I am in a bad place! UPDATE!

[Stella Johnson]

Vickie,
In your current health state I don't think it's a good idea to get back into fostering. I think your husband is already feeling overwhelmed. It is too hard on you with your back problems too. I think it would be better for your marriage too if you didn't bring any new people into the situation. Take time to heal your marriage and rest up to help your back.

Aly needs so much extra attention so does my difficult child. She seems to have a harder time keeping herself together with fosters around as well. She needs so much and always will. Plus adding intermittent foster kids will cause temporary chaos anytime you add to the family schedule.

I love babies too and would love to foster someday but it isn't fair to your family or the foster child if you are on bed rest and cant give them your attention and love.

Grandkids are the best. You can play and spoil them and then send them home. If you aren't feeling well, you don't have to take care of them.

This is just my opinion. I'm not trying to hurt you or anything like that... just giving you my perspective.

Sending big (((hugs)))
Steph

 

[TerryJ2]

Oh, Vickie, hugs. You DO sound more centered. A lot of the shakiness is gone.
I know how you feel. I'm close to that place myself.
My husband is more expressive than yours, but still sweeps things under the rug... will take difficult child out and buy him a toy for no good reason. Grrr!
with-a regular kid you can do that but with-a difficult child when you're on a "plan," it doesn't work.
If you've only seen your husband mad or sad or outwardly expressive maybe 5X in 25 yrs, I'd say there's some work to do!

How is your back?

 

[Just keep swimming]

Steph,

I understand where you are coming from, really I do. I will be doing alot of thinking before making the final decision, but fostering was the best "job" I ever did and I miss it so much. We have not had a foster child in our home in well over a year.

I will need to work outside the home if I don't return to fostering. We really need a second income and I am so tired of not being able to do the type of work I want to do and am really good at. I would only take long term placements and only one at a time. Aly is begging us to start again, she loves being involved and beint a helper with the babies. And she is darn good at it. Anyways, no decisions being made right now, just discussions.

Terry,

My husband is the biggest rug sweeper under on this planet. Funny thing is, the pastor who married us told us both the biggest issue he sees for the future of our relationship is husband's unwillingness to talk about the tough stuff.

My back is getting better everyday. I even danced (well, shuffeled around a bit) on Saturday night. I am sore, will be for a while, but every day I am able to add more time/distance to my walking and increase the reps of all my exercises. I have ALWAYS had a bad back, since I was 15 or so, so back pain is just a given for me. Thanks for asking! :grin:

Hugs,
Vickie