I am only attracted to women who look good in a bikini

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klmno

Active Member
Well, what this tells me is that something is wrong with this guy. Yeah, I believe that guys have "physical reactions" to the stereotypical beautiful woman, even my son does, BUT once a man has fallen in love with a woman, he learns that real attraction and resulting good sex come with the feelings, the intrigue, etc. If this guy is over 40 yo and still doesn't know this I think it's a big red flag that he's never really been in love with any woman and that would be enough to scare me off.
 

witzend

Well-Known Member
You know if I was in AZ this guy would be bleeding, right? Car keyed? WTH?

That being said, where did you meet this guy at? It's not like I know how to meet men, because most certainly I do not. But have you tried anything like "e-harmony"? Maybe that's good way to go, and maybe not, but it seems like you could at least weed out a clod like that before you waste your time and your heart on him.
 

susiestar

Roll With It
Say it with me now. *******. That is what we Okies call idiots like him.

Marg may be right, but it doesn't let him off the hook. EVERY guy over 20 KNOWS that you don't talk to a woman about her hair color, hair style, weight, clothing or makeup until you are very well established in a relationship. It is just a no-no carved in stone.

Time to start looking.

I weigh substantially more than you and am shorter. Want me to wear a bikini and sit on him?
 
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trinityroyal

Well-Known Member
Oh Steely,
What a PUTZ! Like the others, I can't believe that he said that.

You were so right to walk out. I agree with the others that it is a good thing he showed his true colours so early on, so that you don't waste another minute on his sorry self.

Strange...I was given this advice once about job hunting, but I think it applies equally to relationships...

When you go in, don't think "I hope they like me." Rather, think "I hope I like them." You shouldn't have to settle for anything less than someone who fulfills your needs, dreams and desires, whatever they are. This dude is clearly not up to the job.

Sending many hugs.
And no, 5'6 and 150 lbs is NOT fat at all.

Trinity
 

muttmeister

Well-Known Member
First of all, NO, not all men are like that.

Second of all, thank God he said that when he did and showed his true colors early in the "relationship." I'd hate to spend my time on somebody like that, only to find out later that he is an idiot. You found out early. Lucky you.

Time to move on, happily.
 

Star*

call 911........call 911
This man is who he is. He is limited by his careless and thoughtless comments to a woman who believed he was a friend, a good friend. Remember when I told you about people that come into our lives for a period of time and us into theirs? Maybe whatever it is you were both supposed to learn from each other has been accomplished. A lot of times people just don't know how to say goodbye and move on so they come up with hurtful things - what he said was uncalled for. But it served it's purpose. I wouldn't think you'd want to stick around and fall in love anymore.

So while it would seem that this man you are so fond of isn't so fond of you and it hurts, I'm very sorry. In my life I have gone from thinking that I wanted revenge to believing that living well was the best revenge to now KNOWING that when you are able to forget about someone and how they have hurt you - they cease to exist and that is better than anything else.

I hope you take what he's taught you and move forward because you are a good person and you deserve the best. Perhaps another positive sticky note of affirmation for your mirror? (Did you ever do that?) I DESERVE THE BEST - not just I deserve better than him.

Hugs kiddo -

oh and PS - as your GIRLFRIEND - (can't forget MY addition of ugly)

I THINK He is dog poop, under a wad of stale chewing gum, rolled over by a garbage truck tire now sticking to the bottom of a construction workers boot, standing in stagnant, mosquito larva filled pond scum. :mad:
 

AnnieO

Shooting from the Hip
WOW.

All I can say is I agree with everyone, that you found out early!

FWIW, I'm 5'3, 134 lbs - no chest and as Marg put it "snake hips" and no rearend. Umm, yeah. I am NOT wearing a bikini.

You are SOOOOO not overweight at that height/weight. And I bet you look better in a 'kini than I do.

I have met 2 guys who pass the Speedo test ever. And they were both jerks. Tell him where to stick it. How insensitive!!!!!
 

rejectedmom

New Member
LOSE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is a horse's pitudy. You deserve better. Personally I would have nothing more to do with him. For him to say that AFTER he was physical with you? He's a user which makes him a real LOOSER in my book. -RM
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
I didnt look good in a bikini when I weighed 125 and I am 5'8! I sure dont look good in one now and if I only was useful or attractive to Tony because of a bathing suit, boy, would both of us be out of luck...lol. I wouldnt pass a bikini test and he wouldnt pass a speedo test!!! Well I guess maybe we would pass for each other after we got done laughing our butts off...lmao.

Heavens, even my stupid boys knew better than to even utter such garbage from infancy. They grew up knowing it wasnt the outside but the inside. In fact, they seem to try and feed their women into looking like me!
 

flutterby

Fly away!
Schmuck.

I say we ALL put on bikinis and go sit on him.

Next time you see him, look at him and say, "Next!", cause baby you're movin' on.
 

susiestar

Roll With It
Maybe you should do a review of his "style" and mail him a "report card" wherein you note that he is shorter and smaller than average, couldn't handle the Speedo test, needs to lose weight or beard or whatever, just critique about everything. Including his manners!!

Want help writing it? (I do NOT mean he is less than tall, Know what I mean??)
 

everywoman

Well-Known Member
My response would have been---"I only date men with a personality. You may want to look into how to get one..."
 

Suz

(the future) MRS. GERE
I am so lousy at thinking on my feet (or whatever position I'm in) that I would have been struck dumb and would have thought of ten zillion responses after the fact.

The truth is...intentional or not, it was a hurtful thing to say. How are you feeling now, Steely? Do you think you will see him again and, if so, will you bring it up and tell him how it made you feel?

Suz
 

Steely

Active Member
Sorry guys for my delayed response - I just got time to read everyone's responses. And they are awesome! You all are a mega load of strength! Thank you!:D

I could not agree more. I want nothing more to do with him, and I am super glad I found out this early in the game that he was such a heel, before I really fell for him. The stupidly eerie thing is that my ex was like this - and the minute I saw this guy he reminded me of my ex - and low and behold - I was right on the money.

The SUPER big bummer is that he is my next door neighbor. We share a wall in the freaking townhome I lease. So it is not as easy as just "never seeing him again", I am going to have to switch the entire relationship, from intimate, to "neighbor". Grrrrr..............I am really, really annoyed by this fact. I came out to AZ to enjoy the beauty and scenery. The moon and the stars. All of which I can see from my backyard - and he is distorting my peace and serenity.:faint: I drove up to my house tonight, and there he was, in his front yard. BLAH.

The other BIG bummer, is that we both shared a love for the out of doors, and he was starting to take me on hikes and to do all the great things AZ offers. Now I am back on my own to discover those. But maybe that is how it should be.

I know, that in reality, I am not ready for a relationship. I need to work on healing, and on my self esteem, before "dating". This neighbor thing just "sorta" happened. Maybe my lack of self esteem caused him to look for my weaknesses. Probably. It is just not a good thing.

Should I talk to him about this and set things straight?

I just wish he was not my neighbor. Good grief. Oddly. My ex, the one this guy reminds me of, was my neighbor. And he called me fat after we got married. And he told me he was not attracted to me and would not have sex with me until I lost weight. I was at that time 140lbs. After those repetitive remarks I ballooned to 170 lbs. Once I moved out here, I lost a lot of weight - and yet the "neighbor" still thinks I am fat and could never be attracted to me.? How serendipitous can life get?


And, oh by the way - he would NEVER pass the Speedo test - and I did indeed tell him that.
"Oh my, and yes, you are one to talk! You and your BIG package". Not.
And yes, if he is ever rude to me again, I will most certainly sit on him.:tongue:
 
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klmno

Active Member
And, oh by the way - he would NEVER pass the Speedo test - and I did indeed tell him that.
"Oh my, and yes, you are one to talk! You and your BIG package". Not.

:rofl:

Steely, here's my psycho-babble opinion after reading this last post. It sounds like you have a self-esteem issue and you are picking men out who are telling you what you believe- the negative, untruths, but you think maybe they are telling you the truth. IOW, I think you are picking men who are reflecting your low self image.

OK, now- I'm only a layman so I'm glad whatever it is, you can see that you need to move on. I wouldn't have any conversation with him about this issue. It validates it way too much. Honestly, I'd be tempted to do no more than say "hi" in passing if he came by as I was wearing my bikini on my ill-fit body while outside watering my plants that just recently got moved to view from his living room window.
 

ThreeShadows

Quid me anxia?
Well, isn't it fortunate you were only using him for sex!

I know this is more magical thinking, but I believe the right guy will come along. You are really pretty, be sure of that fact.
 

Marguerite

Active Member
Steely, don't lower yourself to explain, unless he asks for one. If he does, keep your answer simple and casual, because HE REALLY DOESN'T MATTER. Or shouldn't.
Simply say (if he asks), "I only go out with guys who have a decent packed lunch."

But make it clear with your attitude form here - you are a strong, confident lady who has something better to do THIS WEEK. having a romantic dalliance with him is SOOOO last week...

It's possible to continue being friendly. Chances are, he will feel relieved. If her persists in chsing you you may eventually have to say, "Sorry - I thought I was disqualified due to my lack of bikini-wearing cred."

But DO NOT VOLUNTEER any of this. Just smile sweetly if/when you pass in the hallway.

You shouldn't find any of the casual hallway meetings upsetting in any way, because he really doesn't matter to you any more. What you were attracted to (a fun, caring, compassionate, attractive guy with personality), did not exist.

What you live next door to is a rather nice-looking (in a retrospective kind of way) but otherwise shallow, egocentric immature bloke. Not worth wasting your time and energy on. Even expending energy to avoid him, is a waste of your emotional input.

From here on, he simply should not matter any more. Consider him the equivalent of a gay acquaintance.

Marg
 

busywend

Well-Known Member
in my humble opinion, if you want to keep on doing the fun things then go for it. But, do not let your heart get into it - so keep it as friends.
 
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