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I am so angry I could erupt!! :( :(
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 342879" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>MattsMom...</p><p></p><p>I really thought about what I wrote to you and S/O last night. The reality of everything rolled around in my head after I posted this and I just wanted to come back and say - all what I wrote is IF it's in your power to do so. I understand that taking on a child who is as damaged as she sounds is not going to be easy. Monumental actually,and probably impossible for her to ever live in a home environment, no matter HOW fantastic of a Dad and Step-Mom she would have. </p><p></p><p>In retrospect? I think Susie* and Shari have valid points too. Find out what his rights are, and what could be done for his daughter. IF (big huge IF) you can do something for her at this point in YOUR lives without disrupting your home and your children? Then consider how it could go. I think sometimes we get so passionate about our kids, that we want to save all of them, the underdogs and the reality of it is? Sometimes it's just not possible, too much damage is done, too much time has passed. </p><p></p><p>The point I would make in all of this I think your S/O already has stated, and given different circumstances with the Mother I believe he would have been there for his daughter. DF explained to me that it's NOT the Father's fault that the bio-mother is a whack job, and that she will play games over and over to the point where it gets so painful for him? He actually feels it's better for THE CHILD to walk away and not cause waves. This is what his x did to him.</p><p></p><p> He would have been a wonderful Dad. He's a fantastic step-dad to Dude. Because he IS a good Step-father to Dude? His x wife does everything 28 years later to make his life as miserable as she can, and his daughter has an estranged relationship with him. Looking back however he said had he known then what he knows now? He would have fought her and her family tooth and nail for his rights. So take that advice for what it's worth. </p><p></p><p>I hope you didn't feel I meant that S/O had to ride in on a white horse or I'd think less of him. Quite the opposite. I think he's a great guy in horrific circumstances with a whack job of his own to contend with. I'm not sure, or actually I'm positive I couldn't have been as kind and gracious with my mouth in describing her or her problems as you. So kudos to you for that. I have zero tolerance in my being left for adults who mess up childrens lives because of their choices with drugs. none. </p><p></p><p>I just wanted to set that straight before you read the other post and thought...Gosh Star. I just hope someone is able to help S/O's daughter get the help she needs and get her set up with a stable place to live away from her drug-addled, drama queen womb-donor. She deserves that much anyway. </p><p></p><p>Hugs & Love </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 342879, member: 4964"] MattsMom... I really thought about what I wrote to you and S/O last night. The reality of everything rolled around in my head after I posted this and I just wanted to come back and say - all what I wrote is IF it's in your power to do so. I understand that taking on a child who is as damaged as she sounds is not going to be easy. Monumental actually,and probably impossible for her to ever live in a home environment, no matter HOW fantastic of a Dad and Step-Mom she would have. In retrospect? I think Susie* and Shari have valid points too. Find out what his rights are, and what could be done for his daughter. IF (big huge IF) you can do something for her at this point in YOUR lives without disrupting your home and your children? Then consider how it could go. I think sometimes we get so passionate about our kids, that we want to save all of them, the underdogs and the reality of it is? Sometimes it's just not possible, too much damage is done, too much time has passed. The point I would make in all of this I think your S/O already has stated, and given different circumstances with the Mother I believe he would have been there for his daughter. DF explained to me that it's NOT the Father's fault that the bio-mother is a whack job, and that she will play games over and over to the point where it gets so painful for him? He actually feels it's better for THE CHILD to walk away and not cause waves. This is what his x did to him. He would have been a wonderful Dad. He's a fantastic step-dad to Dude. Because he IS a good Step-father to Dude? His x wife does everything 28 years later to make his life as miserable as she can, and his daughter has an estranged relationship with him. Looking back however he said had he known then what he knows now? He would have fought her and her family tooth and nail for his rights. So take that advice for what it's worth. I hope you didn't feel I meant that S/O had to ride in on a white horse or I'd think less of him. Quite the opposite. I think he's a great guy in horrific circumstances with a whack job of his own to contend with. I'm not sure, or actually I'm positive I couldn't have been as kind and gracious with my mouth in describing her or her problems as you. So kudos to you for that. I have zero tolerance in my being left for adults who mess up childrens lives because of their choices with drugs. none. I just wanted to set that straight before you read the other post and thought...Gosh Star. I just hope someone is able to help S/O's daughter get the help she needs and get her set up with a stable place to live away from her drug-addled, drama queen womb-donor. She deserves that much anyway. Hugs & Love Star [/QUOTE]
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