So for years I have attended IEP meetings where I sit and tell them my son needs more than RSP (Special Education) pull out help with math. That he is a basket case when he comes home. That he is in serious emotional difficulty and has zero friends. And for years I have been told "he's fine when he's at school, he has friends here, there are no problems and he doesn't qualify for anything more."
Last spring, after 2 psychiatric hospital stays totaling almost 6 weeks - what did the talking heads say? "He's fine when he's at school, he has friends, blah blah blah". No he doesn't qualify for anything but RSP and really in HS he's not even going to get that.
So this year - once again I go to these meetings and I hear "he's fine when he's here, etc." BUT he's there less and less. Down to going maybe 10-12 hours a week total. So at the last IEP meeting which I called to address this issue I say "he's not fine. he may seem fine when he's here...but he's not HERE is he?"
And I say we need an ED assessment. Which so far the SD has categorically refused to do. The SD Special Education person (who is really the person with the power) says OK but he will have to show deficits in all settings - code to me that, once again, she knows that he will be "fine" at school. It must be something wrong at home that he is having all these problems there and NONE here. Right.
And I said I want him to spend some time in the ED classroom on campus between now and our next meeting in 4 weeks. OK she says but she says "I do not want him in there full time, he should just visit." I quietly go along with that. In the past 4 weeks difficult child 2 has only been in there 10 minutes to at most an hour every 3 or 4 days.
Got a copy of the psychosocial report today. Yep, he qualifies as ED. Guess what? The RSP who's been working with him since November says "odd and bizarre behaviors, cries/weeps easily, emotionally unpredictable - anxious, euphoric, angry, can't follow what's going on in class because he's worried and preoccupied" . I am vindicated! YES. And I am so mad I could spit nails that it has taken until he is 15 yo for me to get them to pay attention and assess the right stuff.
So I go visit the ED classroom teacher this afternoon. Really, really nice guy who's been doing HS ED teaching for 15+ years. Casual, friendly, self-confident, in good shape but not bulging, firm handshake, soft spoken but no push over.
He's like, so difficult child 2 will be in here full time now that he's ED huh? I'm like, yes I think that's where he needs to be right now. Teacher says, boy he's practically missed his whole freshman year. Yes I say that is about right.
Teacher says, I made a point to spend some time with him the other day and he really needs help with social skills. I agree. What does he like to do? teacher asks. I say not much anymore, video games and sometimes he will play his bass guitar, used to love Legos we have thousands of them. Oh, says the teacher, I play a little guitar. Maybe that could be one of his rewards for coming to school - we can have a little jam session on Fridays. And we could get out our Legos, we don't have a lot but we have some. I say, would you like a giant bin of them? He says sure if you'd like to donate some that would be great.
Then he says, so we'll see if we can get him caught up over the summer (extended school year services) and I try not to gape. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get ESY from this district? Like getting blood out of a decayed husk of a turnip. That way, the teacher says, next fall he might only have to take one extra class.
OMG. I think I am in love (sorry Star, I'm fickle).
Did I mention that this class has a total of 10 kids with teacher and one aide? They have exactly one opening.
If I had won a million dollar jackpot I could not be happier. And if that SD Special Education person tries to stop me from getting him what he needs well she had better be ready to have footprints on her face cause I am going to just walk all over her.
Uh huh.
Last spring, after 2 psychiatric hospital stays totaling almost 6 weeks - what did the talking heads say? "He's fine when he's at school, he has friends, blah blah blah". No he doesn't qualify for anything but RSP and really in HS he's not even going to get that.
So this year - once again I go to these meetings and I hear "he's fine when he's here, etc." BUT he's there less and less. Down to going maybe 10-12 hours a week total. So at the last IEP meeting which I called to address this issue I say "he's not fine. he may seem fine when he's here...but he's not HERE is he?"
And I say we need an ED assessment. Which so far the SD has categorically refused to do. The SD Special Education person (who is really the person with the power) says OK but he will have to show deficits in all settings - code to me that, once again, she knows that he will be "fine" at school. It must be something wrong at home that he is having all these problems there and NONE here. Right.
And I said I want him to spend some time in the ED classroom on campus between now and our next meeting in 4 weeks. OK she says but she says "I do not want him in there full time, he should just visit." I quietly go along with that. In the past 4 weeks difficult child 2 has only been in there 10 minutes to at most an hour every 3 or 4 days.
Got a copy of the psychosocial report today. Yep, he qualifies as ED. Guess what? The RSP who's been working with him since November says "odd and bizarre behaviors, cries/weeps easily, emotionally unpredictable - anxious, euphoric, angry, can't follow what's going on in class because he's worried and preoccupied" . I am vindicated! YES. And I am so mad I could spit nails that it has taken until he is 15 yo for me to get them to pay attention and assess the right stuff.
So I go visit the ED classroom teacher this afternoon. Really, really nice guy who's been doing HS ED teaching for 15+ years. Casual, friendly, self-confident, in good shape but not bulging, firm handshake, soft spoken but no push over.
He's like, so difficult child 2 will be in here full time now that he's ED huh? I'm like, yes I think that's where he needs to be right now. Teacher says, boy he's practically missed his whole freshman year. Yes I say that is about right.
Teacher says, I made a point to spend some time with him the other day and he really needs help with social skills. I agree. What does he like to do? teacher asks. I say not much anymore, video games and sometimes he will play his bass guitar, used to love Legos we have thousands of them. Oh, says the teacher, I play a little guitar. Maybe that could be one of his rewards for coming to school - we can have a little jam session on Fridays. And we could get out our Legos, we don't have a lot but we have some. I say, would you like a giant bin of them? He says sure if you'd like to donate some that would be great.
Then he says, so we'll see if we can get him caught up over the summer (extended school year services) and I try not to gape. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get ESY from this district? Like getting blood out of a decayed husk of a turnip. That way, the teacher says, next fall he might only have to take one extra class.
OMG. I think I am in love (sorry Star, I'm fickle).
Did I mention that this class has a total of 10 kids with teacher and one aide? They have exactly one opening.
If I had won a million dollar jackpot I could not be happier. And if that SD Special Education person tries to stop me from getting him what he needs well she had better be ready to have footprints on her face cause I am going to just walk all over her.
Uh huh.
