I am onto one more unresolved issue

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Steely, Feb 13, 2009.

  1. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    I called the coroners office today about H. I have decided it does not take me going up to OR to re-open the case. It takes me, just as tenacious as I am, sitting right here in Texas, to solve this. So I finally made the call, and now that the ball is rolling - like in bowling - we will watch it spin until it takes down however many pins.

    I know me. And once I decide on something, it is happening. So - in a couple of months, I am confident that at least some part of the mystery of her death will be resolved. I had hoped a family member would aid me in this, or one of her friends - but I have realized that will not happen. It is just me.

    So...........here I go.

    I did not hear back from the recruiter for the job in AZ yet............still hoping and doing that nekked chicken liver dance. She said Monday, or "sometime" early next week. Sigh.

    Love you guys. You have all given me so much strength to take these huge steps.
  2. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    First of all, nekkid chicken liver dance in progress for the job. Good luck!!!

    Second....what exactly is involved in getting this ball on it's way? I know there are many questions but what exactly did you talk to the coroner about?

    And you know....you may have wanted or expected at least one other person to be involved in this with you but...some people just accept what is told to them. All it takes is one person speaking up and you are definately that person. I wish you the best possible outcome for this. Good luck!

  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Hang in there- it sounds like you will definitely hear back about the phone interview. Shoot, they might be already discussing pay to offer and maybe that's why it's taking a few business days.

    As far as H and the case, if all it took was a phone call to re-open the case, then why did they not already have it re-opened? I'm frustrated that they just let that case get pushed aside. I sincerely hope you can get some resolution but I'm glad you are thinking of your own life now and pushing for a better future for yourself. They might never solve it, you know that, but still, H will always be a part of you.

  4. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Yes, well the thing is that my parent's are in la-la land denial. They did not even read the coroner's report.

    When I read it, and found the discrepancies, and then brought them to my family's attention - I was told - "I dunno know, but if you want more details call the coroner". Instead I called the police, who told me to call the coroner. OK, so now I have done it.

    My problem is, is that I know when I set my mind to something it WILL be resolved, so I have been hmmm and hawing over what to do for the last 6 months, because once I am invested in something I will not let it go - and that take an enormous amount of energy.

    I guess was hoping for someone else in H's or my life, to join me on my journey, but evidently that will not happen.

    So now, it is off the ground. I WILL find out how H died. My parents, or relatives or friends want no part of it - but I have finally decided that I single handedly will find out the cause of her death. It is not just as easy as calling the coroner - that is only the first step of many. But for my little sister - there is no such thing as sacrifice.
  5. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Thanks klmno & mstng about the faith in my job/career thing. I figure that it is what it is. I am hoping beyond hope - that "is" means this job.;)
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Steely I think you've needed to do this for both you and H for a long time. I think it's good energy being used positively. I think it will be a path of healing for you, although the path may get rough before it really gets better.

    As for the job, still praying hard and sending good vibes.

  7. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Good luck Steely I hope your journey leads you to a happier place. -RM
  8. bran155

    bran155 Guest

    Good for you girl! I am impressed with your tenacity. I hope you find the answers you are looking for. And you get the closure you need to find the inner peace you so deserve. H will be with you the whole time, holding your hand and guiding you. The bond is not broken, you carry her with you always, in your heart! I will pray that you knock down ALL of the pins and get that strike you are looking for!!!

    God bless. :)
  9. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Maybe this full cycle of seasons and change has given you the strength to move forward with this.
    H would be so proud of her big sister. I think you are doing what you heart needs and is telling you to do.

    Still sending positive ju-ju for the j.o.b.
  10. Jena

    Jena New Member


    You have come so far in such a short amt of time with all this, soo impressive you are!! :)

    I think it's great what you are doing and it will give you some solace at the end of it i am hoping. You sound very determined and raring to go. I"m still sending good wishes for job as well.

  11. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Wishing you good luck in this journey and sending along prayers.
  12. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Hope you get some answers about H's death and about the new job...... some people just bury their heads in the sand and say why ask questions, maybe because they don't know how to deal with answers they get...... thinking of you......
  13. Stella Johnson

    Stella Johnson Active Member

    Good luck on the job! I hope you get good news. Keep us updated.

    I'm sure I missed a few posts but what was the coroner's cause of death?
  14. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Thanks guys.
    You know H's death could be literally on 48 Hours. It is that much of a mystery and enigma. In fact I have thought of contacting them.

    The coroners cause of death was accidental drowning. The police said they listed it as that because she had been in the water too long to have any tangible evidence. In addition the police never expected to find her dead. Their words. It was a missing persons case the whole time, until some innocent couple was taking a walk around the park and saw her body. (Horrible for them.)

    As you remember I had been screaming murder the whole time, which is why the police became annoyed with me, and removed me from the investigation. So any evidence they would have had, would have gone unnoticed because the police focused on this investigation with the wrong lens. However, my sister swam 2 miles a day as exercise - and then she drowns in 10 feet of water in a pond the size of 2 swimming pools? Come on. An accident?

    So finally, after months of waiting, I got a hold of the coroners report. I think I posted about it at the time, because the police were saying there was "was no evidence of foul play", and yet she had bruising and puncture marks all over her arms. Never been told that she had bruising, by any cop. It was always "there is no evidence of foul play."

    Unfortunately I burned my bridges with those cops - and with my parents over this. So talking to either of them over this is moot. Even Hs best friend does not want to admit that something could have really happened to H besides an accident. That someone else may have hurt her, she can barely fathom, let alone talk about. For me, and evidently, only me, it just produces fury. Broiling, guttural fury. Perhaps because she was my little sister, and since the day she was born I felt overly protective of her. We did not live in a healthy family, so I alway felt it was my responsibility to protect her. So when she went missing I was like a bull in a china shop - ready to take on the world to find her. Everyone shut me down. And then they found her body, and I shut down to my grief.

    Anyway........this long rambling post just to say answer Jens question about the cause of death.
    I kept thinking I would have to go up there to OR to break open this case, but now I have convinced myself I can do most of myself from my computer & telephone here in Dallas.

    The really haunting thing for me, is that when I found out she was missing I boarded a plane to OR to find her. I was trembling, and beside myself, because I knew H enough to know she was not just going to go missing unless something had happened to her. So I closed my eyes on the plane, as it was taking off, just trying to calm down - and I see this image flash through my brain. It was of someone holding H down, specifically her feet - holding her down so she could not move.

    Fast forward to her cause of death. One of the only ways she could have died in that small body of water, without a blow to the head, is the above scenario. It gives me chills.
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2009
  15. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    in my humble opinion, that's a good idea. There is nothing to lose at this point. It sounds like they should have listed cause of death as "unknown", if they weren't comfortable with homicide. Even if it was accidental or something else (like having a heart attach while swimming which caused drowning, as an example), wouldn't someone come forward and say "oh, I saw a lady swimming" or something? (I realize she wasn't going swimming, that's just a hypothetical.)
  16. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sending hugs and good thoughts to you, Steely. What about Unsolved Mysteries?
  17. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Steely, your first post here made me smile.
    You definitely stay on things when you have a cause. Way To Go!
    Do you think that there are new officers on the force who might take over the case now that it's been so long? One can only hope ... :) That way you could at least have someone new, who doesn't have any baggage.
    I've got my fingers crossed for you.
  18. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It


    This is an excellent move on your part and one you probably have needed to take for quite a while. It may be too "out there" but I would sadly believe more in that flash that you had of someone holding her down, esp as she was a strong swimmer AND there were bruises on her arms, believe that much more than the police.

    I don't know why the police are the way they are there. I DO think contacting 60 minutes or 48 hours would be an excellent idea - even if family and friends think it is a bad idea.

    For the job - I am dancing nekkid with you, girl!! I think that all our dancing will get positive results if for no other reason than your neighbors getting tired of seeing us all dancing nekkid in the back yard!

    Gentle hugs, and know that I am with you 100% on your quest.