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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 392208"><p>Thanks for all the input and support. I like that statement draw a line in the sand, not in concrete! That is a good way of thinking about it.. That is exactly why we ended up hiring our son a lawyer. We had initially said we would not pay for a lawyer if he got himself in trouble. He had a court appointment attorney who immediately wanted him to plead to a felony and was going to do nothing. At that pointn I thought to myself this is his long term future... so we hired a lawyer..... and then my son got into more trouble!! Incredibly stupid of him. When he got his bail revoked even our lawyer said that he didn't blame the judge he would have done the same thing. I agree.... it was the only think that was reasonable at that point because here was a kid who had been given several breaks who just was flagrantly disobeying the law. So my son was thrown into jail. i am glad we got him a lawyer because they came up with a plea agreement that was right for my son. This is what I have to remember. Whatever the other boys get, my son ended up in a good rehab program out of state. Yes he could have stayed here and gone to drug court, which I think is at least what one of the other boys got.... but that would have meant him continuing to live at home and that would not have been good for any of us. Yes he ended up having to plead to two counts, one being a felony and had a suspended sentance, but gee the kid had like 5 arrests in the space of 4 months!!!! The other kids did not have as many and my son just has to learn there are consequences if you break the law.</p><p></p><p>I am glad we paid for the lawyer because the end result is something that I think will help my son... rehab, probation, random drug testing and paying restitution.... and yes he should pay the restitution. It was set up that a certain amount needed to be paid and if the other boys had to also pay they would split that amount... but since my son went to court first he had to agree to the restitution even if the other boys don't get that. </p><p></p><p>Susie thanks for your comments. I am not going to charge my son for the lawyer although you are right he should be responsible for it. The thing is there is no way he can come up with 4k.... and I would rather he figure out how to live on his own right now.</p><p></p><p>He called us today for Thanksgiving... which is good. I kept myself from saying too much and kept the conversation light. He did comment he is half way through which worries me because I wonder what he thinks comes next. I am afraid he thinks he will just come home and I don't like that idea at all. But I decided to not go there today.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 392208"] Thanks for all the input and support. I like that statement draw a line in the sand, not in concrete! That is a good way of thinking about it.. That is exactly why we ended up hiring our son a lawyer. We had initially said we would not pay for a lawyer if he got himself in trouble. He had a court appointment attorney who immediately wanted him to plead to a felony and was going to do nothing. At that pointn I thought to myself this is his long term future... so we hired a lawyer..... and then my son got into more trouble!! Incredibly stupid of him. When he got his bail revoked even our lawyer said that he didn't blame the judge he would have done the same thing. I agree.... it was the only think that was reasonable at that point because here was a kid who had been given several breaks who just was flagrantly disobeying the law. So my son was thrown into jail. i am glad we got him a lawyer because they came up with a plea agreement that was right for my son. This is what I have to remember. Whatever the other boys get, my son ended up in a good rehab program out of state. Yes he could have stayed here and gone to drug court, which I think is at least what one of the other boys got.... but that would have meant him continuing to live at home and that would not have been good for any of us. Yes he ended up having to plead to two counts, one being a felony and had a suspended sentance, but gee the kid had like 5 arrests in the space of 4 months!!!! The other kids did not have as many and my son just has to learn there are consequences if you break the law. I am glad we paid for the lawyer because the end result is something that I think will help my son... rehab, probation, random drug testing and paying restitution.... and yes he should pay the restitution. It was set up that a certain amount needed to be paid and if the other boys had to also pay they would split that amount... but since my son went to court first he had to agree to the restitution even if the other boys don't get that. Susie thanks for your comments. I am not going to charge my son for the lawyer although you are right he should be responsible for it. The thing is there is no way he can come up with 4k.... and I would rather he figure out how to live on his own right now. He called us today for Thanksgiving... which is good. I kept myself from saying too much and kept the conversation light. He did comment he is half way through which worries me because I wonder what he thinks comes next. I am afraid he thinks he will just come home and I don't like that idea at all. But I decided to not go there today. [/QUOTE]
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