I wrote my daughter a very carefully worded letter about how I feel she has thrown me under the bus in our relationship. My husband has been saddled with her $100,000 student loan as she has defaulted. Actually, she doesn't make payments. He's made them all. Tonight I read a letter that she wrote me, where she said some things that were outright delusional: 1) regarding her rape, that I felt she deserved to get raped. 2) that she wanted to get into a good school and I told her she didn't have what it took. 3. That she starved and didn't have lunch during high school because I didn't make it for her. 4. That she didn't have school supplies because I didn't buy them (I recall buying supplies every Fall and spending close to $100 on these items) The situation with lunches? I told her that she should prepare her own sandwiches. I thought it was a way to assert a sense of independence. I am just sitting here stunned by this letter I got from her. Where did this come from? There have been other lies. That one of us (her dad or i) threw her down the stairs. We never did such a thing. Chronic, blatant lies. I don't want to get any more emails from this person that took over my little girl. She is overlooking the thousands we spent on her care, the times I dropped whatever I was doing at a drop of a hat because she was having an emergency. I remember being on the highway to get to an appointment at work and she needed her mom, was having yet another situation, so aborting work to put her in front of all things, because I thought that is what a good mom does, puts her kids first. The letter is horrible. I would post it here but I am not sure I am allowed to. I will post an excerpt about the car we have. We had to get it out of impound because unbeknownst to us, she was driving it on a suspended license and got caught. The $275 my husband paid to get it taken out of impound was not paid by her. here's her words. I had to wonder about the "we bought it" as she has not paid a penny on the car as she promised to and she had it for a year before it got impounded. My husband made all the payments. those days are over. She writes: Keep the car. I'm going to call today to try and get the loan transferred but honestly I know that they're not gonna do it. We bought it WAY under blue book value anyway, if you just put a little into the cosmetic stuff on the front you'll probably pull a profit off of selling the thing. However, I need everything back that was inside of it. Most of it was trash (I was so ##### busy, sorry) but there are a few things I want in there. I'm going to go to one of these in-house financing places and get a car with a 30% interest rate or something ridiculous. But I will be thrilled to do it, because that's one less thing that you can control me with. ************************ Okay sharing something else she wrote: Carrying (baby) for 9 months, giving birth to her, watching her grow and sleep in my arms, has cemented in my brain now what mom really means. And despite it all, I know you love me, and you tried so hard to be a good mom. Years ago I forgave you for all of this, which is why I stopped raging back. But forgiveness without caution is foolishness. And though you have gotten much better over the years, (i think the apnea was partly to blame), I have no faith in God, dad, or you, that you will ever change and stop threatening my daughter and I when things don't go your way. And right now I am crying so hard mom. Because I love you so much. But I have to protect my family from you. ************************ She contradicts herself. I tried so hard to a good mom. yes. But I made some tragic mistakes of enabling her and this self entitlement she has. The part about threatening the baby? I love the baby. I gave her several chances to rectify the situation of mold growing in the baby's bottles. She would ask me to come over to help with housecleaning and it would take me 2 hours to do the dishes. The baby bottles were full of disgusting mold. After warning her three times, I did call CPS to investigate. I warned her I was going to do this based on the bottles and the presence of drugs in the home. Around the computer of her boyfriend's a silver powdery substance in a bag and a sharp knife (to draw lines?). Open smoking of pot in front of the baby. reporting one's daughter is the worst think that you can do, but sometimes there are no other choices. I gave her warning. So we are selling her car. We are also speaking to an attorney to disown her from the will. THere's so much I haven't shared. Being beat up by my own daughter with closed fists. The rage. What my therapist calls...projection. I became the dumping bag for all of her problems but was only a phone call away when she needed to borrow money or spend money on her for lunch. We are exhausted. I can't emotionally deal with my daughter any longer. We are cutting her off.