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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 370209" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I'm also unimpressed by this psychologist. "Anger management" should not require te patient to be made angry first. From my own experience with Asperger's & autistic kids, once they get angry they lose control (or have less control - may still have some, especially as they get older and more skilled). They do better when being shown ways to stay calm.</p><p></p><p>My feeling here - this psychiatric doesn't understand or recognise Asperger's (and therefore is a bit noncommittal about whether he has it) and is compounding his lack of knowledge, with mishandling the anger management. I frankly don't see how triggering a rage can help someone learn how to control it, but since my only experience pretty much is with the Aspie side of thing, my situation is a mirror image of the psychiatric's.</p><p></p><p>Aspie kids learn a different way. They often work very hard to find their own ways to learn. If the psychiatric is having a difficult time provoking a rage, then chances are, your son is a lot better at anger management (at least with the general public) than a lot of people. These kid tend to explode more with the people they feel safest with. "I know you love me unconditionally, even when I'm being hateful; and right now, I HAVE to explode because I've had enough."</p><p></p><p>My boys have both learned ways to stay calm. Most of these ways are self-taught. M input into this has been to help them identify when their behaviour has been inappropriate.</p><p></p><p>I know it took the court ordering, to get this help. Is there any way you can go back to the court and explain to them that this psychiatric seems to be making things worse? That perhaps trying to provoke someone with an anger problem, insulting them and putting them down, is perhaps bad therapy?</p><p></p><p>In the meantime, work on things from your own angle. You also are a therapist, because you are a parent. A great book for parents who want to help their children, is "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. It made our lives so much easier and gave us tools to better teach difficult child 3 how to get on with people and keep his cool. The diagnosis doesn't matter, this book can help anyone ho has problems with this sort of behaviour.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 370209, member: 1991"] I'm also unimpressed by this psychologist. "Anger management" should not require te patient to be made angry first. From my own experience with Asperger's & autistic kids, once they get angry they lose control (or have less control - may still have some, especially as they get older and more skilled). They do better when being shown ways to stay calm. My feeling here - this psychiatric doesn't understand or recognise Asperger's (and therefore is a bit noncommittal about whether he has it) and is compounding his lack of knowledge, with mishandling the anger management. I frankly don't see how triggering a rage can help someone learn how to control it, but since my only experience pretty much is with the Aspie side of thing, my situation is a mirror image of the psychiatric's. Aspie kids learn a different way. They often work very hard to find their own ways to learn. If the psychiatric is having a difficult time provoking a rage, then chances are, your son is a lot better at anger management (at least with the general public) than a lot of people. These kid tend to explode more with the people they feel safest with. "I know you love me unconditionally, even when I'm being hateful; and right now, I HAVE to explode because I've had enough." My boys have both learned ways to stay calm. Most of these ways are self-taught. M input into this has been to help them identify when their behaviour has been inappropriate. I know it took the court ordering, to get this help. Is there any way you can go back to the court and explain to them that this psychiatric seems to be making things worse? That perhaps trying to provoke someone with an anger problem, insulting them and putting them down, is perhaps bad therapy? In the meantime, work on things from your own angle. You also are a therapist, because you are a parent. A great book for parents who want to help their children, is "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. It made our lives so much easier and gave us tools to better teach difficult child 3 how to get on with people and keep his cool. The diagnosis doesn't matter, this book can help anyone ho has problems with this sort of behaviour. Marg [/QUOTE]
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