flutterby
Fly away!
I'm trying to keep it bottled in...but every day I'm more angry and resentful than the last.
I had a b session with the therapist today. It helped some, but as soon as I left I kept mulling over everything and I'm right back where I was when I went in.
I am tired of being treated like dirt. I am tired of an 18 year old thinking she can tell me how to parent - if not directly, then with snarky comments. I am tired of difficult child asking me to buy her stuff, then turning around and telling everyone how horrible I am. I am tired of difficult child telling everyone she does *everything* when she does *nothing*. Seriously, she tells therapist that she is worked to death. I am tired of easy child playing video games all day long. I am tired of having to ask him to do something 5 or 6 times before it is done, half-butt, and then him complaining when I ask him to finish the job. And I am tired of his other half acting like he does everything and we should kiss the ground he walks on.
I am seriously tired of my kids. All of them. Even the ones that aren't mine. easy child's DF brought her nieces over for about 4 hours last week. They are 6 and 4, have no discipline at home, I feel like garbage, I didn't know they were coming, they were loud and I wasn't in the mood. And I normally love the little ones.
I'm sick of it. I have zero time to myself. None. Ever. There is always someone here. Oh...except for a couple of weeks ago, I got 6 hours to myself. Woo.
I'm finding myself doing stuff that I hate - passive aggressive stuff. I can't stand it when people do that and I've always been known for being direct. But, we'll have a discussion, things will be better for a couple of weeks then it's right back where it started and I am just angry.
The last thing from easy child's DF is about easy child running errands. Well, you know what, he lives here, he eats food that I buy, uses utilities that I pay for...it's not going to kill him. But, I am not having that thrown in my face one more damn time.
So, I told easy child that he needed to park at the street so that I wasn't blocked in. Guess what? This morning they were both blocking me in. I was ready to go the store at 7am, but I waited til 9am, woke easy child and told him he had to move the cars. It had been snowing, too, so he had to scrape them off first. He didn't look happy. I didn't - and don't - care. In fact, I got a little enjoyment out of it. How sad is that? That's how seriously ticked off I am. He said he can't park at the street (it's not on the street) when there's snow. NOT MY PROBLEM! I told him not to block me in.
If I'm doing everything, I'm doing it on MY schedule. Not theirs. When I sleep during the day, he can't manage to keep the noise down and says that people shouldn't be sleeping then so he shouldn't have to. I don't expect him to whisper. Just not be so loud.
So be it. I'm doing it on my schedule. And if they don't like it, NOT MY PROBLEM!
I'm really trying hard not to blow, but I tell ya, it's not going to take much to set me off. And once that happens...it'll be big.
Bah Humbug.
I had a b session with the therapist today. It helped some, but as soon as I left I kept mulling over everything and I'm right back where I was when I went in.
I am tired of being treated like dirt. I am tired of an 18 year old thinking she can tell me how to parent - if not directly, then with snarky comments. I am tired of difficult child asking me to buy her stuff, then turning around and telling everyone how horrible I am. I am tired of difficult child telling everyone she does *everything* when she does *nothing*. Seriously, she tells therapist that she is worked to death. I am tired of easy child playing video games all day long. I am tired of having to ask him to do something 5 or 6 times before it is done, half-butt, and then him complaining when I ask him to finish the job. And I am tired of his other half acting like he does everything and we should kiss the ground he walks on.
I am seriously tired of my kids. All of them. Even the ones that aren't mine. easy child's DF brought her nieces over for about 4 hours last week. They are 6 and 4, have no discipline at home, I feel like garbage, I didn't know they were coming, they were loud and I wasn't in the mood. And I normally love the little ones.
I'm sick of it. I have zero time to myself. None. Ever. There is always someone here. Oh...except for a couple of weeks ago, I got 6 hours to myself. Woo.
I'm finding myself doing stuff that I hate - passive aggressive stuff. I can't stand it when people do that and I've always been known for being direct. But, we'll have a discussion, things will be better for a couple of weeks then it's right back where it started and I am just angry.
The last thing from easy child's DF is about easy child running errands. Well, you know what, he lives here, he eats food that I buy, uses utilities that I pay for...it's not going to kill him. But, I am not having that thrown in my face one more damn time.
So, I told easy child that he needed to park at the street so that I wasn't blocked in. Guess what? This morning they were both blocking me in. I was ready to go the store at 7am, but I waited til 9am, woke easy child and told him he had to move the cars. It had been snowing, too, so he had to scrape them off first. He didn't look happy. I didn't - and don't - care. In fact, I got a little enjoyment out of it. How sad is that? That's how seriously ticked off I am. He said he can't park at the street (it's not on the street) when there's snow. NOT MY PROBLEM! I told him not to block me in.
If I'm doing everything, I'm doing it on MY schedule. Not theirs. When I sleep during the day, he can't manage to keep the noise down and says that people shouldn't be sleeping then so he shouldn't have to. I don't expect him to whisper. Just not be so loud.
So be it. I'm doing it on my schedule. And if they don't like it, NOT MY PROBLEM!
I'm really trying hard not to blow, but I tell ya, it's not going to take much to set me off. And once that happens...it'll be big.
Bah Humbug.
