I am mad,

[SRL]

IWhy wont they even do this one thing for me? Scott is so important to me. Its not like I can have another one. And they wont have another one. I am so mad. Again...this will keep me from being close to yet another one of their kids because they do something to tick me off. Why do that? I mean...I could have died last year...her mother did die last year! Its not like I am asking to name the kid some really odd name. Its Scott. Its my middle name. Its my mothers maiden name. It means something to me. Could they not just be nice?

And yes, I realize it is up to them and I have no right to even be upset but I am.

Janet, I'm sorry you're so upset about this but the way I figure it is that we had our turns naming kids when we had our babies and this is something new parents should get to do without families getting in the way. You need to detach, lest you make things worse. I would have run for the hills in a heartbeat if my mother or mother in law begged, pleaded, or insisted I use any name for my kids. In fact, we didn't share any of the names we were considering with family members so they were in the dark until the babies were born.

 

[1905]

At this point, maybe you could ask them if their next one can have the name. Janet, as long as he's healthy.....

 

[DammitJanet]

They arent having anymore. And I really dont think Cory is gonna have anymore.

 

[DazedandConfused]

Again...this will keep me from being close to yet another one of their kids because they do something to tick me off.

Janet,

Do you REALLY mean that statement?

Over a name? Or, am I misunderstanding?

I know, they could have considered "scott" a bit more carefully. And, at least, considered your input. I know that I discussed Daughter's middle name with mother in law. In fact, she bragged to family that SHE picked the middle name. It's not how it really happened, but I let it go. But, not be close to the grandchild because of the name?

I think about how much my children love my Mom and how much she loves them. To not have that because of a name?

 

[DammitJanet]

What I mean is that they are starting off once again with hard feelings. Billie makes it really really hard to make nice nice. She always causes a fuss when she comes down here for whatever reason. She has been down here for two vacations and thrown temper tantrums. Really big temper tantrums. One was a Christmas when she tossed Jamies gifts in his face and stomped to the car and threatened to leave. It was awful. Last time she was here she was mad because she was pregnant and SHE couldnt possibly sleep on a couch! So Cory offered her his bed. Then she was ticked off because Jamie went to see some old friends and she didnt have any friends here to see. Well...I cant help that. She wont play nice with others and make friends with Corys girlfriend. Corys girlfriend is more than willing to be nice and befriend her but it takes two to play. I am old and sick. I cant entertain for hours and hours on end.

Now I dont mean I wont see this child. I will. It just will be that there will be a strain on the relationship between us because of his parents. There is between Hailie and us because of the parents. Or maybe its just that we dont see her as often because of distance. Also Billie is quite abrasive and thinks she is the perfect parent. Ha.

Have I mentioned I am not fond of her and when Jamie is with her...the two of them together? I do my best to not let it show.

 

[DammitJanet]

Also please realize...I am venting. I talked to them last night so I am really upset today. I havent said this stuff to them. I am pouring this stuff out here where it is safe to pour it out. I have till the end of September to get over this. And I will. I am just mad right now. Jamie used to be so nice and now he isnt. That is a big blow to me.

 

[DazedandConfused]

((((janet))))

Understood.

 

[SRL]

Also please realize...I am venting. I talked to them last night so I am really upset today. I.

Vent away. It sounds like a lot more than a name issue going on here.

 

[DammitJanet]

You know what...it really is more than the name. I feel like Jamie is shutting or pushing me completely out of his life and only acknowledging his father. Like I wasnt even a part of him at all. With choosing only his father's names and just saying NO! and turning his back literally and figuratively on anything to do with me, it feels like he is saying...Mom be damned, YOU werent and arent to be a part of my life or future...only my father is good enough for me now.

Jamie was my long-haired, golden child until he entered puberty. He was so adorable. If anyone has facebook you can see my video on there. I loved taking him to sports. He was beautiful. We did it all. He was always with me. Then when he hit puberty he started doing more with his father. More fishing and hunting and he stopped sports. He aged out of the rec league and didnt take up with the school...only track. And mom's just dont have as much to do with sports at school. Not like rec league. I wasnt needed anymore. He was more his dads boy then. He didnt want to go shopping with me or anything like that. It was all Dad things and I just didnt fit in. Im not a hunting fishing person.

Now Jamie doesnt even remember the good times with me...he only remembers that I tied him up with socks ONE time. He doesnt remember...or says he doesnt all the other things. Who knows.

All I know is if I hadnt been there things would have been a whole lot worse in his life.

 

[susiestar]

It stinks to feel like your own child doesn't want anything to do with you and can't even be polite to you!

Vent away. We understand. I always think it is a shame that kids and grandparents lose out when the parents refuse to at least play politely in the sandbox.

It may be that you need to set some boundaries with Jamie and his family. It isn't OK to let them run all over you. The last visit seemed very difficult, and so did Christmas. It isn't OK to have them ruin holidays or get togethers for the rest of you.

Sending hugs. And if you want, I can name our next cat "Scott". We are not looking for one now, but sooner or later one will adopt us. Or I will get things together and get rid of that dang bird and celebrate by getting a 3rd cat.

(I like cats far more than I do most people.)

Hugs,

Susie

 

[susiestar]

Janet,

At least they didn't refuse your family name in favor of the names my husband pushed for our kids: Tangent and Vector, Random and Constant, Pi, Conan and a name that would have Wiz' initials BVD.

My husband had to settle with me having ultimate veto power over names of anything I gave birth to. He got to/gets to name anything he gives birth to!!