with this (daughter in jail)
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<blockquote data-quote="bran155" data-source="post: 213617"><p>Thank you guys. I appreciate your honesty and agree with everything you all said. I AM NOT DROPPING THE CHARGES!!!!!</p><p></p><p>I spoke to her lawyer yesterday at length. Boy did she paint a nasty picture of us to him. He went to see her and they talked for quite a bit. He was very nice and understanding of our situation. At first though, he was a bit abrupt as he was lied to by my daughter. She sugar coated her behavior and lied about the way I treat her. After a long conversation, I think he got it. He was upset at the fact that myself as well as our sw thought it best to press charges. He said that jail is no place for this kid. I had to explain to him what our lives have been like over the years. My daughter made it seem that we were the ones abusing her!!! I told him that pressing charges on my own child was not easy however, necessary. At first he told me that I should drop the charges. I told him that I was thinking about doing that only if she was to be placed elsewhere, where she could recieve treatment as well as be supervised. Fast forward, the end result is that we are going to try to get her released into a program funded by the state to protect the mentally ill as well as society. It's called T.A.S.C. , can't remember what it actually stands for. She will be mandated by the court to recieve her mental health treatment through this program. She will be monitored by the courts, she will need to attend therapy regularly as well as take her medications. The only downside to this is she will be living in my home. The original plan to place her into crisis care will not work as DSS no longer wants responsibility for her. Therefore they will not pay for it. Because of her being so close to 18, I think they are just giving up on her. While I agree she should no longer live with me - what do I do with her? I asked her lawyer what could be done to facilitate a placement for her throuth the courts. He actually chuckled and said that criminal court doesn't deal with that, that's only for family court. So, I am pretty much back to square one. While everyone agrees my daughter should not live with me, we just don't know what to do with her. We have already been down this road to no avail. The family courts have already placed her in 3 rtcs and now that she is going to be 18 they no longer want to deal with us. My sw is trying her best to find another place for her to live. She does qualify for residential housing through the Office Of Mental Health, however there are waiting lists and it is on a voluntary basis. So, she will be right back here putting us all through hell!!!! </p><p></p><p>Although I am falling apart inside, I never let her see that. When she calls from jail the conversation usually starts out okay, minutes into it she begins her attack. I give her a warning and then I hang up on her. I am so fed up with all of this and she knows it. I am not very nice to her and show her little sympathy as I don't feel she deserves my kindness anymore. I told her that she is on her own. If she chooses to do the right thing and get her life on track, take her medications, go to therapy and make better choices then I will go to the ends of the earth to help her. I told her that if she chooses to continue to destroy herself I will not be a part of it. I will do nothing for her. She keeps on telling me that when she turns 18 she "is out", I truly hope she means it. I do not want to live with her anymore. I do not want to watch her slowly kill herself anymore. I want to have some peace in my life and focus on my son who deserves a mom who is emotionally healthy!!!! I just can't get emotionally healthy while living with her. I will never understand why a person who is so out of control would choose not to get help, would choose not to take medication, would choose to rather stay out of control. I just can't understand that. I know it is hard to be my daughter and that she suffers more than I do, then why on earth wouldn't she want the help?????</p><p></p><p>I am sorry I rambled on a bit and my words are a bit scattered. I am in a rush, have to pick up my son. I wanted to reply before I left. Thank you all so much for your support and advice, I really do take your opinions seriously. </p><p></p><p>We have court tomorrow morning, I will let you know how it goes. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="bran155, post: 213617"] Thank you guys. I appreciate your honesty and agree with everything you all said. I AM NOT DROPPING THE CHARGES!!!!! I spoke to her lawyer yesterday at length. Boy did she paint a nasty picture of us to him. He went to see her and they talked for quite a bit. He was very nice and understanding of our situation. At first though, he was a bit abrupt as he was lied to by my daughter. She sugar coated her behavior and lied about the way I treat her. After a long conversation, I think he got it. He was upset at the fact that myself as well as our sw thought it best to press charges. He said that jail is no place for this kid. I had to explain to him what our lives have been like over the years. My daughter made it seem that we were the ones abusing her!!! I told him that pressing charges on my own child was not easy however, necessary. At first he told me that I should drop the charges. I told him that I was thinking about doing that only if she was to be placed elsewhere, where she could recieve treatment as well as be supervised. Fast forward, the end result is that we are going to try to get her released into a program funded by the state to protect the mentally ill as well as society. It's called T.A.S.C. , can't remember what it actually stands for. She will be mandated by the court to recieve her mental health treatment through this program. She will be monitored by the courts, she will need to attend therapy regularly as well as take her medications. The only downside to this is she will be living in my home. The original plan to place her into crisis care will not work as DSS no longer wants responsibility for her. Therefore they will not pay for it. Because of her being so close to 18, I think they are just giving up on her. While I agree she should no longer live with me - what do I do with her? I asked her lawyer what could be done to facilitate a placement for her throuth the courts. He actually chuckled and said that criminal court doesn't deal with that, that's only for family court. So, I am pretty much back to square one. While everyone agrees my daughter should not live with me, we just don't know what to do with her. We have already been down this road to no avail. The family courts have already placed her in 3 rtcs and now that she is going to be 18 they no longer want to deal with us. My sw is trying her best to find another place for her to live. She does qualify for residential housing through the Office Of Mental Health, however there are waiting lists and it is on a voluntary basis. So, she will be right back here putting us all through hell!!!! Although I am falling apart inside, I never let her see that. When she calls from jail the conversation usually starts out okay, minutes into it she begins her attack. I give her a warning and then I hang up on her. I am so fed up with all of this and she knows it. I am not very nice to her and show her little sympathy as I don't feel she deserves my kindness anymore. I told her that she is on her own. If she chooses to do the right thing and get her life on track, take her medications, go to therapy and make better choices then I will go to the ends of the earth to help her. I told her that if she chooses to continue to destroy herself I will not be a part of it. I will do nothing for her. She keeps on telling me that when she turns 18 she "is out", I truly hope she means it. I do not want to live with her anymore. I do not want to watch her slowly kill herself anymore. I want to have some peace in my life and focus on my son who deserves a mom who is emotionally healthy!!!! I just can't get emotionally healthy while living with her. I will never understand why a person who is so out of control would choose not to get help, would choose not to take medication, would choose to rather stay out of control. I just can't understand that. I know it is hard to be my daughter and that she suffers more than I do, then why on earth wouldn't she want the help????? I am sorry I rambled on a bit and my words are a bit scattered. I am in a rush, have to pick up my son. I wanted to reply before I left. Thank you all so much for your support and advice, I really do take your opinions seriously. We have court tomorrow morning, I will let you know how it goes. :) [/QUOTE]
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